T Nation

When Did You Last Cry and Why?

Not a lump in the throat, proper full on blubbing.

Cried myself to sleep for some hours a few weeks ago pondering the shame of my sexual inexperience and the absence of my father through my early childhood. (He was still there, just not very involved.) Apart from that I don’t tend to cry a lot.

I know what you’re thinking, Beta.

Gosnell pictures destroyed me.

[quote]Big Kahuna wrote:
Cried myself to sleep for some hours a few weeks ago pondering the shame of my sexual inexperience and the absence of my father through my early childhood. (He was still there, just not very involved.) Apart from that I don’t tend to cry a lot.

I know what you’re thinking, Beta.[/quote]

Not at all. I think it takes a big man to admit to crying. We were discussing this at a dinner party last week and there is still, even in these enlightened times, a big taboo about men and crying.

Just asking the question got all the men squirming.

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
Gosnell pictures destroyed me.[/quote]

I’m going to have to google that one and get back to you.

EDIT: Holy shit. I hadn’t heard about this. Josef Mengele springs to mind.

[quote]FarmerBrett wrote:

[quote]Big Kahuna wrote:
Cried myself to sleep for some hours a few weeks ago pondering the shame of my sexual inexperience and the absence of my father through my early childhood. (He was still there, just not very involved.) Apart from that I don’t tend to cry a lot.

I know what you’re thinking, Beta.[/quote]

Not at all. I think it takes a big man to admit to crying. We were discussing this at a dinner party last week and there is still, even in these enlightened times, a big taboo about men and crying.

Just asking the question got all the men squirming.

[/quote]

Oh don’t worry the last part was me making a funny. I tend to do that a lot, as well as being righteously honest with everything, ironically a defense mechanism for my pre-perceived inadequacies.

I hate that notion, I can understand it from a strong, leadership perspective, but the attitude is still poisonous.

[quote]Big Kahuna wrote:

I hate that notion, I can understand it from a strong, leadership perspective, [/quote]

Yeah. I wouldn’t suggest doing it in public. I have a gay neighbour in Portugal who went into the village bar and sat crying by himself because he’d lost his dog, in the literal sense, it didn’t die. The locals stood around and just laughed at him. They didn’t like him in the first place for being gay (they are a bit behind the times in rural areas) now they have no respect for him at all.

[quote]Big Kahuna wrote:
Cried myself to sleep for some hours a few weeks ago pondering the shame of my sexual inexperience[/quote]

lolwut

is this real life

When I was 6years old and my Dad said men dont cry.

After slapping me in the face of course…

[quote]FarmerBrett wrote:

[quote]Big Kahuna wrote:

I hate that notion, I can understand it from a strong, leadership perspective, [/quote]

Yeah. I wouldn’t suggest doing it in public. I have a gay neighbour in Portugal who went into the village bar and sat crying by himself because he’d lost his dog, in the literal sense, it didn’t die. The locals stood around and just laughed at him. They didn’t like him in the first place for being gay (they are a bit behind the times in rural areas) now they have no respect for him at all.[/quote]

Hispanic countries are like that a lot I find, I also find it strange at the amount of homophobic British ex-pats here as well, there might be a few more logically inclined people I’ve met, but the overwhelming majority are highly virulent and resentful. I know of two separate transgender karaoke singers (also surprisingly abundant.) that have been violently beaten by groups of attackers, mostly due to the tendencies to cross-dress and feminine behavioural attitudes. They flirt a lot with unsuspecting heterosexual men in public venues too, I assume that has something to do with it eventually.

Michael Scott final episode on The Office.

Here you go.

http://tnation.T-Nation.com/hub/DirtyM#myForums/thread/4916795/

When I read the last chapter of “Where The Red Fern Grows”.

Sectional loss in football…bawled my eyes out when my dad gave me a hug and he wouldn’t trade the past 4 years for anything.

[quote]FarmerBrett wrote:

[quote]Big Kahuna wrote:

I hate that notion, I can understand it from a strong, leadership perspective, [/quote]

Yeah. I wouldn’t suggest doing it in public.[/quote]

This.

“Men don’t cry” is emotionally crippled B.S. “Men don’t cry in public” (except under truly extraordinary circumstances) is generally pretty solid advice, IMO.

There is a time to keep it together and a time to surrender to the enormity of the moment. A guy oughta know the difference.

My Grandad died 2 weeks ago, but I seem to be the only one who hasn’t cried. The guy was like my surrogate father when I was growing up, a truly awesome person; yet I just feel kinda numb to it, like it hasn’t really happened. I fly back to the UK in a couple of days for his funeral, and I just hope it all comes out sooner rather than later. I can’t remember the last time I fully blubbed, but then again I guess the ‘emotional numbing’ could be a side effect of (previous) SSRI use.

:edit: Last time I blubbed (and in public, too) was when I was sitting at a bar with friends and got the phone call that one of our mates had gone and blown his head off in the bush (we were in Tanzania at the time). That’s round about the time I had a relapse and had to go back on SSRIs. The worst thing was that I felt guilty for never noticing that he was depressed, I always imagined that I could have helped or saved him.

[quote]Grumpig Hunt wrote:
My Grandad died 2 weeks ago, but I seem to be the only one who hasn’t cried. The guy was like my surrogate father when I was growing up, a truly awesome person; yet I just feel kinda numb to it, like it hasn’t really happened. I fly back to the UK in a couple of days for his funeral, and I just hope it all comes out sooner rather than later. I can’t remember the last time I fully blubbed, but then again I guess the ‘emotional numbing’ could be a side effect of (previous) SSRI use.

:edit: Last time I blubbed (and in public, too) was when I was sitting at a bar with friends and got the phone call that one of our mates had gone and blown his head off in the bush (we were in Tanzania at the time). That’s round about the time I had a relapse and had to go back on SSRIs. The worst thing was that I felt guilty for never noticing that he was depressed, I always imagined that I could have helped or saved him.[/quote]

A man can only save himself.

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[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]FarmerBrett wrote:

[quote]Big Kahuna wrote:

I hate that notion, I can understand it from a strong, leadership perspective, [/quote]

Yeah. I wouldn’t suggest doing it in public.[/quote]

This.

“Men don’t cry” is emotionally crippled B.S. “Men don’t cry in public” (except under truly extraordinary circumstances) is generally pretty solid advice, IMO.

There is a time to keep it together and a time to surrender to the enormity of the moment. A guy oughta know the difference. [/quote]
Grossman (“On Combat”) says “Warriors cry at the funeral, but not in the field.”
[/quote]

Yep. I find I rarely disagree with Grossman.