T Nation

what the hell?!

Ok, recently I have been making major gains in the shape of my physique. I look pretty good now and the females are beginning to respond quite a bit. What I don’t understand is why other men are now my problem. I can’t even talk to a girl without another guy starting shit with me or playing high school games. Its pathetic. I have already experianced other women playing games if I don’t give each their own attention/affection. But men now too!!! Are men really that stupid and lacking in their own confidence? It seems so and I am hateing it. I finally turn myself around and begin to respect myself and treat myself properly and all of a sudden I got like twenty dumbass’ that are threatened by me. Here is an example- I go to work and there is this trainee that I have to show the ropes. She is a younger girl and quite cute. After our first conversation I realize she’s too young for me and not really my type. But, I’d like to be her friend. So she then starts to tell me she has a crush on another guy more her age at work. I told her to go for it and encouraged her, not haveing anything against the guy she is interested in. All the while this guy is watching us like he is going to kill me and his buddy keeps on coming over to me to check on the trainee. The next day this girl won’t even say two words to me and why? Because this guy is interested in her as well and thought I was getting in his territory so he made up some BS about me. Go figure. I’m trying to help him out and he shits on me because he doesn’t feel good about himself. What the fuck??? No offense T-Vixens but I thought men didn’t do this. I had expected it from women before, from experiance, but not from men. The really crap thing about this is: Other girls are hearing this new made up rumor and it is slowly starting to make girls I don’t even know act like I am a jerk. It doesn’t stop there. Men will butt into converstations or even have the balls to ask me what is wrong if a girl decides to be friendly with me, god forbid its something important that is work related! T-Men/Vixens what should I do about this?

Why not tell your boss? I got in trouble for telling people at work stuff (which was true though) about a cashier & I probably would have gotten fired if I kept it up because of harassment, etc. That’s how Safeway works, I don’t know what you do. Find out what he’s saying & get the boss to do something about it if you can.

Though I too I have dealt with situations like this, none have been as direct as yours. After I leaned out about 25 pds, a couple of years ago, all my male friends would totally change once we all got around females. Though they all knew I lifted weights like crazy and was pretty thick, they still made anorexic (sp??) jokes about my weight and teased me about my size in front of all the women. You’ll learn real quick who your friends are. Anyway, I would confront this jerk and talk out the whole situaiton. Put him on the spot because he’s the whole reason all this crap is going on. Make him explain why he’s jealous, what he said, etc. Good luck.

they are just doing this to compensate, look at it this way you have an edge, your body and your discipline. These guys are threatened by it, so what do they do? they cheat… except all is fair in love and war. Plus they aren’t that bright since you weren’t even interested in that chick to begin with.

You sound like a guy who keeps to himself mostly (I am judging this by your current situation). If you were friends or at least friendly with that other guy then this wouldn’t have happened. You’d just go: hey dood she digs you, she told me herself.

And another thing… you classify these jealous wussies as men. Don’t, untill they prove it with their actions there still little boys (and so far there getting further from the right track).

What should you do… I don’t know… but keep in mind that running from things usually leads to frustration and you are in a good position to confront things head on, since you are in the right here and the rumor is just that.

Hey, I know what you mean. I’ve made some huge progress in the last 2.5 years myself, and I see the same happening. Last weekend I was out at the bar, and this guy (decent size) was joking around with his buddies, he kept pointing at me saying something I couldn’t really understand. He would almost walk up to me, within 4 feet, point and say something back to his buddies who were all laughing. I’m pretty sure he said something like “who him? He’s FAT!” (As if to be sizing me up, because one of them thought I would be a good fight) which I’m not, well not really, like 14%bf. So anyways, I looked at him up and down, knew if I started some shit, I could have probably taken him. But he had 5 friends with him, and it was very crowded. So instead I decided to smile, shoot the evil eye and walk away. I was kind of pissed, but the more I thought about it, the happier I was I walked. No need to get arrested, or look like an asshole in front of everyone. Contrary to many peoples’ beliefs, girls do not like to see fights, and they don’t like guys who get into fights. My advice is to let that shit slide. Sounds like they’re all acting like 16 year olds (not all are bad, but most 16 year olds are immature), so let them act like that. As for the rumors, if he is saying things that make you look bad, prove him wrong. Simply show the girl(s) you’re not an asshole by having a nice conversation.

