Not exciting update : doc called and said labs were in . There were some things flagged and I needed to go back .
I knew it !!! Iiiii knew I wasnt only crazy because I’m crazy but also because I have wonky shit.
Anyway apt tomorrow!
Rest day today
BYE
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Sounds like you might start getting some long-needed answers and direction. Good luck at the appointment!
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Hope things gets sorted out Jenn. good luck
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We’re only crazy in the best ways.
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Hey guys, thanks for the love and the concern.
Workout first
Squats
95lbs x 7
135lbs x 7
155lbs x 7
165lbs x 2 sets of 7
PIN squats
155lbs x 4
170lbs x 4
paused bench press
95lbs x 5
105lbs x 5
110lbs x 4
100lbs x 2 sets of 4 5hrlong pauses
DB split squats
17.5lbs
x 3 sets of 10
seated DB press
30lbs
x 2 x 10
x 8
leg ext
30lbs
x 12
x 10
x 8
stepmill intervals x 20 minutes
WT: 125.6 or some terrifying water retentiony shIT
Anyway so DOC news/life news ETC.
My thyroid is low
Also my calcium is extremely low
But my thyroid is especially low
I have to go back for more blood work
Could easily explain my excessive brain fog and feeling like I have no idea what’s going on half the time.
I always blamed anxiety for that , but maybe me having no idea what’s going on gives me anxiety W/E
Maybe if i get more tests done it will be back up in the normal range, but it’s not right now. And it probably wasn’t on the day i walked out of work because I honestly had no idea what planet I was even on that day .
I also always blamed the extremely early mornings, but sometimes I got scared driving home from work because I felt like I didn’t know what was going on.
I also get very very VERY painfully tired
Once again i blamed squats and anxiety
EITHER way i am jumping the gun it’s no guarantee I have anything until multiple tests confirm it.
it’s also not the biggest deal in the world… I will assume maybe this is also the cause for the fucked up periods etc. I dont know much about it TBH .
Oh but life news, I got accepted into the winter term for the Educational assistant program, and I have a job interview to be a noon supervisor at an elementary school. Like no hours, but I would literally be on a contact with a public school system and once I am going to school it will be PERF. I’ll also be able to squeeze in a lot of little extra ASL things so that hopefully when it’s all said and done this can be in one neat and tidy package to work at the early intervention program in the Deaf School.
Time will tell
BYE
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The above and all the hormonal symptoms and anxiety.
Sorry to hear about all the health stuff going on. It looks like you’re on the right track to getting some answers that might explain why you’ve felt so terrible, off your game.
Thinking of you, and wishing you well. Hope you’re feeling better soon.
Puff
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Spock - you’re a powerful, wonderful woman, and I believe now that you’re feeling into that, shitz is gonna happen for you.
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Not only that but you never really can tell what other peoples lives are like inside. In my 20’s I had a career in advertising. I made great money and was moving up. I hated every minute of it and felt trapped. I was exhausted by the work and by how much I hated it. I was too tired and trapped feeling to look anywhere else or change what I was doing.
On the surface, to someone else it all looked great, good money, trusted position, lots of perks; parties, tickets to events but it sucked my soul dry.
My point is don’t let what you perceive to be the success of others make you feel like you should be doing anything.
Plus I hope you feel better 
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Did they test TSH for your thyroid? If so what was the number?
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The low thyroid explains a LOT of the crap you’ve been wading through - extreme fatigue, exteme brain fog, mood irregularities, trouble sleeping, and more. Finally, you’re gaining traction and forward momentum!
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I love this post, thanks!! I think that’s a great thing to point out. The whole concept of having your life “sorted out” is stupid because things aren’t promised to stay the same anyway.
Everything could be perfect at 25 and then bam you’re divorced at 40 and have to start everything over.
It’s always just an ongoing journey, it’s not like ok career and man = finished and now you’ve officially made it and never have to worry again.
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I don’t think it was anything too horrifying, i think it was like 4.8 or something if that makes any sense? He didnt let me look at it very long and doesn’t speak the best english, but i tried to absorb what I could.
Do you know anything about what the numbers mean?
YES, and Ill bet I have probably had this fluctuating and causing problems for a long time. When I was a teenager I had my blood work done because I wanted to be on accutane and my thyroid came back as low so they re tested and it was back within the normal range (just barely), but they never followed up or kept testing it.
Either way, I highly doubt ALL Of my issues are simply related to anxiety because I can usually tell the difference. I am fairly self-aware and try to pay a lot of attention to my thoughts and emotions because its important to me to work on my anxiety , but there are times when it’s literally not in my brain power to do so and I’ll believe that is more thyroid and hormonal.
