T Nation

What to Wear to Funeral?

Is this serious?

Bro, these are essential:

  • Dave Matthews’ band trucker hat from their kick ass summer tour of 2009 bro!
  • Peach/Salmon/Tennessee orange polo shirt with Ralph Lauren logo embedded
  • Frayed Khaki shorts
  • Sandals, but the ones with the toe thongs because they’re so much more beast bro
  • Optional - Aviators and cigarette tucked behind ear

[quote]SSC wrote:
Is this serious?

Bro, these are essential:

  • Dave Matthews’ band trucker hat from their kick ass summer tour of 2009 bro!
  • Peach/Salmon/Tennessee orange polo shirt with Ralph Lauren logo embedded
  • Frayed Khaki shorts
  • Sandals, but the ones with the toe thongs because they’re so much more beast bro
  • Optional - Aviators and cigarette tucked behind ear[/quote]

If it’s an open casket you should also remember to teabag the corpse and then expose yourself to the deceased’s mother/wife/daughter.

[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]dshroy wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
Don’t wear a polo shirt. You aren’t going to a “mixer” at your fucking fraternity, you douchebag. Wear a black suit with no accessories, except for an understated watch if you have one. Leave the big, flashy Rolex at home.

Do NOT wear a black dress shirt. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve never liked that look with a black or dark-colored suit. If you have a charcoal grey shirt, wear it. Otherwise, white will suffice. Wear a black tie if you have one, otherwise just wear something with a really dark, simple pattern. Use an Oriental or half-Windsor knot for something very simple. No pocket squares/handkerchiefs necessary.

As for the suit itself, it had better be a two-button, single-breasted jacket. If it’s a 3-piece, leave the vest at home. Do NOT wear sneakers of any kind. I don’t give a fuck who you are, you are NOT Justin Timberlake and you are NOT a Grammy Award-winning hip hop artist so you will NOT pull this look off, except in the eyes of people whose opinions on this matter are irrelevant. Wear black dress shoes, period.

Don’t worry about appearing overdressed. It’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed. Funerals are about showing respect to the deceased and that’s it. Your way of showing respect is to make clear that you put a little extra time into your clothing for the funeral because the deceased deserves at least that much. This is not a time to avoid a suit because of the inconvenience of having to get it dry-cleaned or getting a new tie or because you’re worried about how you’ll appear to everyone else or you’re worried about being overdressed.

The deceased is far more inconvenienced than you are at this point, so by wearing the suit and wearing it in a manner that shows you put a little effort into it, you are telling the deceased “hey, I cared enough about you to at least spend a few extra minutes getting dressed for your funeral.” And screw what anyone else thinks if you appear overdressed.

You won’t be better-dressed than the deceased and if you are, that’s THEIR bad and not yours. If the deceased’s own family shows up wearing motherfucking POLO SHIRTS, fuck them. Don’t placate the lowest common denominator here. You know what’s appropriate and classy and if they don’t that doesn’t mean you stoop to their level.

If it’s really hot out, deal with it. The dead fucker in the casket is probably going somewhere a lot hotter than where you’re at. And this is also why you should own two 100% Italian linen suits. One light-colored earth tone for outdoor weddings in the summer, and one in black or dark grey for funerals in the summer.[/quote]
looks like another ask dbcooper thread. well, in that case,

Dear DB Cooper,
Is herpes really forever?[/quote]

I won’t answer that here.[/quote]

The ask DB Cooper thread? Interesting.

So DB I was thinking about doing some naked box squats should I go barefoot or wear my vibrams? :slight_smile:

Yes Herpes are forever that one I can answer.[/quote]

I won’t answer that here. There’s a whole thread for these sorts of questions.[/quote]

But I dont go to SAMA I am over 25, that is for guys whose brains dont work yet. And Print the old horny guy. [/quote]

Screw you, nurse Betty!

Oh, I echo what DB said.

Black suit, navy blue at most
white shirt
blue, grey, or black tie
black shoes

Graveside is for family only, typically.

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
Don’t wear a polo shirt. You aren’t going to a “mixer” at your fucking fraternity, you douchebag. Wear a black suit with no accessories, except for an understated watch if you have one. Leave the big, flashy Rolex at home.

Do NOT wear a black dress shirt. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve never liked that look with a black or dark-colored suit. If you have a charcoal grey shirt, wear it. Otherwise, white will suffice. Wear a black tie if you have one, otherwise just wear something with a really dark, simple pattern. Use an Oriental or half-Windsor knot for something very simple. No pocket squares/handkerchiefs necessary.

As for the suit itself, it had better be a two-button, single-breasted jacket. If it’s a 3-piece, leave the vest at home. Do NOT wear sneakers of any kind. I don’t give a fuck who you are, you are NOT Justin Timberlake and you are NOT a Grammy Award-winning hip hop artist so you will NOT pull this look off, except in the eyes of people whose opinions on this matter are irrelevant. Wear black dress shoes, period.