And where do you live? I don’t know any guys in the Tri-state area that acts like that. If what you say is true it sure alot of BS. I would go up to the girl that you are just friends with and just ask her what she heard and just let her know your not like that and who ever is spreading the rumor is lying. Then find out who spread the rumor and confront his ass. Ask him whats up with that and why did he do that. Worse comes to worse if they want rumors then give them rumors about how bad your temper is and how ya willing to beat his ass in when you see him at a bar. That is if your willing to fight. If not just verbally confront him, must people back away when they are verbally confronted. Try to stop the rumor before it gets its a life of its own.

Women do it. Men do it. It’s really pretty simple. People suck. True, there’s a handful (ok, maybe more than just one handful) of folks around the world that defy that axiom, but generally speaking…people suck. Strong statement I realize, but oh well. I think there are more shallow, evil, neurotic, brainless wastes of oxygen consumption walking around today than there are those that embody what most of us have come to term “T-man” characteristics. Of course this is all extremely subjective and some folks would probably lump me in with the former category. Can you tell I’ll lose sleep over this possibility? :wink: sigh Aaah, sorry. What a day it’s been.

Your scenario reminds me of going crabbing. Have you ever been? It’s one of those things I miss about living in the Pacific Northwest. You get the craving for fresh crab at 9pm, drive out to the coast, drop your pots, and you’re home enjoying fresh crab by 1am. But on the way home, you notice something odd. The 20 gallon bucket you put your crabbies and sea water in is causing quite a ruckus in the back seat. So you go investigate. What you find is a bucket full of freaked out crabs scrambling over eachother, trying to scale the walls and escape. They know they’re about to be eaten. This is what their momma warned them about…dreamlike sequence “…remember dearies, never ever go near a chicken leg…chickens don’t live in the ocean…the only chicken legs you’ll see are in crab pots…crab pots mean DEATH…” So what do these poor bastards do when they realize they’re gonna die? Do they crawl up eachother’s backs to reach the lip of the bucket and then join claws and pull the others over to freedom? Nooo, they are so eager to get out themselves that they pull the guys that are almost out of the bucket down and try to stand on top of them. End result… no one gets out alive.

People are like crabs in that 98 times out of 100, if they see you excelling in some fashion they do their damnedest to pull you back down into the pot instead of following your example and excelling themselves. Sick side note: Do people taste as good as crab?

My girlfriend had crabs once that were pretty tasty. Is that what you had in mind?

 It's all about being a MAN. Mark YOUR territory. Show them THEY better stay away from her, or else. Teach them some respect! This sounds a bit harsh, but it sounds like whats happening is a a few guys trying to settle 'whos da man' - or the alpha male, the wolf pack leader... u get the point. Are you gonna let some pussy who needs to make up some bullshit about you behind your back, who couldnt probably defend himself if he was attacked by a little puppy, be the pack leader? Damn i'd be kicking myself in the balls if i didnt make it clear to the guy what respect is. If they bullshit you show them where ur testes are. 

another problem you have here is that this is happening at work. So if you are all aggressive and confrontational you could get fired, while these guys would just be lil innocent devils. Unfortunatly work these days makes us wussies… aggressive and confident natures aren’t too well regarded, its more of a teamwork deal, even if the team doesn’t get anything accomplished.

Rember it is lonely at the top… These guys are the same guys that would still your car if it was nice enough. They can not still your body so they wil just put it down. I spend a lot of time looking like I am pissed. No one gives me a hard time. I already look mad. The only down side is that it does not make you very approachabel for women.

