You assume I'm anything like either Rotten or Vicious; I don't pretend to be anything but myself.
Rather than a representation of myself, they both present fantastic representations of the idea of an avatar. An avatar is just a picture; it's a completely fake, often idealized or stylized, 'portrait' that has little or nothing to do with the person behind it.
Rotten is fake, he's John Lydon's avatar. Vicious is fake, he's John Beverly's (or Simon Ritchie, depending on who you ask) avatar. As such, either can be my avatar, as I have about as much in common with Rotten or Vicious as Lydon or Beverly. Meaningless facades are easily interchangeable. In fact, they are designed to be as such.
If you like a simpler answer, I'm a Pistols fan who happens to occasionally find myself holding an unpopular opinion. Just as well it appears to come from the mouth of someone already known for such behavior. My ideas are more easily dismissed if I suggest I might just be pissing on your values just for the sake of it.
If I'm just some internet punk with a filthy mouth and no scruples, I effectively don't matter, and neither does anything I say or believe. Think of it as a favor for T-Nation, if you will.
Why am I here? Same as everyone else. I currently have nothing better do, as Sunday is an off day. And shooting the shit is something to do after I order my protein.
G, I think most people are in a similar situation as you. Some settle for it, while others rise above it. If you don't like your reality, change it until you do. I'm currently in a more transitive state, myself, and by the end of the year I plan to be doing something entirely foreign. Change my life, essentially. I see no other way to be what I want to be, or do what I want to do.
It's scary, strange, and possibly quite stupid, but I imagine it has to be. Every dream worth having seems entirely ridiculous until you've fulfilled it. All we can do is try.
And if we fail, well, there's something to be had in failure, as well.
And if we die, well, that's pretty exciting, isn't it?