k kicked my whiney asss today, folks
Yesterday was rest day
I have a really nice 3in leather deadlift belt from pioneer belts that I’ve never used because it’s not IPF approved… I says to myself, I says, Jenn, you ain’t got no aspirations to compete, in anything. You don’t want to compete in figure, or bodybuilding. You do not wish to compete in powerlifting. You can relax about this, about all of this. If some reps you don’t hit depth, who cares? If some reps of bench aren’t competition paused, who cares? If your belt can’t be used in a meet, WHO CARES.
Ne way things went well today…
Low bar paused squats
155lbs x 8
165lbs x 4
170lbs x 4
180lbs x 2 sets of 4
185lbs x 2
190lbs x 2
AMRAP paused tester set since I forgot how much I loved these…
175lbs x 6 <–this was awesome cause I wanted 5 and after I finished I realized I probably coulda gotten at least 8…
banded continuous tension barbell hip thrusts SS ropey cable pull through SS bent leg cable ass kick back
x 15/ x 15/ x 15ass
x 15/ x 15/ x 15ass
x 15/ x 15/ x 15*ass
seated leg curl SS lying leg curl
x 10/ x 8
x 10/ x 8
x 10/ x 10
leg spreader SS leg squisher
x 25/ x 8
x 25 + 1 drop 70lbs x 35 partials/ x 8 + 1 drop 100lbs x 12
stepmill intervals x 20 minutes
Honestly had zero expectations for todays workout, I didn’t even really want to go, not like me at all…
I woke up feeling like all I wanted to do was lay in bed all day and eat donuts
Also very low sex drive, which sucks because it means I make up ways to avoid it or I fake it, and both make me feel like shit…
I KNOW I have some bi-polarish tendencies, so I was talking to my mom and there’s actually some like ultra rapid cycling bi polar shit where you’re like
I’m like that often///
Especially during my vacation where I had too much time to focus on my emotions and not enough human contact distractions
so I did some reading and there’s also something where you’re manic in the morning and depressed at night, which describes me to a T. I realized that could be the reason as to why I’m incapable of going out in the evening
After supper I feel very sad and I don’t like not being in my bed.
If its like 7:01 im like OMG I NEED MY BED I HATE LIFE GO AWAY WORLD wahhh
then I wake up like WHEEEEEEEEEE I am queen of the world!!!
It makes me upset that I don’t have better control over this because as many of you know, I have wanted to have something real with marshall for the better part of 3 years, and now that it’s finally here I can’t cope with actually going out with him. Hey baby, I’ll get a sitter, let’s go out. Or like hey baby, let me take you to an all you can eat steak house. What you doing tonight? What you doing? Let’s do something …
I’m like, well, you go out and i’ll just go to sleep and you can come over when you’re done…
It makes me feel like I’m going to lose something I’ve wanted for forever cause I’m scared to death to be out of my house after 6! And who the fuck is going to put up with rejection for that long?!
Even before I got the RHCP tickets I convinced myself I didn’t even like them and I had no desire to go ! JENN WTF?1 They’ve only been your favourite band for at least 10yrs
Just some thinkings I guess. Random Jenn frustrations.
Also, I got some versa grips so I can double overhand DL and maybe it will help me stop being so stupid crooked wonky :D:D