A woman at work is always nagging me to change my lifestyle with regards to indulging and going out more.
I’m never going to meet a man , she says .
I get up at 330 to lift, I’m tired, i say .
Quit powerlifting, she replies
No, and right now my powerlifting relationship is far healthier than any relationship I could have with a man.
She also tells me to indulge . Just have a cookie why do you deprive yourself?
… did I say I was deprived?
How do I respond to a heavy set person that I don’t want cookies because I don’t want to be a heavy set person.
Also, a vegan in the room also tells me that while she cant have the cookies , I should.
This person is recovering from an eating disorder , but is clearly using veganism to still have an unhealthy control over food. So why is me measuring chicken to keep tabs on my calories and protein disordered , but cutting out hundreds of things to be a vegan is now considered normal, and not only that, but respectable in the eyes of some ?
These things annoy me , but I can never say anything.
I dont want a cookie
I don’t want to go out at night, I hate drinking and I dont want a man.
And I sure as hell dont want to quit powerlifting.
Oh also, I do not like how my dedication and commitment seems to threaten others to the point where they try to put a negative spin on me being healthy and ambitious with regards to my lifting goals.
This is just the way some idiots work. They are clearly jealous of you and your strength/motivation/physique and that you’ve achieved what they cannot achieve. They want you to have a cookie, because they will feel better about themselves if someone living a healthier life than them follows there path.
I love to read about your journey through life and especially that you life at the moment is awesome.
We all have that look when we say no to cake or a beer or going out because our sport is what we care about at the moment.
I would try to tell them that you love your life at the moment.
That your passion at the moment is your sport.
That your other passion is your child.
That you don’t want to be in a relationship right now.
I wouldn’t hesitate to tell them that you eat cake from time to time, but that you don’t like cake that much and that you would prefer an apple.
I would tell them straight out that you don’t drink alcohol.
What they do whether it is eating to much or only veggies doesn’t matter, it’s their way of life and how they want to live it is their adult choice. Don’t mention it, it’s not worth the discussion.
Keep smiling and just eat an apple and tell them that you’re going to be with your child later
Actually, I would like to make friends as I socialize with zero people my age, and the company has tons of introduce yourself and new hire boards , and tell us about yourselves segments that I wanted to be a part of. I had no idea that talking about things I loved as others did would result in this woman disliking my lifestyle and nagging at me every opportune moment.
Most people only care about themselves and the number of people you can trust to be “friends” at work are few and far between. Those kind of work relationships are best developed cautiously and very slowly. I like you wish the world was a friendly place where everyone had each other’s best interest in mind, but most people only want to bring you down to their level so they can feel good about them, not do what’s best for you.
Being amazing is often a lonely place…and you are amazing!
With the two who are nagging you, turn the conversation from you to them. I’m not saying attack them; rather, brush off their negativity with a simple “no thanks, I’m really full” or “my son and I have a pretty dope schedule right now and I’m focusing on his develoment at this crucial stage in life.” Then turn the conversation to them - ask the vegan woman something about being a vegan, ask the heavy-set woman something about her liking to go out, then move on.
In my experience, people who nag at your boundaries and try to force theirs on you don’t like talking about themselves too much. After a couple polite conversations about them, they’ll probably start avoiding you, freeing you to talk to others while showing you’re polite and take an interest in other people.
True. And you should only care about yourself as well, and primarily your relationship to yourself, When you’re cool with that, then love everybody with compassion cause they are more fucked up than you and need you to love them.
This is true. However, if you can, love everyone with compassion so you can raise them up. If you raise them up, you raise yourself up - the other person is you,
Brilliant. Coaching is about asking questions that lead others to a conclusion that you have already reached.
Respectfully disagree. If you begin asking them questions that lead them to the conclusion that they are fat because they hate themselves, and help them see it, and how to resolve it, they will start seeking you out.
Might be a bad thing.
Be a light house. You are way ahead of them on the path, show them the way through asking questions.
Youre assuming a motive for the questions that I did not intend.
My advice to ask questions about the co-workers wasn’t to lead them to some hidden, predetermined answer but because I’ve observed that boundary-crossers like to get all up in others’ biznass but tend to stray away when simply asked about themselves. Either that or they get really excited to talk about their interests.
Either way, it reframes the interaction from them subtly attacking Spock to everyone interacting on a level conversational field.
When questions are asked with passive-aggressive motives then yes, you’re right. But as I said above that’s not the motives for the questions, which necessitates different types of questions asked with a different attitude.
I meant no shade at all with my response and respect your points.
I meant to use it as an example, not assuming a motive at all, I’m sorry if you took it that way.
Yep, I get this. However, lol, if you want to raise others up, think about what is fucked up about them and how your questions might guide them to answers about themselves.
To me, this is about seeing the other person as you.
For example, did you feel like I was attacking you, or undermining your credibility? If so, why? Was it about you or was it about Spock?
Those are all open ended questions that may lead you down a different path.
Or not. You might still conclude I am a dick (and I sort of am, sorry))
So this is another take for you. What if they weren’t attacking Spock? What if they were just pieces of shit dealing with their own fucked up life?
