T Nation

What Would You Have Done?

Basically two nights ago shit kicked off at my house.

My parents are divorced and I live with my mom and younger sister… My sister is involved with the wrong guys, lets just say she has daddy issues. Anyway her boyfriend and his mate turn up at 3am. These guys are both older than me the boyfriend 21 and the mate 30 years old,
both heroin addicts and general scum of the earth who think a spell in prison makes you “sound” and yes they have both been in prison.

Anyway it’s fallen to me over the years to be man of the house and in situations like this I don’t have the experience to deal with things. I told my sister I didn’t want them in the house at 3am waking up my mom so she takes them round the corner. My sisters friend was out there too and she goes to come back in and the big guy 30 years old is following her.

I let her in and in my english accent tell him to piss off and slam the door in his face, probably not the best idea but I have a really short fuse recently especially with people who have the audacity to assume they can just use my house as some sort of a rest house.

The guy starts knocking on the door and so I say “what do you want I told you to piss off do you not understand english?” He says your sister said I can come in so I told him well thats tough shit now fuck off. He leaves and 60 seconds later the guy is back but now his hand is through my letter box trying to open the door handle.

When I see this I lose it and fly for the door adrenaline and all and shout forgetting my mom was sleeping what the fuck do you think your doing and he pulls his hand out and hides below the door.

By now I was wondering 1. this dude is an idiot and isn’t sane 2. should i go out there and start brawling - which is what I wanted to do. The only reason I hadn’t already is because he was affiliated with my sister. If a stranger had his hands in my house reaching for the door I’d of gone for the guy.

I would be a liar to say I wasn’t scared because this guy was 200+ lbs, 30 years old with hands the size of dustbin lids plus I knew he had been to prison for biting a mans nose off and attempted murder. I’m 19 years old and I knew I’m no match for a 30 year old grown 200+lbs mad man. But I was too angry to be scared and I have had enough of doing and saying nothing in my life and would rather die fighting than on my knees.

I stood up to the guy but, I still feel like I should of hurt this guy for doing that… I know at 19 I’m not a man yet but it is my job as the male to defend the house. I feel like a damn pussy for not taking this guy out.
Anyway my mom woke up and actually let the a-hole in. I went for a shower because I was shaking with anger.

What would you of done in my situation?

Take into consideration I’m 145 lbs best with tiny hands and no real power compared to a man like that.

I would have kicked his hand that was through the mail slot…he’s breaking the house threshold so it’s considered breaking and entering. You would have been all good.

[quote]Fuzzyapple wrote:
I would have kicked his hand that was through the mail slot…he’s breaking the house threshold so it’s considered breaking and entering. You would have been all good.[/quote]

I was going to break his fingers off… Like I say though the hesitancy was there because he’s a mate of my sisters even though the guy was an ass. :confused:

i think you did fine

[quote]HolyMacaroni wrote:
i think you did fine[/quote]

Agreed. But, your mom let him in. Why?

If the guy is 30+ and done time in the hole, i would have done exactly what you did and be happy there wasnt any kind of physical altercation. If the guy has done time for “biting a nose” off, i dont think he give a care or even notice beating the snot out of you.

The real issue here is talking to your sister…

Thats tough dude, but I think you’re going to find that you have larger fish to fry if your sister doesn’t get her ass out of her head. The problem isn’t with the prison boys its with her. Its time for a long sit with baby sis and let her know that if she is going to live under the same roof as you that their should be some house rules. I think you have your hands full, and I wish you good luck. BTW you handled the situation fine.

Where’s the old chap Renton when you need him?

You really need to get your stuff together, find a job and move out. Family or not, you need to get away from these people.

In the meantime, make sure you have serial numbers and photos or can otherwise identify all your valuables stuff, like your computer, camera, etc. You’ll be losing them soon. Trust me on this one.