Don’t worry about appearing overdressed. It’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed. Funerals are about showing respect to the deceased and that’s it. Your way of showing respect is to make clear that you put a little extra time into your clothing for the funeral because the deceased deserves at least that much. This is not a time to avoid a suit because of the inconvenience of having to get it dry-cleaned or getting a new tie or because you’re worried about how you’ll appear to everyone else or you’re worried about being overdressed.

The deceased is far more inconvenienced than you are at this point, so by wearing the suit and wearing it in a manner that shows you put a little effort into it, you are telling the deceased “hey, I cared enough about you to at least spend a few extra minutes getting dressed for your funeral.” And screw what anyone else thinks if you appear overdressed.

You won’t be better-dressed than the deceased and if you are, that’s THEIR bad and not yours. If the deceased’s own family shows up wearing motherfucking POLO SHIRTS, fuck them. Don’t placate the lowest common denominator here. You know what’s appropriate and classy and if they don’t that doesn’t mean you stoop to their level.

If it’s really hot out, deal with it. The dead fucker in the casket is probably going somewhere a lot hotter than where you’re at. And this is also why you should own two 100% Italian linen suits. One light-colored earth tone for outdoor weddings in the summer, and one in black or dark grey for funerals in the summer.[/quote]

Wear a suit.

/thread

[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]dshroy wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
Don’t wear a polo shirt. You aren’t going to a “mixer” at your fucking fraternity, you douchebag. Wear a black suit with no accessories, except for an understated watch if you have one. Leave the big, flashy Rolex at home.

Do NOT wear a black dress shirt. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve never liked that look with a black or dark-colored suit. If you have a charcoal grey shirt, wear it. Otherwise, white will suffice. Wear a black tie if you have one, otherwise just wear something with a really dark, simple pattern. Use an Oriental or half-Windsor knot for something very simple. No pocket squares/handkerchiefs necessary.

As for the suit itself, it had better be a two-button, single-breasted jacket. If it’s a 3-piece, leave the vest at home. Do NOT wear sneakers of any kind. I don’t give a fuck who you are, you are NOT Justin Timberlake and you are NOT a Grammy Award-winning hip hop artist so you will NOT pull this look off, except in the eyes of people whose opinions on this matter are irrelevant. Wear black dress shoes, period.

Don’t worry about appearing overdressed. It’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed. Funerals are about showing respect to the deceased and that’s it. Your way of showing respect is to make clear that you put a little extra time into your clothing for the funeral because the deceased deserves at least that much. This is not a time to avoid a suit because of the inconvenience of having to get it dry-cleaned or getting a new tie or because you’re worried about how you’ll appear to everyone else or you’re worried about being overdressed.

The deceased is far more inconvenienced than you are at this point, so by wearing the suit and wearing it in a manner that shows you put a little effort into it, you are telling the deceased “hey, I cared enough about you to at least spend a few extra minutes getting dressed for your funeral.” And screw what anyone else thinks if you appear overdressed.

You won’t be better-dressed than the deceased and if you are, that’s THEIR bad and not yours. If the deceased’s own family shows up wearing motherfucking POLO SHIRTS, fuck them. Don’t placate the lowest common denominator here. You know what’s appropriate and classy and if they don’t that doesn’t mean you stoop to their level.

If it’s really hot out, deal with it. The dead fucker in the casket is probably going somewhere a lot hotter than where you’re at. And this is also why you should own two 100% Italian linen suits. One light-colored earth tone for outdoor weddings in the summer, and one in black or dark grey for funerals in the summer.[/quote]
looks like another ask dbcooper thread. well, in that case,

Dear DB Cooper,
Is herpes really forever?[/quote]

I won’t answer that here.[/quote]

The ask DB Cooper thread? Interesting.

So DB I was thinking about doing some naked box squats should I go barefoot or wear my vibrams? :slight_smile:

Yes Herpes are forever that one I can answer.[/quote]

I won’t answer that here. There’s a whole thread for these sorts of questions.[/quote]

But I dont go to SAMA I am over 25, that is for guys whose brains dont work yet. And Print the old horny guy. [/quote]

Bastard.

I made that thread, the least you could do is calling me out as an old pervert too.

OP: Dark suit, shirt, tie, shoes fitting the suit (i.e black leather shoes) AND NO FUCKING POLO SHIRT.

Look stricken, deliver your condolences, keep in the background, this is not about you.

I’m off to www.funerals.com to find out how to get my arms to 20 inches.

Some good advice here. I really have to agree with whoever suggested NOT to wear a black dress shirt. Unless you’re Johnny Cash, that’s just not a good look for anyone…

Is this your first funeral or something?

[quote]QuadasarusFlex wrote:
Is this your first funeral or something?[/quote]

I can make sure there are more to come…

Shockingly the OP is over 20?!!

No polo shirt! Black suit, White (clean) shirt, dark tie, smart dress shoes (polished)

No spats, hats, cocktail stick in the mouth, or high fives.

In all seriousness, I want to meet a person who’s socially unaware enough to NOT know what to wear to a funeral.

I feel like I’m in an alternate reality right now.

Did you see the thread where a guy asked if body fat calipers can become inaccurate if the spring gets loose?

Maybe it was the same OP.