T Nation

What to Do When You Stop Caring?

What do you do when you stop giving a shit?

Seriously. I’ve got no idea.

I’m thinking of getting a helicopter pilot’s license since I’ve always wanted to fly.
This would not only send me broke but put me in debt to the tune of a year’s net salary.
I am really tempted but I don’t want to ‘run away’ from the real problem (myself).

Before you tell me to harden the fuck up let me say I already know that I should.

Does anyone else stay afloat in reality but feel like shit anyway?

I managed to graduate university (Information Technology).

I managed to get good employment (I’m earning more than many of my peers).

I started a law degree to relieve the boredom but I’m thinking maybe I’ll postpone this for a while…

I’m only 23.

Before when I felt like this (2 years ago) I started lifting weights. I try hard to turn my negative thoughts into positive actions.

I’ve lost my motivation to do this.

I always thought that those who desired to know ‘WHY’ we are on this planet were stupid - we just are.

Now I’m asking that same question.

Would love your thoughts. There’s a few older people on these forums with some insight now and again and I turn to you now.

(Yes. I’ve been drinking. For a while now, every night).

Cheers,
Spry.

I damn thee to the deepest darkest hell there is.
I saw the title and jumped on it quick and I stopped reading after this post is pathatic.

you are oh so wrong

[quote]Nich wrote:
I damn thee to the deepest darkest hell there is.
I saw the title and jumped on it quick and I stopped reading after this post is pathatic.

you are oh so wrong[/quote]

I still have a sense of humor!

…sorry to hear about your predicament Spry, and there’s only this to suggest: stop drinking, don’t dull this feeling but delve into it headlong and try to discover what it is trying to tell you…

…you decide why you are here, you make your own purpose and go for it. Go on a walkabout and get to know what it is you truely desire from this life…

…good luck!

[quote]Spry wrote:
Nich wrote:
I damn thee to the deepest darkest hell there is.
I saw the title and jumped on it quick and I stopped reading after this post is pathatic.

you are oh so wrong

I still have a sense of humor![/quote]

Agreed!

Don’t worry too much about it - I get the same way too. I’m turning 24 tomorrow, and feel like every year I get older, the more lost I am with what I want to do. Seriously - I too have a decent job for my age, but haven’t done a degree and I wonder what I want to do ultimately.

If you wanna be a helicopter pilot - then fucking do it! Save your money for a year or two, and get it done without getting into (too much) debt.

ok,joking aside.

this older guy at the gym years ago was chillin in the hot tub after a work out next to me and he was talking like old people do.
he asked me my name and the normal get to know you stuff.
then asked me what did I want to do.
I asked him like for a living
he said no what do you want to do.
told him I wanted to build cars and take up what my grandfather started with the shop and the race teams and all that.

then told him I couldnt becuase I didnt have money or time
he told me right then,
“if you makes excuses then you dont want it bad enough and its not what you want.”

“Always go after what you want no mater what the costs.
if you nearly starve,loose family,friends maybe a little bit of yourself to get what you want it is a sure thing that you will get what you want”.

I sat there as he shook my hand and said keep it up youll be alright and walked away and I looked out the window because I wanted to see what kind of car this guy drove.
he got into a ratty old ford truck that looked like it was not going to make it home.

I see this guy every day next several days we talk some more and I find out who he is.
he is the general manager and part owner of a rock radio station here in town.
not only does he manage this one but several radio stations that are owned by the same company
this guy is worth millions and made his millions listening to music.
came from nothing as a kid
this old mans ramblings didnt make sence at the time but now that I am actually doing what he said I realise what he was saying.

now my advice to you is the same tha the gave to me.
figure what you want to do and do it.
ont make excuses just get the fuck out there and get it done no mater what the cost.
the more you give up for something the less you will let yourself fail at it.

big thing stop drinkin gand find a real person to talk to about this.
other than that you know what you need you just want to hear it from other people.

Awww. the admins changed the title.

But at least the URL is hard coded: http://www.T-Nation.com/free_online_forum/music_movies_girls_life/october_girl_naked

Change the title back, admins! Give me at least that, please!

PS. Thanks ephrem, RSGZ and Nich. I really do appreciate your responses. Perhaps one day I’ll be able to repay you for your advice or at least be kind to a stranger as well.

Thanks.

Read Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill. Seriously. If you can read this book without a massive turnaround in your attitude (granted you have not read it already), then you should seek psychological help or something similar (I’m not joking). You’ve fallen into a rut. Everybody does that. You need something to blast you out of it. This book will do it. It’s not just about getting rich. Not by a long shot.

Please thank me via PM later, or now, if you have questions. I seriously believe this will help you.

[quote]Nich wrote:
ok,joking aside.

this older guy at the gym years ago was chillin in the hot tub after a work out next to me and he was talking like old people do.
he asked me my name and the normal get to know you stuff.
then asked me what did I want to do.
I asked him like for a living
he said no what do you want to do.
told him I wanted to build cars and take up what my grandfather started with the shop and the race teams and all that.

then told him I couldnt becuase I didnt have money or time
he told me right then,
“if you makes excuses then you dont want it bad enough and its not what you want.”

“Always go after what you want no mater what the costs.
if you nearly starve,loose family,friends maybe a little bit of yourself to get what you want it is a sure thing that you will get what you want”.

I sat there as he shook my hand and said keep it up youll be alright and walked away and I looked out the window because I wanted to see what kind of car this guy drove.
he got into a ratty old ford truck that looked like it was not going to make it home.