[quote]giterdone wrote:
HolyMacaroni wrote:
i think you did fine

Agreed. But, your mom let him in. Why?[/quote]

She said something about “not airing her dirty washing on the door-step” which is woman code for she doesn’t want the neighbours gossiping.

shame you aren’t in usa,could of just shot him.

[quote]toejam wrote:
shame you aren’t in usa,could of just shot him.[/quote]

this. Dude’s an ex felon heroin addict trying to get with your sister. End his life asap.

You did the right thing. But, I think you need to get a place of your own.


Shot him and pull him inside.

I’m surprised you didn’t get your ass stomped. I’m normally a pretty reasonable guy. I don’t like to get my clothing dirty with people’s blood, but when some asshole is threatening my family its fucking on. I own several Skil-saws and one of them is in our “misc.” pantry. I would have grabbed that badboy plugged in and turned the fucker on a couple of times telling the fucker to back the fuck up or risk loosing his motherfucking hand.

If he refused and became belligerent I would by default fear for my well being and that of my family and would bring the spinning blade down on his hand as a form of self protection. This method really makes a mess but that would show the fucker who runs this bitch but wouldn’t kill him. Thats what I would have done.

Call the police? With a history like that, the guy should still not have fully served his time. Even if he’s been out, it doesn’t mean that he’s not still on probation or has fully spent his sentence. From the time he was walking around, I gather he’s not wearing a tag, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t under some form of control.

They won’t know though until you tell them. Your local police station has a non-emergeny number, and you can still call them - in the accute case call 999. Even if you can’t get a charge going, considering pursuing an ASBO might be an option (if they are regulars and local). But these things only work if people put the work in and push for external involvement - which you will most probably need anyway (that’s just a question of time).

In order to register your stuff (I agree with the above poster wrt the disappearing stuff), go register your stuff with Immobilise (just google the site). If your sister hangs around addicts, chances are that she may be using as well.

If that is the case, it’s going to get worse - and then you’ll be faced with a tough decision: how long are you going to take it and wait until she hits rock bottom (working on the assumption that professional offers of help don’t work), make her move out (which will probably meet resistance from your mom), or move out yourself and distancing yourself from them all (if you can’t win the debates before)?

These are situations you can’t solve just by yourself, or by trying to be the ‘man in the house’. They affect and endanger you right at home. Given your young age, your main aim should be to protect yourself. That doesn’t sound very nice or ‘manly’, but remember - your mum is an adult and will make her own decisions, and her initial reaction so far doesn’t indicate that she’s prioritising the right things.

You will be unable to (and you are under no obligation to in any form) to try to be the protector of the family - the size of the guy doesn’t pay as much of a role than you might think, but his level of crazyness does. That’s what I would worry about. In any case, do not in any form arm yourself - that way will lie disaster given the strong laws in the UK on this. Be watchful and if you should run into this guy again, run. Getting out of an environment which allows people like that close to you may become your priority. Talking to your local neighbourhood policing team will be a good first step.


I think you did good, but your Mom still let him in the house?
Sounds like you need to have a talk with your sister and mom
And if thinks cant get fixed, listen to yorik and work on moving out and starting your own life.

Thanks for all the great advice guys.

if he’s ever at your house you know, and is asleep, you know, you could like break his arm or leg with a baseball or cricket bat… honestly i woulda tried breaking his arm with a stomp if he reached in my house. but this is America and some guy reaching into your house is grounds for me blowing him away, dunno about the UK.

I think you did alright man. Congrats, it’s not everyday we have one of these stories and the OP actually handled it well.

[quote]CrewPierce wrote:
I think you did alright man. Congrats, it’s not everyday we have one of these stories and the OP actually handled it well.

Exactly. This is the first one I can think of where the guy did well.

Bruceleefan, do what everybody’s saying and try talking some sense into your mom. Your sister is an idiot, but your mom should have enough sense to keep these people out of your house. If you’re willing to defend your home your mom should support you, not undermine you. If she isn’t you need to get out. Sucks to leave them defenseless, but you can’t help people who won’t help themselves.