What Business is it of Yours Where I'm From, Friendo?

Training Logs
1427

Oh hi .

Kind of a shit week this week. Not really lifting wise, just life wise. Officially finished my training now and I’m having difficulty sleeping. My alarm is set for 4 and the first night was great, second night was like 330, then 3, then 245 and uhg… losing clarity . Saying weird shit to people or feeling like i am going to fall alseep standing in line at the bank etc. Even last night when i could finally sleep in i slept worse than a work day and now i have one day until i have to set my alarm for 3 for monday’s shift. D-yinggggggg. But i am sure lots of people have it way worse so i can’t really complain as much as I would enjoy .

It’s not really why the week was so bad, it was more just situations at work . EX. The girl training me has had a real hate-on for me since day one and criticizes everything about me. Like she hates that i have huge breakfasts and am not as hungry as she is during the day. She hates all my little quirks. She hates that i dont have many cheat meals. She hates the way i breath i assume. She used to be anorexic turned powerlifter like so many on here, but i still think she has a lot of emotional issues and something about the way i live my life or the way i look really bothers her. It made training hard , but i was always very patient and never once let go of my doormat status.
But she was always telling me to calm down when I wasnt even like worked up. EX. a messy pass situation happened and I asked if that happened often and she would be like OHHmyygod calm down.
I wasnt like OH MY GOD DOES THAT HAPPEN ALL THE TIME AHHHh
So my manager asks to chat with me and everything he said was negative. All he could talk about was how I was high strung and i need to calm down and shit i was thinking wtf? This is the calmest i’ve been in my whole life, i think it’s just my demeanor . I am a socially awkward person and I say weird things or i just describe my OCD life in a way that makes people think i’m wigging out, but I was just so happy to be there every day. It really seemed to come out of left field.

Put a damper on the weekend anyway. I thought I was doing really well. Now i feel like horse shit .

W/E

training news:

I am not really happy with upper/lower and I wanted to kind of do a bodybuilder split thing and i realized i would like to sort of do a 531 bodybuilder thing bascially
Sat : squats/legs/cardio
SUn : deads/back/bi/cardio
Mon: bench /chest tri/cardio
tues: Off
wed : Girly single leg glute shit /cardio
thurs : off
fri: military press/shoulders/ bi

I am honestly super excited. OH and to note my deaadlifts will be modified ed coan sumo-ish because that’s the only kind that doesn’t totally fuck with my hip so ya…

Today ;
OH x 2
my starting maxes are insanely light
165 sq
155 dl
105 bp
75 mp

k
squats
95lbs x 5
115lbs x 5
130lbs x 16

front squats SS bulgarian split squats
65lbs/15lbs
x 10/ x 10
x 10/ x 10
75lbs/15lbs
x 10/ x 10

smith machine front foot elevated reverse lunge SS smith machine courtesy lunge
x 8/ x8
x 8/ x 8
x 8/ x 8

single leg ext.
40lbs x 8
50lbs x 8
20lbs x 8 w/long pause

leg spreader
drop sets
115lbs x 8
85lbs x 8
55lbs x something and a bunch of partials idk

ropey cable pull through
30lbs x 12
35lbs x 12
42.7lbs x 12

DB plie sq SS side bench set up
35lbs
x 10/ x 10
x 10/ x 10

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

WT: 127!!!
holy shizzam
at this rate ill be at 125 in a week, LOLz

k w/e
BYE

6 Likes
1428

K part deux of yesterday update :

I found out the manager wanted to let me go as he asked the evening girl before our little negative meeting if she would be interested in my position and she declined. So that’s fucking great now I have to wonder every shift if I am going to get canned. I HAVE LITERALLY DONE NOTHING WRONG FJDHDJVIUFDETTSFKGJCU

Fuck my life
K
BYE

2 Likes
1429

Go talk to the manager…

1430

I will but it’s like why the hell do I say ? Hey so you clearly don’t like me and want to replace me before I’ve even began ?
My high strungness perhaps only came from the fact that I was being trained in a very hostile work environment by someone who degraded me and humiliated me in front of staff and clients on a daily basis . But I could never bad mouth her because she has been there longer than the manager and the manager often takes orders from her so he’s scared of her too.

Wtf this sucks . Doesn’t seem to matter what I do or how hard I try or how positive I act things get turned to shit . Like if I get let go the look on my son’s face will devastate my soul

1431

Sounds like the girl is putting bad stuff in his head about you. Yeah you need to talk to him about her actions creating a hostile work environment.

And you can’t speak bad about her because it is in poor taste to exhibit such classless action in front of clients.

1 Like
1432

I know, I’m just worried it will back fire as she has like queen status there . She seriously runs the place so I’d worry it would make him like me even less. I dunno . This is super stressful :sob:

1433

It already sucks the life out of you…it will make or break your experience with the job. Get your resume ready…:joy:

1 Like
1434

Don’t worry about stuff until it happens. It is a waste of energy, and is obviously upsetting you. You never know what the future holds.

2 Likes
1435

I know, but this job was the best thing to happen to me in years . I put so much planning and organising into simplifying my life and reducing stress so that I could excel at this position and to think that the manager wanted to get rid of me fresh out of training because of my anxiety makes me fucking hate myself

1436

The manager and that chick are just being fuckwits. You’re a lovely lady and they don’t deserve for you to work there. If you do get let go which we’re all hoping you don’t, just remember you’re the better person.

