T Nation

What Noise Does an Elephant Make?

So, a duck makes a sound that’s near enough “Quack”, a dog “Woof”, a cat “Meeooowww” - fair enough.

But what noise does an elephant make?

*Yes - I’ve had a good night. Yes it’s late. Yes I’ve had a lot to drink. Yes the ladies were hot. Yes - one in particular.

PPPPHHHHHHHHHHWWWWOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRPPPPPP Doesn’t really describe it for me.

They trumpet.

[quote]Renton wrote:
PPPPHHHHHHHHHHWWWWOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRPPPPPP Doesn’t really describe it for me.[/quote]

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

You learn something new every day. I never knew it was called a trumpet.

I suppose you can use this as a conversation starter.

Real question is: “What sound does a giraffe make?”

Let that marinate for a few minutes.

[quote]WolBarret wrote:
Real question is: “What sound does a giraffe make?”

Let that marinate for a few minutes.[/quote]

I thought for the most part, giraffes didn’t make sounds that human ears can detect.

Q. Why do elephants have four feet?
A. Because lady elephants have big twats.

Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep.

Q: Why do elephants have long trunks?
A: Because sheep don’t have strings.

Q: What do elephants use for condoms?
A: Snakes.

Q: What do elephants use for vibrators?
A: Epileptic pigmies.

Q: How do you know when an elephant has its period?
A: There is a quarter on your dresser and your mattress is missing.

Q: What is an elephant’s sex organ?
A: His foot… If he steps on you you’re FUCKED!

[quote]AngryVader wrote:
WolBarret wrote:
Real question is: “What sound does a giraffe make?”

Let that marinate for a few minutes.

I thought for the most part, giraffes didn’t make sounds that human ears can detect.[/quote]

…Ok.

What sound does a dead Sith lord make? Give up?

Ask Darth Vader at the end of Return of the Jedi.

I have no memory of starting this thread.

[quote]Renton wrote:
I have no memory of starting this thread.[/quote]

LMAO, and yet your spelling and grammar was still better than many who post here.

Let’s turn this into something relevant then and you can tell us about your night.

[quote]rsg wrote:
Renton wrote:
I have no memory of starting this thread.

LMAO, and yet your spelling and grammar was still better than many who post here.

Let’s turn this into something relevant then and you can tell us about your night.[/quote]

Lol - I see no reason for bad spelling and grammar even when drunk.

My evening - what a great night - although not a usual Renton Friday night.

I met some friends for a drink - including the rather gorgeous Donna who I’d met really just once before. Just a general fun night - not getting drunk but just talking and laughing. Donna & I jumped ship early and picked up some Indian food on the way back to hers.

When we’d finally fought off her dogs we settled down to our feed. We talked - I could see she looks after herself but she pleased me no end when she told me about her workout - lots of free weights and quite reasonable numbers for her size.

Turns out she is studying sports massage and working towards being a personal trainer. She’s extremely focused and intelligent.

We talked and just cuddled on the settee and had a great time. We have huge amounts in common.

Either one of us could have stepped up the game and started getting physical - the attraction was blatant. We decided not to though - it would have taken the emphasis from the great night we’d had. Told you it wasn’t a usual Renton night!

Normally any girl I get alone for more than five minutes ends up naked with her ankles behind her ears but there we were, three hours after getting back to hers, still fully clothed!!!

It’s looking distinctly like I too will be window shopping when I get down to London for a night out mate.

Speaking of which - How about the end of September? I happen to know we will be graced by the presence of another of the regular posters round here at that time - All the way from the USA. Reckons he can put the drink away too. I suspect he won’t last past 10pm.

Another excellent conversation starter is the proper name for a flock of owls.

A parliament of owls!

I googled it, and all I came up with was “hoom-praa”, with no explanation of origin or language, but I thought that was pretty good.

By the way, a word written to represent a sound is “onomatopoeia”.

[quote]Renton wrote:
Speaking of which - How about the end of September? I happen to know we will be graced by the presence of another of the regular posters round here at that time - All the way from the USA. Reckons he can put the drink away too. I suspect he won’t last past 10pm.[/quote]

Very good - glad you’re getting close to someone again.

September sounds great, I’m guessing it’s that hairy wookie you’re talking about, right?

[quote]rsg wrote:
Renton wrote:
Speaking of which - How about the end of September? I happen to know we will be graced by the presence of another of the regular posters round here at that time - All the way from the USA. Reckons he can put the drink away too. I suspect he won’t last past 10pm.

Very good - glad you’re getting close to someone again.

September sounds great, I’m guessing it’s that hairy wookie you’re talking about, right?[/quote]

Cheers mate. She’s quite a bit awesome.

And yes, It’s that hairy assed (so I assume) wookie tosser who we will sell into slavery after getting him wankered out of his brain on real beer.

[quote]dragonmamma wrote:
By the way, a word written to represent a sound is “onomatopoeia”.[/quote]

THAT’S the word I was trying to remember!