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When your thyroid isn’t making enough hormones your pituitary gland (in your brain) tells your thyroid you need more. That is the TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone) number. The higher the number the more your brain is telling your thyroid to release.
4.00 is the highest normal range. That means it’s not releasing enough on its own.
Mine is .23 so my brain doesn’t have to tell it to release much more.
From what I have read you want the number to be around 1
I am new to this myself so don’t take anything I say to heart.
But I totally understand your anxiety! Apparently if doesn’t matter if it’s too much or too little… it makes a person crazy!
It can effect every process in your body, so keep on the doc till you get the answers!
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Is it weird I’m more excited to show you guys stuff than my real life friends? Lol . My son stays up later than I do and I can hear him playing fortnite with his friends so he’s been going in his closet to play. I decided to make him a little gaming closet LOL!
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You’ve lived in your body your whole life, so you know what “mere” anxiety feels like versus “anxiety-plus.” The thyroid is a sneaky thing that, when it’s malfunctioning, doesn’t release consistent amounts of hormones at regular intervals like it’s supposed to.
About accutane - did you take it as a teenager? A couple of my friends did… Just a coule years ago, I saw a news article that said accutane has been pulled from the shelves because it’s been positively correlated to multiple suicides. It turns out accutane destroyed people’s hormone levels and brain chemistry, and during the teen years when hormones are already messed up! The friends I thought were depressed felt as they did because of accutane. If you took it, it’s possible it also affected your hormones. As a side note, I also wonder if there’s a class-action lawsuit for people who’ve taken it. Perhaps that’s yet another thing worth looking into.
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You seem like a cool mom to me, I always stayed up later than my parents too. Nighthawk crew. Your boy must be into dinosaurs? I was as a kid too, absolutely loved Jurassic Park when it first came out. Is that an armadillo or an ankylosaurus pillow?
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I didn’t take accutane for very long. Part of the requirements of being on it was the blood work, but the second i started the medication a bunch of my results developed red flags and I was forced to go off it. I remember how devastated I was too. I went into my parents bedroom when nobody was around and stole a pill of it from out of their nightstand LOL. Like it was some kind of get high, street drug, I just hated my acne. Well, developed a hatred for it because everyone said I had a flesh eating disease etc…
But in hindsight I was probably pretty lucky by the sounds of things. Had I stayed on it longer than the two weeks I probably would have developed worse hormonal issues than I already have now.
I think me and my son are probably pretty equal with the dino love. I am absolutely obsessed with them. i watch all of the national geographic, educational crap, go to all of the world of sciencey type expo’s.
We have a place near us called Jurassic forrest with dino’s in the trees and whatnot, probably my favorite place to go. I always wanted to meet a paleontologist and make him my husband, i guess there’s still time…
I think it’s a poorly sewn t-rex, lOL
Well training then,
so i decided i am the worst deadlifter ever and my form makes me sick so i will not be deadlifting anymore, LOL .
All i really care about is squats and bench and i love doing those movements. It’s not like i compete so who cares really. Now all my focus will be for the movements that have stolen my heart and not the ones I resent and detest. YES I SAID It
ALso the hook grip makes my carpal tunnel worse. #excuses
Today
Front squats
95lbs x 3
115lbs x 3
belt
130lbs x 3
135lbs x 2 sets of 3
back off sets
120lbs x 2 sets of 3 (beltless)
I found my old pinoeer belt in my closet and I think i will use it for squats. It’s thin and doesn’t seem to dig into my rips or hips, and it’s not super wide etc, i think i could potentially get used to it even though I have a hard time with belts.
Bench press
100lbs x 6
110lbs x 6
115lbs x 6
tempo bench press
105lbs x 2 sets of 5
barbell split squats
60lbs
x 3 sets of 12
DB incline press w pause at bottom
30lbs
x 12
x 2 sets of 10
EZ bar cable tri ext.
30lbs x 15
35lbs x 15
25lbs x 20
stepmill intervals x 20 minutes
leg spreader
100lbs x 35
k pretty good
The addition of the belt didnt make me shart so it’s basically a win by that alone.
The real test will be back squats though
Has anyone ever loved someone so much their heart fluttering actually hurt a little bit?
Thats how I feel about Eminem.
The chest clenching OH MY GOD HOW IS HE SO CUTE AND CLEVER is happening on a daily basis while im on the stepmill.
Marshall… if you’re reading this, I have no money to offer, i can’t cook, i’m not very good in bed, but I think our crazies belong together . We are the same crazy.
Let’s hang
bye (his)
BYE (your guys’)