T Nation

What is 'Cheating'?


#1

in a relationship, if a man brings home his full paycheck, is involved in the family emotionally, takes care of all things expected, yet has a relationship on the side, is that to be considered cheating?

if a man spends his paycheck on gambling, drinking and hobbies, leaves his family destitute monetarily and emotionally, yet does not have relationships on the side, is that to be considered cheating?

i am having a hard time figuring this out.

nowhere in the marriage vows is there a reference to remaining sexually faithful, just love,honor,cherish, sickness and in health, death do us part kinda stuff.

the unspoken marriage contract, at least in the west, does expect fidelity, but is that how it is supposed to be? Historically, there were liberties given to both sides in a relationship, maybe it's time revisit this experience?

anyway, i need your thoughts, cause i am either on to something here, or way off base, and discussing this relationship quandary with a bunch of weight lifting meat heads may clear this up.

thanks!


#2

As long as it's not an idiotic double-standard where whenever a woman cheats she's a whore/bitch/"insert creative word here" but for the man it's just him being a man.

Huh?


#3

Romantic emotional or physical intimacy with anyone other than your spouse is cheating and the end of the relationship for me. I'm not good with open relationships.


#4

My vows had a "forsaking all others" clause.


#5

'united with his wife and they will become one flesh' or something along those lines. But, it says become 'one flesh'


#6

This is how I feel, too.


#7

If someone is truly in doubt about what is or is not cheating, they should just ask their significant other. I'm sure they could clear up any confusion pretty quickly.


#8

Getting caught.


#9

I wouldn't call it cheating, but it would be another deal-breaker for me. It's also a betrayal.

Integrity and reasonable self-control, please. And I'll offer the same in return.


#10

You can't fully involve yourself emotionally in your marriage/family if you have something on the side. Your scenario is not realistic.


#11

In my opion - If you feel the need to hide something from your spouse / significant other then it is cheating.


#12

My question is, why agree to something you know you won't stick to?


#13

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.


#14

Going outside the boundaries agreed upon would be cheating, be it sexual or otherwise.

To "cheat" is a general term, you'd have to be more specific.


#15

Marriageroids!

By some standards using any aas in your marriage would be considered cheating, but some are more permissible about the issue than others. It goes back to the same old thing- Everybody loves the pro performance then act disappointed when they find out that there was some assistance.


#16

Full body curls...


#17

Marry a bi female, have threesomes so you both get to bang out. Problem solved.


#18

I have an ex-fiance I need you to call to patch things up for me.


#19

Yes

No

It's not complicated.


#20

okay,

is beating off to porn considered cheating then?

if not, why?