T Nation

What Does This Machine Do?

The thread about the Hammer Strength deadlift machine mad me curious. I’ve never seen one and can’t possibly imagine why you would want a machine to perform a deadlift or what such a device would look like. So I got to looking at some of their equipment on the web, where I found the “Zero”.

What is this thing? I hope this isn’t a deadlift machine or my face will be red. I can’t imagine what this thing is designed to do. It reminds me of a car wreck I saw once where a two ton truck hit a tractor with a hay rake.

Someone enlighten me!

Here’s the link to their site with the desription of this machine:

http://us.commercial.lifefitness.com/content.cfm/zero

Still don’t have a fucking clue… but

“Feet on the floor positioning promotes functional training”

Made me fucking laugh!

That looks… sorta like a deadlift machine might. I have never seen an actual DL machine. Seems like a perfectly good way to overcomplicate a simple exercise. I have no idea what the two little handles in the middle are for, or the apparent counterweight mechanism. I mean, if you want less resistance, load less weight right? I have to admit, i burst out laughing when I saw it.

-Fireplug

I’m surprised you guys don’t know what this is. It’s obviously a double nut sack twister with optional rectal stimulator machine.

Great for the toe nails.

I hate to say it but I have found it to be ok as far as machines go. The gym I used to work at had one. It was tough goin at this place to get females to come into the weight room from the aerobics studio, let alone get them on a platform! I found this machine was a good way to wean them off their pink dumbells and get the feel of what a heavy load was like without them freakin out too much.
However, at my new gym it’s all power racks so I’m a bit tougher on the women. ie. “If you can pick up a 5 year old kid, then you can deadlift that barbell!”

y’all ur dum!

thats It. mr garrison’s flamboyantly-homosexual-put-airlines-outa-business-hot-ass-gyration machine.

Well, the instructions are here: http://webpages.ursinus.edu/fitnesscenter/hammer_strength_equipment2.htm . I still don’t know what it’s for, but it sounds kinda like doing the exercise where you put a barbell in a corner and twist at the waist while holding the end of the bar at arms length (did that make sense?). Can anybody make sense of this?

Hammer Strength machines are nice because you load up real weight plates on them, and they let each arm work independently.

What this is? Not sure, but I think I saw someone riding one in an early John Travolta movie…

It’s one of those things that a really strong guy loads up and bends the f**king grips or handles so nobody else can ever use it productively again anyway.

We’ve got something simpler, but with bent handles, in the gym I go to.

It’s really good for keeping floor space occupied so gym members aren’t able to spontaneouly break out doing deadlifts, floor work or any lifts requiring substantial space.

Or, as vroom said, it’s a waste of money.

I’ve seen and tried the hammer strength deadlift, high pull and shrug, and seated shrug.

This picture certainly isn’t any of those.

I guess what’s good about the deadlift machine is that you won’t bang up your shins?

To me it looks like there are two places you can load plates, and the right side is loaded one way, and the left side the other way. The right side looks like it is loaded for lifting upwards, and the left looks like it is loaded for pulling downward.

Maybe it is some sort of combination upright row and pulldown machine?

Certain the name “zero” only describes the number of clues they give us.

This has got to be the gayest machine ever made. From the instructions somebody posted, it looks like you stand sideways to the machine, grab the handle thingy that’s sticking out in a close-mixed-grip deadlift grip, give it a tug like a high pull, and then turn at the top of the pull to face the machine while you extend your hands over your head. So it’s like a clean and jerk with a 90 degree turn in the middle.

I have an idea:

IF YOU WANT TO DO A CLEAN AND JERK, DO A CLEAN AND JERK!! Somewhere, there is a Hammerstrength executive who needs his ass kicked. Thank you for making and selling a complete pile of crap. The only reason this model makes your company any money is because the health club people you sell this thing to are just as retarded as you are!

Thanks, guys… I feel better now.