What Business is it of Yours Where I'm From, Friendo?

Wow. . . that’s a freaking huge week. Well done on the interview, well done on taking care of yourself, well done on the dieting.

Good job all around!

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thanks!

No, you’re right 100% with the being dragged down comment.

I didn’t mention this earlier, but he made my birthday totally shitty. He got bombed the night before and was a hung over wreck the entire day.
He had no energy, couldn’t keep his eyes open, kept napping, kept complaining . Just all around miserable to be around. I could have had more fun with my mom. Hell, I could have had more fun alone to be honest. Really dragged me down. I’m a very active lively person and we didn’t end up doing any of the fun things I wanted to do .

Oh ya, and 2 hrs of shoulder super sets and cardio today haha.

BYE

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It’s hard to admit negative things about your significant other even to yourself. When I’m in a relationship though I wouldn’t tell anyone annoying crap like the birthday. It would have bothered me a lot if my husband/boyfriend did it but I wouldn’t tell people about it either. I find when you start venting about your S.O. it starts a cycle of irritation that is self-fulfilling and spirals. No good comes from trashing your guy to your girl friends. When it’s over though, all bets are off but it’s still kind of a crappy feeling. Talking shit feels good at the time like eating a ton of sugar but you feel bad afterwards. I find the best remedy is what you’ve done, just leave.

Having said that, I also have expectations that adults in relationships should be bringing something to the party. At the very least, they shouldn’t be constantly tipping the scales in a negative way. We aren’t always on our best game but neither should anyone always be taking or sucking the life and resources out of the other person.

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thx for chiming in everyone. Cyber friends are the bestest :heart_eyes:

Had a really good, focused leg workout today so I think I can remember everything

PIN/Andersen squats SS two-DB squat

135lbs/15lbs
x 8/ x 10
145lbs/15lbs
x 8/ x 10
155lbs/15lbs
x 8/ x 10
165lbs/15lbs
x 8/ x 10

front foot elevated smith machine split squats SS One leg DB RDL SS banded goblet squats 1&1/2 reps

15lbs per side/25lbs/25lbs
x 10 * leg/ x 10 * leg/ x 10
x 10 * leg/ x 10 * leg/ x 10
x 10 * leg/ x 10 * leg/ x 10

seated leg curl w/pause reps SS seated leg curl w/normal reps

60lbs/50lbs
x 8/ x 12
x 8/ x 12
x 8/ x 12

ass machine SS ass machine partials
100lbs/80lbs
x 12 * ass/ x 12 * ass
x 10 * ass/ x 12 * ass
x 10 * ass/ x 15 * ass

cable ass kick back SS Kettlebell sumo DL

10lbs/ I have no idea how much it weighs

x 8 straight leg + 8 bent leg * ass/ x 12
x 8 straight + 8 bent * ass / x 12
x 8 straight + 8 bent * ass/ x 12

lying leg curl drop sets
50lbs x 6
40lbs x 6
30lbs x 8

step mill intervals x 20 minutes

and done

Everything including cardio and whatnot was done in like 1.5hrs prob a bit less. Kinda nice I can finish my whole workout before I used to reach my top set of squats :laughing:

Anyway, typical leg day for me.
A heavy important thing and then a million single leg super sets.

OH also had an exciting realization. With my left hip appearing drastically higher I discovered it’s my right side SIDE that’s tight making it scrunch up and almost pull the other side up…if that makes sense.
Ive been doing side bends over my stability ball just to stretch out the right and I can already see a difference in squats being more balanced. Or at least way less fucked up haha.
K
BEY
BYE

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Hip modility/flexibility is highly underrated. The personal trainer I hired for a couple of sessions really emphasized on it.

okay today’s

paused squats SS DB squats

135lbs/15lbs
x 5/ x 10
145lbs/15lbs
x 5/ x 10
155lbs/15lbs
x 5/ x 10
165lbs/15lbs
x 5/ x 10

paused squats SS goblet squats

175lbs/25lbs
x 3/ x 10
180lbs/25lbs
x 3/ x 10
185lbs/25lbs
x 3/ x 10

front squats

95lbs x 4
105lbs x 4
115lbs x 4
125lbs x 4
130lbs x 4

ass machine w/pause SS ass machine partials

100lbs/80lbs
x 10 * ass/ x 12 * ass
x 10 * ass/ x 15 * ass
x 10 * ass/ x 15 * ass

ass circuit
straight leg cable ass kick back SS single leg DB RDL SS kettlebell sumo DL SS ropey cable pull through