Karma that was an amazing analogy. You should be a writer. Really… well put. Well the news is that all is good now. Other women at work helped me out on this one… they sort of made me the alpha male on their own I guess. They were beginning to spread rumors but I believe a couple of them stopped it. Funny thing is this guy all of a sudden looks pathetic. Other people, that were aware of what was going on, said he looks like shit and is a big dork … and say whatever else they can to cut him down. The shallow part in people was my problem yet the shallow part came to my aid. Now a lot of girls I don’t even know, know my name and make it a point to say hello or something to ingage me all the time. I think the only girl that I’ve had sex with for some reason defends me socially though we are no longer involved. Women (at least at work) hunt in packs. Now with all this positive attention I’m a little scared of pissing off the “collective” woman. Women in these situations seem to have most of the power.

on discovery channel or some other type deal I was watching how the bonobo monkeys are matriarcial (damn I can’t spell gahhrhrr), and the possible reason for this was because there was an abundant food supply where they lived, so the females could get together and form social bonds instead of hunting for food all day long and then having to compete for it to boot. So anyway the females formed strong bonds, then kinda ruled over the men, if a man was overly aggressive they wouldn’t give it up to him and what not also they would stick together in other ways (of which I forget now). RS your last post remineded me of that hehe…

RS, You say that the girl you had sex with at one point came to your aid even tho you two aren’t involved anymore. Could this be because you treated her with respect and she still respects you? Glad to hear all worked out.


wow karma that was a fucking awesome post!

Actually we held a grudge against each other but kept our personal lives out of work fairly well. Not completely though. Then I decided to forget about it and she decided to apologize for the suffering of our friendship. She did ask me what I thought about the whole thing. I decided to respectfully absolve everything by saying I did not want to talk about it but I did want to be friends. So we are close friends. She is also trying to kind of direct other women at me I think. Sounds weird huh? Every girl who talks to her a work she introduces to me and they all continue to talk to me. Every girl does that with me actually… I will meet one girl and she’ll introduce her friends etc. Then they all want to ingage me when they can. I’m not a super stud or anything yet so I don’t get outlandish attention. It is starting to get uncomfortable though when one of those women decides she is going to ask you to go to Las Vegas with her within a week. Yes, this is strange to me since I have never experianced it before. Not to mention this woman (I should say girl) asked me in front of the only woman in that place that gets my undivided attention. (and seems to not want it!) Yes I am interested in someone at work. We work for different companys in the same building so I consider it fair game. (try not to date coworkers) We also have the same social circle and I knew her before I started working there. She is not like any of the other women! I don’t impress her one bit yet I catch interested glances every now and again. She does not socialize with the other women so I get no help from them on it. She is very professional, very classy, and very attractive. Yet she is practically a hermit. I seem to not be able to open her up directly but I somehow always orchestrate events that she ends up being at. I think my positive attention is a detriment to me purseuing this one. I think she finds it annoying or somehow intimidating though she intimidates the hell out of me. Didn’t stop me from asking her out though. :slight_smile: That’s still pending…

I still say stop hanging out at those gay bars…they are really sensitive.

I still think she respects you. Just because you guys held a grudge for a bit doesn’t mean she doesn’t respect you. you both grew up, dropped the crap between you, and became friends. That type of maturity definatly builds respect from women! As for you’re getting all this attention, i think it’s because your a good guy. You treat everyone openly and friendly, and don’t play favorites (except with the one girl). As for her, she is probaly being stand-off=ish Because she is so professional. did you ask her out? if so be cool and see what happens. Good luck. La’ Redsol1

I believe you should confront the guy whom you believe started the rumors. You shouldn’t let the situation go any furnter, it could get much worse for you if you let the B.S. continue. Usually when people start saying things about others, they are jealous and when confronted they will “tuck tail” and shut up. So… put on your TESTOSTERONE shirt and set things straight!!