I see this guy every day next several days we talk some more and I find out who he is.
he is the general manager and part owner of a rock radio station here in town.
not only does he manage this one but several radio stations that are owned by the same company
this guy is worth millions and made his millions listening to music.
came from nothing as a kid
this old mans ramblings didnt make sence at the time but now that I am actually doing what he said I realise what he was saying.

now my advice to you is the same tha the gave to me.
figure what you want to do and do it.
ont make excuses just get the fuck out there and get it done no mater what the cost.
the more you give up for something the less you will let yourself fail at it.

big thing stop drinkin gand find a real person to talk to about this.
other than that you know what you need you just want to hear it from other people.[/quote]

Also this is a good post. Perfectly in line with what I just wrote, actually.

Sorry to hear about your predicament. I hope everything works out for you.

I’m your age and can relate to what you are saying. I worked my way through school to get the job I have now. I wonder all the time if it was worth it and think alot about going back to school or looking into a different career track when I have some money put away.

… anyway… back to planet Spry…

I guess I’m not really in the best position to give you advice, except cut back on the booze. If you feel like this alcohol will only make it worse.

In your corner,

Joe

Find what motivates you and figure out what you can do to push toward that. If you really have lost all motivation whatsoever (for a long time period) then i’d actually consider therapy, because that’s not normal.

But keep in mind that success breeds success. Accomplishing something will make you happier and it will be easier to accomplish more things. You just experienced the reward of your hard work so you will know where hard work leads. So sometimes it is good to just suck it up and accomplish something to get the ball rolling.

[quote]Spry wrote:
(Yes. I’ve been drinking. For a while now, every night).

Cheers,
Spry.[/quote]

You are well on your way to becoming a pilot.

If you want to fly helicopters why don’t you go take a test flight with an instructor? If you like it you can figure out about how much it would cost to obtain the different ratings. Then you know how much you need to save up.

If you are going to do it I’d suggest going into debt for it. First off it takes a while to obtain all the necessary licenses and flight time. Second it is expensive so if you wait forever to save up the money you’ll be wasting a lot of your prime flying years.

As far as what to do when you stop caring…either you have some psychological problem…or you just don’t really like what you are doing.

When my wife felt this way, she left me.
…3 weeks ago.

So yeah I got nothing for ya.

You need something new in your life. New job, hobby, woman, something. Life gets dull for all of us every now and then, find a way to make it interesting again.

Sounds a lot like depression.

[quote]Geminspector wrote:
Sounds a lot like depression. [/quote]

Yeah, and I spent 2 weeks in an alcohol coma if you will, and it was friggin hard to return to normal life wihtout it. Sleeping and the like. Plus I didnt train.

Its still hard to get food down but at least im back at the weights.

I think you should follow what you want to do, loose the alcohol and refocus on your life. Re-evaluate if needed.

Shooting a gun helps, just try not to aim it at people.

[quote]johnward82 wrote:
Geminspector wrote:
Sounds a lot like depression.

Yeah, and I spent 2 weeks in an alcohol coma if you will, and it was friggin hard to return to normal life wihtout it. Sleeping and the like. Plus I didnt train.

Its still hard to get food down but at least im back at the weights.

I think you should follow what you want to do, loose the alcohol and refocus on your life. Re-evaluate if needed.

Shooting a gun helps, just try not to aim it at people.
[/quote]

I’ve had some troubles with the bottle in the past. It seems to run in my family. If you think you have a problem, you probably do and should get some help. Nothing wrong with trying to get sober. It takes a lot of balls to admit you have a problem.

Spry,

The key to your whole predicament can be summed up in your own words: “You’re only 23.”

No offense to the young guys on here, but since when did everyone start thinking life should just magically sort itself out 5 years after High School?

Find something you do well, bust your ass at it, live decently, and await the long-term benefits. A simple equation that can be applied to working out, relationships, career, etc.

My twenties were a mixed-bag of ups and downs. I would not go back for all the money in the world but I certainly would not change much either. The good, the bad, and the ugly help mold you into a well-rounded individual.

Life started making much more sense when I hit 30. Now, looking down the barrel of 39, I can honestly say that life is pretty damn good. It actually has been for awhile, but you get tunnel vision when you chase your dreams.

Relax, take a deep breath, and enjoy the ride.

For fuck’s sake, life is not supposed to be easy. If it were, the world would be chock full of vacuous assholes like Paris Hilton…

Only the strong survive the real tests. And strong in this sense of the word has zero to do with a 1-rep max.

[quote]Spry wrote:

I always thought that those who desired to know ‘WHY’ we are on this planet were stupid - we just are.

Now I’m asking that same question.

Spry.[/quote]

Well then, the last thing you would want to hear is that spirituality is a part of who we are so ignoring even the possibility of there being a reason would mean you believe the world revolves around chaos and the random occasional manifestation of order by pure accident.

I don’t see why people who think that way aren’t depressed 24/7.

May the debate start now.

[quote]Professor X wrote:

Well then, the last thing you would want to hear is that spirituality is a part of who we are so ignoring even the possibility of there being a reason would mean you believe the world revolves around chaos and the random occasional manifestation of order by pure accident.

I don’t see why people who think that way aren’t depressed 24/7.

May the debate start now.[/quote]

I prefer to think of it as the other way around, that the manifestation of order tends toward chaos.

Entropy’s a bitch.