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What’s Your Take On Love?

I would say this is the weirdest thread for a bunch of meatheads… but some of y’all are weird :joy:

I’m curious to know how you define Love. The romantic kind, husband/wife stuff.

How do you know you love your significant other?

*I’m not married

I honestly don’t know for sure how to say I know I love her. I think things like saying I have 100% trust in her, I have so far always been able to count on her to do what she’s able to to help and support me, I enjoy being with her, etc. are all ways of saying I really like being in a relationship with her, because she checks all of my important boxes (and most of my little ones), but I don’t know how exactly you feel that you love someone.

Or rather, I don’t know how you articulate it, you know? Like I don’t look at my little siblings and think “I love them so much” but I’m super happy for the moments and laughs we share, and I’d be devastated if anything were to happen to them. As a Christian, I also very rarely feel like I love God, but that’s supposed to be one of the big things.

I feel like after a while you (at least I) stop actually thinking of the word “love” and it just turns into actions. Isn’t that what people say? I’ve been with my girlfriend for 4 1/2-ish years and honestly, saying “I love you” seems like more of a habit than a big statement because I just don’t think of it anymore. We just support each other and have fun together when we can. Once you can depend on a person to meet your needs and hopefully also have fun/sex sometimes too, you just keep up whatever it is you’re doing and do life.

Maybe I’m wrong. I’m young. Interested to hear in others’ opinions.

EDIT: And if you can’t find someone who gives you those feelings, then stay home and get involved with your parents. At least your muscle loss will be rewarded with sex.

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How do you know you’re in love?

When she says, “you’re in, Love”.

Boom, I’m here all week.

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I’ve read this twenty times and can’t figure it out.

I believe he’s reffering to This

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You take the time to understand things like the dish towel situation. Not because you think it will get you laid, but because you really want to understand it.

In here (:heart:). Not out there :bikini:.

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what is love

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“You just know” is my best answer lol.

I would say that you need to be emotionally and sexually attracted to them, and that you want to be around them, especially during bad days or going through hard times (this goes both ways). I.e. you want to be there for him/her to comfort them when shit hits the fan, and you can depend on them to do the same for you. And lastly, that you respect them, and they are your equal.

Isn’t it like a chemical reaction that slowly fades away like the first time you do crack or go paragliding

Na. That’s your motivation to live and you bank account after having children.

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I’ve probably written about this before, but I was told years ago that a healthy marriage - but it works for any long term relationship - is a triangle with three points: passionate love, companionate love, and committed love. He said that relationships can limp along on any two of these, and a good percentage do, and some even drag on with committed love only (these are the parents of kids who report wishing their parents had divorced because it’s so cold and completely unhappy). My observation is that this is a perfectly fine frame, though early on you have to distinguish between infatuation and an enduring passionate connection.

For myself it comes down to both liking and respecting someone I feel physically drawn to. They are solid, exhibit integrity, enjoy fun and irreverence, and are adventurous. It’s someone whose happiness I can prioritize as the same level I prioritize my own, and who is doing the same from his side. We each strongly desire that the other be happy at top levels, but not at our own expense.

I suppose if I have to choose one of the above thoughts to describe what love is, it would be that bolded bit.

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I really thought it would be a lot more dark magic type responses :joy:

Seems to be you find someone you enjoy and put forth the effort to make it work. Maybe the shit you see in movies and in books isn’t real

You can absolutely fall in love with somebody, head over heels.

Staying with somebody takes a concerted effort on both people’s parts to make compromises and do nice things for each other without the expectation of reciprocation. No matter how hard you fell in love, you can lose it if even just one person isn’t putting in the effort. It’s both.

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This is gold, Emily - especially those last 6 words.

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It’s fake.

So is all the cutesy stuff about babies. Until they’re at least 4 it’s just a Neverending freight train of explosive bodily functions and screaming.

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I often wonder how many people end up marrying the person they felt the most intense love for?

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This is a mindfuck of a question, but a great one. Problem is, most people would lie if you asked them. There are also a lot of factors- age being a pivotal one, in that we often feel the most intense love when we’re young- but how much of it is love and how much of it is hormones and infatuation?

LOVE is when you’re you’re willing to the toilet seat down…every time.

Turns out I love a lot of people…