T Nation

Whats the worst infomerical?

This is a tough question. Its become a ritual for me to get pissed off at these things on a daily basis. I remember when that ab thing that makes your abs contract came out. My dumbbass fuckin roommmate said that it works. Said it won’t make ya big but will help you keep what you have and ton you up.(of course this dudes a freakin P.E. major and got Ds in his courses…what a loser…all he had to do one class was show up and kick a fuckin soccer ball around lmfao) I swear I wanted to do all t-mag readers a favor and eliminate him from this earth. I mean their is too many people on this earth. I think we should get ride of all the stupid people. Anyways my aunt then a month later told me she was about to buy the ab thing and I went crazy and told her not too. Thank god she didn’t.

Anyways let me know what yall think…which ones do yall hate. Body by jake, richard simmons, remember the thing that was a long elastic poll and you held it in your hand and shaked it back and forth lol…then the tony fuckin dude has that machine where you are off the ground and go back and forth kinda like your skiing…yall know what i am talkin about…clap on clap off the fuckin clapper lol let me know what yall think. Thanks…later

“I mean their is too many people on this earth. I think we should get ride of all the stupid people…remember the thing that was a long elastic poll and you held it in your hand and shaked it back and forth lol…clap on clap off the fuckin clapper lol let me know what yall think.” I think if you want to eliminate all of the stupid people from this Earth…well, you know what they say about people who live in glass houses…or maybe you don’t.

I love those infomercials, especially the ab ones… when that chick has the ab doer or whatever on and her breasts kinda jiggle and her abs tighten… oooh baby… mmmm…

and that Tony Little Gazzelle freestyle one… hahaha… that’s hilarious, with that brunette and she’s like “wow!” and Tony’s like: “after you work out you’ll burn calories 24/7!” and she’s like “you mean to tell me that I’ll actually burn calories while I’m resting after using this dealie?” classic… I wonder if Tony and her ever done the dead… hmm maybe they did it while using the machine? hehe

The old one for the EZ Wrap 1000 is the worst one I’ve seen. It was really low budget & had a really old guy explain how it worked (pull the wrap out & tear it off), which took about a minute, then he had to figure out what to do for the rest of the 1/2 hour. He basically improvised the rest & repeated himself over & over.

“I mean their is too many people on this earth. I think we should get ride of all the stupid people”. Nice! This sounds like that little guy with a mustache that ended up causing a world war…you know Adolf Hitler…lately theres been a wave of intolerance on this forum thats beguining to bother me, like begginers getting nothing but sarcasm and irony just because they ask something that is obvious to most of us, whats the point???..sorry but had to say this, it’s not really related to your thread…

I agree with restless, he has a point… instead of being rude if it bothers you that some newb didn’t read the archives then just don’t answer, that way the message will scroll off much faster and won’t bug others or you as much.

What stupid infomercials? Those people are selling fitness and nutrition breakthroughs! In only 5 minutes a day I’ll have toned abs, with no sweat!! How can you beat that? And if I take these little pills they suck all the fat out of everything I eat. So I’ll get thin like MAGIC! I can’t believe you would ever make fun of such important inventions.

How bout which infomercial has the hottest chicks? I’d have to say Jackie Chan’s cableflex commercial has some pretty good looking women. BTW all infomercials suck but yet we all watch them. Funny isn’t it?

Actualy, i apoligise to you rob for my reply to your thread, it´s not really related. I dont agree with some shit you say, but thats my problem…peace

the worst ones are with Chuck Norris and that ditzy former blonde supermodel. they promoted some full-body workout mechanism that guaranteed muscle in some few short weeks. anyone can get similar results from a combination of sprinting and callisthenics. a machine that works is the AbSlide (I have it and it works decently) but you have to do lots of reps. the hottest chick of any fitness infommercial is the gal that does the AbTronic, you guys know; the one with the yellow spandex shorts, yellow sports bra with the beautiful chest and the sexy brown hair in a ponytail, that erotic voice and those inquisitive looks to that sappy, puny salt & pepper haired guy wearing a blue t-shirt standing next to her. what’s he got that I don’t???

I would love to see Tony Little walk a little too close to one of the Gazelles in his infomerical and have someone kick him a new asshole.

Kay for those that got onto me for posting this…well for starters it was suppose to be posted in the off-topic section…second its all in fun…i mean I don’t know if yall came off a cycle and your estrogen levels are through the roof or something…but man yall sounded like a bunch of hypersensitive little girls…relax man i am just having fun…and that comment about me eliminating people…well i would never do that…i mean people say alot of stuff when they are venting…but that doesnt mean they do it…good god relax…those that did respond in a joking matter(thank you) and some of yall cracked me up…esp the guy talkin about tony walkin next to the gazelle. lol…oh one more thing…nothing wrong with people asking question(newbies) but damn i am not going to be like the rest of america and do all the work for someone…they need to get off their lazy playstation playing asses and read a book…so now i am getting pissed again…so next time just dont fuckin respond to my message if you dont like it…it was a joke…later

Do you remember those Fat Trapper pills on TV that had Steve Garvy and some chick in her mid forties talking about how great these pills were? All I can think of was how Steve Garvy was gonna fuck this woman he was with after the shoot.

This isn’t an infomercial, but the Bowflex commercials always make me laugh (or piss me off). I love how they “guarantee you’ll get the results you want in 6 weeks or less.” Apparently in 2 more weeks I would be a pro athlete if I would have just started on the Bowflex a month ago.

In Australia we get Chuck Norris’s piece of shit THING(what ever you call it)!!! He has his wife in it and shes a fuckin retard…still hot though, i must say! :wink: She keeps say “my HUSBAND” and “when i met my HUSBAND”, its so annoying… Im like “ok we know he’s your god damn HUSBAND, call him CHUCK dammit!!!” lol

The best one I have seen in along time was the one where you laid down and your ankles rested on cradles and they shook. It was really a classic, being hawked by the ex -national aerobic champ. I can remember laying there with her legs shaking saying “I can feel the blood rushing through my body…”

Hey scoobi sounds like you want Chuck all for yourself haha :wink:

All I can remember about the Bowflex infomercial was that they were comparing the resistance to using free weights and the main dude says that a disadvantage of using free weights is that ‘they have to be lowered slowly to be effective’. Then some other twit pipes up with, “Yeah, and who does THAT?!” They all kind of chuckled and nodded their heads in agreement while I laughed my butt off at their ignorance (unintentional or not).

Oh I MUST have one of those butt and thigh blasters by Body By Jake - he says it works as well as a whole gym worth of equipment! (it’s true, they won’t use the gym membership and they won’t use this product either)

Several years back the NordicTrack people made a machine to compete with the then popular Soloflex. The selling point was, “And with the NordiFlex you can’t get sore because there’s no negative resistance, which can tear down muscle! Yuck!” Jesus wept.