That’s story. Their story. Your story is they are attacking Jenn. What if Jenn recast that story as them just being fat pigs that hate her for being jacked?
Or if Jenn just recast their story as being moms that want to nurture her?
Or if Jenn recast their story as abused children that eat to protect themselves and just want her to protect herself by eating.
We always assume the worst story - in this case the cookie monsters attacking Spock. We assume the worst story because we disrespect ourselves. If we can get out of our head, and make it not about us, it makes life much mo betta.
I truly hope I don’t sound like an ass, and I greatly appreciate your contribution, but I hope I made my somewhat nebulous point.
Now that I am not depressed I find I am getting very OCD and i don’t really know how to stop and chill out.
It’s stupid but getting benefits really triggered my mind into like obsessive MAXIMIZE BENEFITS mode and I have way too much stuff booked and zero time to relax.
My busy day brag :
2 hour workout
work lunches made
2 batches of crock pot oatmeal for the week
walk with mom
windexed all the things
took out garbage, which seems small, but it actually takes me like two hours because it means I put stuff thats almost empty into full things and get rid of containers
i also like randomly change batteries and just generally re fill everything even if it isn’t nessessary
i’m losin my marbs and I’m manic and i want it to stooooooooooooop
135lbs x 10
150lbs x 10
160lbs x 2 sets of 10
145lbs x 7
165lbs x 7
paused bench press
100lbs x 4
110lbs x 2 sets of 2
barbell split squats
75lbs x 6
80lbs x 6
90lbs x 6
reverse grip D handle tri ext.
10lbs x 2 x 10
5lbs x 12
15lbs x 2 x 10
5lbs x 15
jesus i dont know 3 sets of drop or something
db lateral raises
10lbs x 25
7.5lbs x 20
5lbs x 20
bent over rear delt DB fly
5lbs x 35
40lbs x 3 x 8
20lbs x 8
stepmill intervals x 20 min
well, then 8 hours of non -stop moving and hyperventialiting and trying to accomplish everything under the sun
Also weird, after my pedicure i forgot how to drive
i just sat there like
oh no , which pedal is which
i think its beccause of waking up before 3 and doing massive amounts of disodering …
Being manic is a weird thing , like you’ve got so much energy and so many crazy ideas and take on so much shit , but that doesn’t turn you into a super hero. You don’t sleep very much, and you know deep down you’re exhausted and just wish so badly you could stop and chill the fuck out but it’s impossible . It’s also weird in the sense that you make bad decisions so that you can have something to hate yourself for when your in the depressed phase , but you don’t feel the guilt or remorse until the manic passes.
anyway w/e just rambling i guess
135lbs x 5
155lbs x 3
175lbs x 3
185lbs x 2 x 3
70lbs x 6
80lbs x 2 x 6
70lbs x 6
Seated db press
30lbs x 8
35lbs x 2 x 6
230lbs x 8
155lbs x 8
125lbs x 10
45lbs x 15
Db lateral raises
17.5lbs x 15
7.5lbs x 15
Rear delt db fly
7.5lbs x 20
K so I intended to do military press 95 x 1 as I have done 90 x 3 and 85 x 5 but I missed 90 x 1 so changed my mind and did another option that I had previously considered.
I feel like military press is one of those lifts where I’ll simply stall at and it will take months before I could add a rep or I’ll even go backwards . I’ve never in my life been able to strongly push 95lbs over my head for a single . Everything before 90 is fine , but then bam , it feels darn near impossible.
I think I need to strategize how to include this lift knowing it can be volumized but progression will be minimal. Its not the most important lift in the world, but I’d like to at least be somewhat fun for me to do. Not sure yet, but I’ll sort something out for next week. I was mostly upset because I wasted time intending to build to 95, but then had to go back and do 6’s and time is something I have none of right now. Maybe in feb when I’m work from home I’ll bring out my fractional plates and build up military that way, but right now it needn’t be fussed over .
Today was gGGggGreat
95lbs x 3 I could already tell from this set it would be a bomb ass day lol
115lbs x 3
130lbs x 3
140lbs x 3 pretty easy !
125lbs x 2 x 3
105lbs x 3 x 9 easy also
100lbs x 6
Incline db press w pause
32.5lbs x 2 x 10
Db tri ext 7.5lbs x 20 thrown in there
Step mill intervals x 10
125lbs x 25
95lbs x 25
or some shit idk
For leg spreader I usually just do whatever weight the person before he had it set on. Makes it a fun lil game .
I decided for military press to take weight off , increase volume and keep rest period very short. I will use it as a shoulder builder rather than a military press strength builder because bigger shoulders equals bigger bench too. Then in two months when I’m back at the weights I’m leaving now, I’ll be work from home and can add fractional plates and lengthen rest periods. There perfect.
Is that Tony with a stutter? Just messing around, don’t hate me, way to get em tiger, lol. Glad you’re having a kick ass day chica. I’m ‘bout to crush some drop sets after watching pumping iron for probably the 8th time, chat at you later.