10lbs/20lbs/I dunno lbs/ 30lbs
x 10 * ass/ x 10 * leg/ x 10/ x 10
x 10 * ass/ x 10 * leg/ x 10/ x 10
x 10 * ass/ x 10 * leg/ x 10/ x 10
norest

front foot elevated smith machine split squats

10lbs per side x 10 * leg
15lbs per side x 10 * leg
20lbs per side x 10 * leg

seated leg curl

55lbs x 20
60lbs x 2 sets of 15

step mill intervals x 20 minutes

I guess that’s everything
and by that I mean that’s everything in the world and I just did it all and my legs are tired
:slight_smile:

weigh in today
137lbs down 6lbs all together

week 1 >>>> week 7

been a hard couple of weeks since we last spoke, lol

I didn’t get the job and started PMS-ing at the same time my relationship was ending and my brain basically exploded with overwhelming amounts of sadness and hopelessness.

Of course I tried to get back with him for some unknown reason. Every attempt my brain was like “I don’t actually want this, what are you doing?”

Just seemed better or easier in some strange way to be the rejected over the rejectee. Maybe because that’s all I’ve ever been, IDK.

I continually have to ask myself what is the key to getting over this person for good and moving on? You’ve been hearing about him for 4 years and it’s never really been good.
What’s the answer? There must be some magical solution.

Everyone says it’s just time
Some say it’s finding distractions or a new man
Neither of those has ever worked for me, and I will no longer delude myself into the notion that they will.
I believe the only way to put this behind me is to learn how to love myself.
Instead of trying to get over him I am going to focus on being kind to myself and accepting who I am.
because if I love myself then there’s no possible way I could ever actually go back to him
I know he cheated on me a lot. I could never openly say that before. I honestly don’t know if he was ever not cheating on me if I want to be really honest. He lived with his ex. He slept with us both . I know .
Lying about that wont help.
He used me and took me for granted
I know that too.
So knowing what I know and allowing it to continue while still claiming to love myself is a lie.
So there’s my honesty and my babble for the day .
Maybe it’s not so much about trying to abort the anxious episodes, but finding the route cause of them in the first place.
If I love myself then I can believe in my ability to handle things, thus eliminating the need for panic.
Altering my brain chemistry one day at a time, I suppose.

Thanks for existing T-nation , my dearest creative outlet.
:heart_eyes_cat:
BYE

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This made me think of you, lol.

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This!

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Yes!

Also, you’re a pretty awesome person (at least you were when I knew you personally) and sooner or later you’ll find the right someone as long as you realize that you shouldn’t ever settle because you’re worth more than that.

Hell. . . took me 35 years to find the right one. . .

Ps. if you promise not to rage quit every time I bingo we could scrabble again. . .

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Thx :blush:

And I can promise that I will try a reasonable amount to keep the promise…:relieved:

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The other thing I will point out with relationships is that sometimes a person can be awesome, and special, and amazing, and not the right one for you. Don’t settle but also don’t cling to the wrong awesome just because it’s awesome. You need the one that works for you.

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Wow spock! Your back is looking great.

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OK officially been 9 weeks of dieting , so it’s check-in time I reckon’

Start wt: 143lbs
Current : 135.6lbs !!
Down 7.4 lbs in 9 weeks !

Not too shabby for someone that was already working out 2 hrs a day and weighing all their food :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

Anyway, shit’s happening at slightly less of a snails pace now, so that’s exciting.

Had almost a perfect streak of amazing workouts last week, aside from stupid yesterday’s hip shifty mayhem, but its all good.
Rest day today and gonna go get adjusted etc…

HIP STAY IN PLACE WOULD YOU!!!

Life News:

I started a blog…

I basically spend all day and night dreaming of this imaginary scenario with I’m this award winning author who wrote a book about anxiety/ocd called “Lies my Brain Tells me”. WHICH later also turns into a screen play about the author (me) who’s anxiety is like this separate entity from herself which she can see and talk to.
Obviously she is the only one who can see it, but it’s like a slightly less put together version of herself and it’s always walking around with her and never leaves her side. We see it throughout various childhood scenarios and as she becomes an adult we see how this anxiety makes all these decisions and talks her out of stuff and how it impacts her life, etc.
Then they have this argument and anxiety says "Well I told you from day one I can turn into a horrible monster if you don’t take care of me! Don’t blame me because you were too lazy …"blah blah
So that’s when she decides to write
Anxiety formed when she was putting away her barbies and was all like “WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?!” with regards to a creative outlet
So what she’s writing is the book lies my brain tells me

I have no idea if this makes sense to anyone else other than me, LOL!
But my blog is like each chapter of my book.
I try to write 2 chapters a week.
My laptop like a damn keyboard I be jammin’ my story.