4 Likes
1437

Thanks for saying that I really appreciate it.

I know in my heart I’ve really put my best face forward this whole month, so I just really need to keep that in mind

2 Likes
1438

How she feels about you is HER PROBLEM! NOT YOUR’S!! Don’t live you life controlled by what you think other people think of you. You are giving her so much power by letting her change how you feel about yourself.
Other people’s opinions DON’T FUCKING MATTER! Love yourself, and don’t worry about others. Honestly, your life will be so much easier!

5 Likes
1439

You tell him how much you have enjoyed your time on the job thus far, how grateful you are for the opportunity, and how excited you are at the prospect of working there as a career. You ask him for feedback regarding anything he has observed thus far that could help you be a better employee. You eagerly accept any and all feedback he provides by saying ‘Thank you, that’s very helpful!’ You pledge to act on his feedback immediately, and tell him you plan to follow-up with him to make sure your work performance is improving.

Everything that comes out of your mouth is said with a smile, and with zero defensiveness. You never mention problems/conflicts with any other employee. You never share an opinion that anyone has a negative agenda regarding you. You are simply a happy, enthusiastic employee looking to better herself.

14 Likes
1440

thanks for listening to me wig out guys :slight_smile:

On Saturday when i couldn’t sleep i sent a really well-written email basically saying maybe i came across as high strung but it was only because i care about my role so much and my part in ensuring that the club is kept up to its high standards, etc…etc…
Hopefully, when it reads it on monday this will all blow over . It’s just the waiting to go to work that’s killing me.
Also the zero sleep thing is probably affecting my rationality.

Anyway, today’s workout

“sumo” *deadlifts" I put it in quotes because my form would get “wtf-ed” . High hips, conventional looking, but with a sumo-ish stance.
It doesn’t hurt so it’s better than not being able to do it at all.

95lbs x 5
110lbs x 5
125lbs x 18, this could have easily been like 50 reps , but like, why …?

straight arm pull down SS lat pull down
x 10/ x 12
x 10 / x 12
x 10 + 1 drop x 10/ x 10 + 1 drop x ah…
fuck it i did a shit ton of back stuff and cardio ///// \\ workout

BYE

4 Likes
1441

Hey Jenn sorry to hear what’s going on.
Can’t say much that hasn’t been said.
What @EyeDentist said is really great stuff.
So be very positive when you talk to the manager and tell him you’re really happy about the place and the peeps you work with.
I’ll sit here on the other side of the pond and keep my fingers crossed for you.

3 Likes
1442

This x1000

I’m waaay too young to do the job I have, compared to everyone in my field. I’ve staved off criticism by always asking two questions: 1. “Is there anything I’m not doing that I should be?” and, 2. “Is there anything I can do better?”

It forces people to actually realize they have no ‘real’ issue with you, or, it removes the fear they have for confrontation by asking for their feedback. It’s very disarming.

7 Likes
1443

Heeyyyyyyy
Y

I think things have settled down a bit now. The manager and I talked and he flat out asked me if I got along with the girl training me and I told him the truth basically. Now I think he realizes my high strung attitude was more stemming from her because today I was alone and I was in great spirits all day.
But most of the staff is young so this might be the gossip for the next 5 days , hopefully after that I’ll be free .

I feel asleep at 7 last night so even though I was up at 3 i didn’t feel too awful
Had my first bench day in 9 months so the weakness was humbling to say the least

Bench
65lbs x 5
75lbs x 5
85lbs x 15
Srsly I benched 117lbs for like 17 at my peak
But w/e I had some serious vascular shit today that I haven’t seen since I was 120lbs so ya can’t have it both ways

40 minutes of pec and rear delt shit
Step mill intervals x 15

Rest tomorrow
BYE

7 Likes
1444

Awesome great to hear Jenn.
How about becoming friend with the girl training you?
Ya know, tell her lets make a fresh start, Iets go to the cafe and get to know one another.
If you can’t beat them, join them.

1 Like
1445

Lol ya that would work if she wasn’t so young.
I think mature people would be more open to that, but her…not so much .

I really need to remember that I’m now working with fresh outta high school kids VS the 50 year old women I was working with at the bank. It’s a totally different ball game .
It doesn’t necessarily have to be worse , it’s just going to be different

2 Likes
1446

K Tuesday rest
Wed awesome leg accessory day lots of single leg shit and treadmill hill not sprints because that’s hard and I’m tired lololo
Thursday supposed to be rest day but it turns out I get 4 free training sessions as a perk of my job so one trainer is a competitive powelifter and I wanted her to teach me to pull sumo. She’s this 100lb tough as shit awesome human and by the end of it I somehow got her wanting to lift with me instead of train me haha!
But I suck at sumo and she and I agreed conventional is better for me even though it doesn’t look very bad ass…oh well… I tired. Over and over and overrr. Ef u sumo . Y u not want to be friends?!
Today military press
45lbs x 5
50lbs x 5
55lbs x 17
1hr shoulders

Squats tomorrow whoop

BYE

2 Likes