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What to Tell Daughter About Boys


I have been thinking about this lately. Although I have some time before this needs to be broached I thought it could be an interesting discussion. The age group I had in mind was 12 to 14 years old. A thread some time ago about how young is too young got me thinking about this some. Given girls are starting puberty even earlier than 12 and some guys here think puberty is a green light, well, it got me thinking of what to tell girls about boys who show interest.

So what would tell your daughters (current and/or future) about boys when it comes to relationships and sex?

Addendum: I think a thread about what to tell boys about girls would be interesting at a later date.


The truth. All sides of it.


Dude, I don't know, I'm totally screwed when my daughters grow up. I don't know what to tell them, so I might have to feed them sticks of butter so that the boys won't even talk to them :slight_smile:


IMO, 10-12 is the right age. Granted, I don't feel it is ACTUALLY the right age, but I know more then a few girls who lost their virginity around then. Not to mention with the asinine amount of girls getting pregnant around 15, too early isn't the problem.

I'd instruct them about STD's, get them on BC, and tell them to explore when they are comfortable, not when their whorish friends are.


Care to elaborate?


If I had a daughter I would strongly encourage her to become a lesbian.


Boys are stupid.


I agree with a lot of this. I found for me that STDs/disease/lifetime of having to deal with a bad mistake made me more aware of what could go wrong rather than just what might go right. There is a stat about the local pop where I live that 1 in 3 girls have a STD before 16, the rate for guys is much lower.


I sometimes feel we have to protect our daughters from the very behavior that is often condoned and encouraged on these forums. Gives pause.


The absolute truth.

Boys are pimpled, testosterone driven liars that will do and say absolutely anything to get laid and that none of this will change until they hit at least thirty.


I would ask Headhunter if I were you. He can give you some great advice on sex toys to buy your daughter.




I told my daughter exactly this. She agreed and added that most of them are gross as well. I think this applies to boys her age (12). And, yes, I would have included myself in this at that age.


Boy, do I think about this every day (have daughters).

Preparing for these things should start years before that age with the teaching of modesty, humility, confidence, and self-respect. With those things in place, a lot of the details fall in place when the time comes to discuss the details. Sadly, as stated earlier 10-12 is not too early.

My oldest will be 10 next year. Although signs of puberty are creeping in, she's not hardly aware of some of the things other 10 year olds who may have had accelerated childhoods due to where they grew up, economic conditions, family structure, etc.

She and her friends are still into 'Polly Pockets'. She talks about how some girls at school just want to talk about boys and how that disgusts her :wink:

I may have to chime in more later.

In the meantime, for all the fathers (and mothers) with daughters, I highly recommend this book:

"Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters" (Meg Meeker)


You had me at "Directly challenging the feminist attack on traditional masculinity..."


Hey, I'm 31, and I resent that! I'm hoping for at least another decade of testosterone-fueled lies! :slight_smile:


I hear why boys and men suck enough in academia and in the media, would rather not reinforce it so easily. I agree many boys are confused about who they are and how they are supposed to act I just find saying they are stupid is gender bashing.



It sounds like you are wondering what to tell her about sex rather than what to tell her about boys. It's probably best if her mother were the one to tell her about the birds and the bees. As far as boys go, you can't tell her anything that applies to EVERY SINGLE MALE out there. We're all different, and contrary to popularly-held opinion, not all boys/men are pieces of shit with one thing in mind, a thing that they will stop at absolutely nothing to get.

Your only real hope is that you have raised her and will continue to raise her in such a manner that she acquires all the necessary "life tools" to deal with those men she may come across who ARE scumbags. Because she will come across some. But if she has been raised right, she is self-confident, intelligent, etc etc, she most likely won't be attracted to the type of guy who will habitually treat her like shit. I assume this is the kind of guy you want her to avoid. And if she is, believe me, her father voicing opposition to the men she dates isn't going to steer her away from them.

The flip side of that coin is that if she IS self-confident, intelligent, has a sense of self rather than a need to define herself through who she dates and so forth, then she will also reject your advice about men to a certain extent. She will be smart enough to know, maybe just subconsciously at first, that she needs to find out for herself what the male animal is all about. You can't decide for her what sort of guy she dates and you can't start at an early to indoctrinate her about men in the hopes that she will be attracted to the sort of men YOU want her to be attracted to. She'll pick up on that, even if she can't quite explain what it is she's picking up on.

It's a leap of faith. Parenting in general is a series of leaps of faith. You can't control everything about her; you can only hope that your parenting has prepared her in such a way that she does not become an easy target for guys looking for a cum dumpster. Puberty and the requisite exposure to the opposite sex is one of these leaps of faith. When she starts high school is another, as is college, letting her go out at night with friends to places where drinking and/or drug use may be taking place is another, her first serious boyfriend that she likes and you don't is another one. There's a lot.


I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad that I have two boys.

Dustin, I thought about HH too! Buying your daughter sex toys FTMFW! LMAO

As for talking about sex with your children, go honest, go early, go OFTEN. Put the topic on the table every few months or so and gauge by their interest how deep to get into it. When they are ready, they'll ask questions that will surprise you (at least my eldest son did).

Keep CLOSE tabs on their facebook page!

Make sure they have activities OTHER than boys to participate in (my son is in Scouts, soccer, violin, chess club, volunteer time for his Eagle Scout rank, outside projects that I have him working on - the point is that I keep him BUSY.

Good Luck!


I'd this talk with my sister some time ago, I really just told her the consequences of being sexually irresponsible, that boys will say anything to get what they want, and to not let them influence her. She's pretty good anyway so I've never been too worried about her.

The most important thing is to stress to her that you're not trying to impose your will on her, you're trying to give her insight. Make it a discussion rather than a lecture.