T Nation

What's Your Escape Plan?


I have way too much free time at work so I get to thinking about some pretty goofy shtuff like what I would do if the FBI were after me. I sure wouldn't try to leave the country. I only speak English, so Mexico and Canada are out. I think it's a good idea to go to a place where you know the ins and outs of.

Here's the plan I came up with. My parents live in St. George Utah so I would book a flight there that routes through Salt Lake City. Make it look like I am running home to Mom. From Salt Lake the flights to St. George are all turbo props and all the turbo props fly out of their own little concourse.

Once you give your ticket to the gate agent and walk out the door to the tarmac, you can easily get on any of the turbo props out there. They've got flights going to Colorado Springs, Reno and Sun Valley in addition to St. George. I can make any of those destinations work but I would go to Sun Valley. I know someone, someone hard to connect to me, who has a condo there.

It's almost always empty and I know where the key is hidden. Once there I'd get an identity then start my new life as a snowboard instructor.


I'd bet that working as a snowboard instructor, you would be able to live off the grid for quite some time, thus not needing a new identity for awhile.

Never really thought about it, but:

Head into the wilderness with small amount of survival gear, basically tent sleeping bag and few other things. Hide out in the forest for a few months to a year, long enough that all trails run cold. Contact parents, give them false heading(ie, going to Canada), head for Gulf or west coast. Either steal a boat or hitch a ride on one, and head for Mexico. Go ashore(note to self: take decent bankroll into forest with me), act like gringo turista. Get a job washing dishes or such, use my minimal Spanish skills to find someone who will help learn more, become conversational. Save up more cash, then head for Mexico City Airport: daily flight to Havana. Drop into Cuba, now speaking Spanish, and find a job working with boats or whatever I can find, and now I'm a card-carrying Communist Cuban.


Why cannot you come to Canada? We talk pretty good English here eh?


Interpol. There are currently 186 cooperating countries, Cuba included, meaning if you commit a serious crime and flee, you can get caught in most every country in the world.

List of countries:

You'd either have to go to a non-participating country (which I can't even find one), or change your identity. Either lose or gain weight so your face looks different, possibly take some growth hormone and/or major doses of testosterone in order to change the facial structures: jaw, nose, forehead, ears (sometimes). Plastic surgery could work, even something minor, though changing bone structure is very important.

If it's not to crazy, like you're not worldwide top ten criminal, then a fake ID is a good idea, and you get what you pay for so be willing to spend some money. Unfortunately, it will take some time to make contacts to get the new ID, and of course most of these suppliers are located in larger cities which poses a problem, especially if there is a CCTV facial recognition system in use.


Somewhat similar, whenever I get bored and space off I think about what I would do if the world went to shit. Say the stock market crashed, someone nuked a major US (or other) city and the economic system broke down, nationwide rioting and destruction, sort of an Escape From LA anarchy situation. You'd have to kill people for food and secure gasoline and oil for heating and living.

As far as an escape plan, you would have to avoid any known connections, be that friends, family, etc. You HAVE to start over, otherwise they WILL find you. I like the ideas about false plane tickets and giving false plans to your family, but be sure to remember they will track your call, even after you've made it, so you'll have to purchase a pre-paid phone with cash.

If you get any kind of travel ticket (plane, bus, etc.) they will be able to track that and pick you up at the airport before you take off, even if you plan on boarding another plane. You'd have to steal someone's ticket, but even then they typically check ID, and if you plan on going international it's just not going to happen.



Go here.


I would get in my car and act like I'm going to the store. When I got there, I would buy some groceries. Then I would go home and act like I live at my house. Covertly going about my day to day business, I would slowly implement a strategy of tip-toeing. As subtle as I could be, it would appear to the onlooker that I was a normal person, but the reality of it would be quite the contrary. I would be hiding in plain sight. The only thing that wuld give me away would be an unusual expenditure on shoes. Damned tip-toeing! I would quit that and disappear completely.

I'e been doing this for quite a while now. I've refined this technique so well that even if the FBI did find me, they wouldn't know why they were looking.


I would rather sit in prison than live there.


Switzerland doesn't practice deportation of foreign criminals, so that's always an option. The only problem is how difficult it is to become a legal resident, not to mention a citizen.


I thought that would be funy to say, especially in light of the current thread titled something like "They speak English in London?"


I've also thought of a way to ditch a cop pulling you over on the freeway. Pull into the 2nd lane next to a big rig truck in the first lane. Put on your signal so the cop knows you are cooperating. At the last possible second, cut in front of the truck and onto an offramp. The cop will be blocked by the truck and you will be home free. You might even be able to wave to him as you drive off.


You don't watch many police chases, do you.


I'm really amused that you have a plan in case the FBI is after you. My brothers and myself always plan what we'd do if the world went to hell, either WW3, or Zombies (you always need a zombie plan!).

What we usually agree on is that the best place to loot first would be a sporting good store. Protein powder and beef jerky, baseball bats, guns and knives, and all sorts of other survival requisites -lol



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Lansing, MI is ready for a zombie attack.

Bring it on walking dead..bring it.


Hmm, so I am not alone in planning for zombies...


hehe guys are funny


My brothers and I have an EPIC and ongoing disagreement as to the best response to a zombie attack. I advocate for heading toward former centers of population, major cities and the like. I believe forming a network of resistance to our zombie oppressors gives us the best chance for survival. In unity there is strength, etc etc

They seem to think that escaping into the wilderness to fend for yourself makes more sense, using the logic that if you eschew human contact, you separate yourself from the zombie food supply, and after all, why would the zombies penetrate the wilderness unless they KNEW teh food was there. At one point they raised the interesting possibility of finding a boat large enough to survive on teh open sea until the zombie plague was over... that does strike me as having potential


So, like one of those big party cruise ships with like a total of 10 people on it? Sounds like a plan. Do you happen to know if zombies can breathe oxygen? What about can they raise their intelligence to do something other than moan in agony and maybe learn to use a gun or open a door? Can zombies reproduce sexually? Are zombies prone to AIDS? I never see them cleaning wounds or caring about sanitation. Too many questions.


Getting in trouble with police: Flee to alaska, fish king crab

Get in non-serious trouble (e.g. pregnant gf): work up north.

Zombies: Chainsaw and a backpack with gasoline

Aliens: Flee to the mountains

Nuclear war: Flee to the mountains