T Nation

What can I do?


#1

What can I do? I have know a girl from about 6-7 years ago (time i have seen her on and off). I have always admire her (she likes to train, has a great body and personality and we get along real good) and could even say that she is the best girl i have know in my life (I?m 30). The problem is that she always had a boyfriend and now a family with 2 little kids. I never told her something because i see that her relationship was good, but lately things haven?t been going well with him (about 8 months). In this time a have the guts to tell her that I have always like her. Her answer was that she thought a was a good guy and that she couldn?t accepted me but also couldn't reject me (I go to left her to college, we talk by phone, I give presents to her and she accepts them, she also accepts all the cute things a say to her , etc..)In a nutshell she doesn't stops me.
The other problem is that I have my girl (from about 2 years)and she is real good to me, but I can't feel with her what I feel with the other one, I even have lie to her just to see the other girl.
In conclusion I have a mess in my head, because in one side I know that I like more the other girl... but I can't have her... and in the other side I think that I have to be loyal to my girl because she is good to me and I can be with her always because with the other one things are unpredictable..
Well what do you think of this situation?


#2

"Her answer was that she thought a was a good guy and that she couldn?t accepted me but also couldn't reject me "

You answered your own question, girl that you really want doesn't want you.


#3

What you can do is back off...

IMO opinion it doesn't look like you can do much; you mention that she now has a BF & 2 litle girls... Don't mess things up with what she has and what you have got... People go through this all the time and it tears you up inside that you cannot be with who you feel is your "best match". She has kids to raise and your moment before passed and now you're thinking you can get in there.
I am worried by her accepting what you give her (presents & whatnot) and your "lying" to your current girlfriend
just to talk or see her.

Dude, please. Be a man to the woman you are with and rekindle the flame that brought you together in the first place.

Stop thinking with your dick. Every guy (myself included) sometimes lets the little guy do too much of the thinking for us. The ramifications of these actions are sometimes irreparable and the shit stinks forever.

She's trouble if she comes to you when she already has a man and keeps you on the periphery. You're just gonna be the fool when it all blows up in your face. From what I can infer both your relationships (hers & yours) need some serious introspection and commitment. Work on what you've got as oppposed to what you want. Sounds like the woman you have loves you more than you deserve. God luck and I hope this helps you in the long run.


#4

Dude, whatever you do DON'T write her a love note. If it is as hard to make sense of as your above post then she might think it's a recipe for chicken vindaloo. :wink:


#5

Sorry to be blunt: you are a wussy and acting like a love-struck teenager. If you are a teenager or early 20s, don't worry, that's more or less normal. And yes, I've been there, so I know where you are coming from.
Do NOT tell this woman what you are feeling, she knows it and has known it prob from the beginning. She is acting like many women who enjoy having men running around them, doing favors for them, buying them things and, basically, feeding her ego.
Meanwhile she is fucking an asshole/jerk and having his children.
My advice: move the hell on w/ your life and forget about her: there is almost no chance of you ever getting together with her-and its probably not worth it either.

And stop being a pussy: check out David DeAngelo's Double Your Dating for info on how to stop being a pussy w/ women.
If you don't like his material, then check out another dating guru, Ross Jeffries.
Good luck and stop obsessing, there are literally over 2.8 billion women on this planet....aNd you already have a GF, right?
If she's a good person, be happy she is wih you and not another asshole!


#6

Yeah, this isnt behavior thats acceptable for a 30 yr old guy.
Stop being a pussy and giving her gifts. Whats in it for you?
WHy would you be interested in a chick that has 2 kids AND a fukkin boyfriend?
If this chick was a 10 in looks, having 2 kids drops her down to a 7 in my book.
If youre tired of your current girlfriend then dump her and find a new girl that doesnt have kids or a boyfriend.
I want to tell the guy that suggested you read a book on how to be a man, that he's wrong but when I read posts like this it becomes painfully obvious that some guys actually need a "dating guru" to tell them how to have balls and thats just sad. Sorry to be so blunt but it needed to be said.


#7

Bail out pronto, amigo.


#8

I don't know frontfacelock, I have pretty big grapefruits! But, when it comes to women I have found myself acting like a wussy in the past. Ditto for all my friends, even the studs who've banged many more women than I have. I would presume almost every man has at some point acted like a "wussy" w/ a woman.
2 of my close friends right now are acting like wussies, not in the sense that they're not manly or tough but because they are being used for money or they are spending WAY too much money on a girl.

Of course, there's many definitions of 'wussy': you're probably thinking of someone who doesn't have the balls to approach women, which definitely apllies to Champion1.

And BTW, those books/videos should be required for every man; every man that wants to shag more women that is. Don't criticize it 'til you read it or see it.

Simply the best,
Sonny S.


#9

'Well what do you think of this situation?'

Your problem is not your situation but your character. You know what you need to do, but refuse to do it. You don't show much moral fiber, integrity, honor, and especially guts to do what you need to do.

1) You're acting almost like a stalker. Ever seen 'Malcolm in the middle', the fat guy who insists on giving Malcolm's mother gifts? Right now, that's you.
Trust me when I say knock it off. For your own sake.

2) You're insisting on pursuing someone who has a boyfriend. Yes, they're having some conflict in their relationship, but what relationship doesn't? Name me ONE relationship who never has ANY trouble.
This shows how much you need to grow up. It almost seems you've been waiting and hoping for the day she'd break up.

3) You're showing what kind of man you are. You say you have a great girlfriend, and how you feel you need to treat her right. Then you go on about how much you like this girl and how you stalk her with your gifts.
NEWSFLASH: when someone cheats on someone, they find themselves in the same boat. Think your girlfriend deservesthe best? Well, guess what big man - YOU are the ONLY person on this planet who can make sure she gets it. Why? Because YOU are her fucking man. Not much of one either but I digress. Are you waiting for someone to tell you it's ok to cheat on her? It's not gonna happen.

4) Your chances of winding up with this chick are negligible. Laughable even. Take it for what it is, but if you have a hint of honor and integrity in you, stop chasing this chick around like a cat in the spring.

Sometimes the only way to straighten up is with some tough love. It sucks, but it's the way things are, and the faster you learn this (you shouldve learned this by now) the better off you'll be.


#10

Sounds like you are her sugar daddy, you give her stuff and you dont get shit in return! Get you head out of your but and realize what she is doing to you.

Mitch Green


#11

What can you do? You can be a man and not sneak around on your "great girl" that you have now. She does not deserve you telling her lies so you can go hang out and give presents to the other girl!! This post pisses me off because honestly if you can't see the signs of this NEVER working,but are still willing to sneak around on a great girl then you are crazy!!