I have no followers and nobody cares, but that’s beside the point.
Maybe one lost, hopeless soul will stumble upon it and they will feel slightly less alone, IDK.

It’s thrilling for me to be writing it anyway, so that’s really all that matters,

Hip thrusts and hamstrings on the menu tomorrow
!!
BYE
:orange_heart:

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Oh man, something magical happen today friends! I “took back my workout”. Let me explain…

Well, my left arm is a huge piece of crap in that it always feels out of place, clicky, and overly tight. I get it worked on weekly, but it doesn’t really get better.
Anyway, started out shoulder day with my arm feeling super weird. It was like shakey for nothing and the other side was doing just fine. Then it started doing its clicky thing and my mind was starting do to that OCD , tossin’ away all my marbles thing < SOOOOOOOO!

I went to the bathroom and in the stall I told myself I was going to take back my workout.
I am erasing the past 30 minutes and starting over from scratch. I wasn’t just going to go redo the same shit, I was just going to act like I hadn’t begun any exercises yet, and put more focus and passion into it instead of frustration . Here’s what I did

One arm landmine press SS pinkies up DB lateral raises w/pause at top SS straight arm DB lateral raises

bar+5lbs/10lbs/5lbs
x 15* arm/ x 15/ x 15
x 15* arm/ x 15/ x 15
x 15* arm/ x 15/ x 15
x 15* arm/ x 15/ x 15

seated DB press SS Arnold press

20lbs/20lbs
x 10/ x 10
25lbs/15lbs
x 10/ x 10
30lbs/10lbs
x 10/ x 10
seated DB press
10lbs
x 10 partials from the top + 10 partials from the bottom + 10 full ROM

rear delt time

bent over rear delt DB fly w/palms facing inwards

5lbs x 30
7.5lbs x 30
10lbs x 30

cable rear delt fly

  • diff pin heights for each set

5lbs
x 15 * arm
x 20 * arm
x 25 * arm
x 20 * arm
x 15 * arm

facepulls w/pause

15lbs
x 12 + 12 (two different grips)
20lbs
x 10 + 10
25lbs
x 10 + 10
drop set
15lbs
x 10 + 10

incline plate rear delt fly

5lbs
x 30
x 40
x 50

chest supported row (grip to target rear delt)

40lbs
x 10
x 10
25lbs
x 10 I forget

DB lateral raise one arm iso holds while the other arm reps

7.5lbs
x 10 * arm + 10 both arm
x 10 * arm + 10 both arm
5lbs
x 25 both arms w/slow neg

plate raise

25lbs x 15
35lbs x 10
25lbs x 15

10 & 2 raises
rest/pause set

7.5lbs
x 12, 11, 10, 9, 8

DB bent arm lateral raise drop sets

10lbs x 15
7.5lbs x 15
5lbs x 30 I think I dunno any of this really to be honest

stepmill x 20 minutes

and
DONE

WEHWF
I have never been able to come back from the brink like that once I’ve gotten myself so worked up in my life!!

AND
a stranger shared one of my chapters from my blog!!
Maybe this book is my purpose in life IDK.

AND

I had my first cheat meal since August last night.
Gabe and I went to the sawmill to celebrate Eminem’s 45th birthday, LOL.
It was great. I don’t want to make the same mistakes I made last time I cut. No cheat meals, no rest days, cardio every day, blah.

I am starting to feel so much freer emotionally now that time has passed since my breakup. I no longer feel this intense sense of urgency to lose the weight ASAP and that I have to have a perfect physique. Slowly noticing my feelings of inadequacy are fading away.

Onwards!!

BYE

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Continue being awesome. That is all.

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Also, I read a great blog (8 chapters worth) on living with various mental health challenges today.

Sorry I used to be such a dick.

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I’m glad to hear you’re feeling good and things are going well.

I think about you when I wear my belt. Weird? Maybe but whatever :slight_smile:

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NOT WEIRD!! Would be much weirder if you didn’t think about me :stuck_out_tongue: I left my delightful scent all over it.

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