T Nation

What Business is it of Yours Where I'm From, Friendo?


ahhh…it’s always healing to stop and be thankful for what you have. Good job. :slight_smile:


I’m going to comment on comparing yourself to others as well. I’ve been competing for over 8 years and training for 10. Because of my involvement in the administrative aspects of powerlifting for a number of years, I’ve been up close and personal with the incredible changes. A wilks that was, several years ago, decent for an equipped lifter is now only solid for unequipped.

I see all these people pouring into the sport that seem to be kick ass out of the gates while I’m struggling to stay as strong as I am. The changes are really amazing to witness.

It’s very easy to say “don’t compare yourself to others”. It’s another thing entirely to actually not compare yourself to others. Every time new results come out for our federation I’m scrolling through the women’s results and comparing them to mine. When I see good ones I look at their age. I get stressed and unhappy when I see women my age (50-59) doing better than I am.

This may not be super helpful but I thought you might like to know you’re not alone. Everyone else is not blithely out there doing their own thing and not comparing themselves to others. Some of us do it like it’s our job :expressionless:


Thanks for posting that :slight_smile:

For what it’s worth, you inspire me a lot. You existing reassures me that I know I can be super strong and badass even when I get older :heart_eyes:


K military press didn’t really go according to plan today

But I says to myself, I says, Jenn, don’t get mad, get swole

So there

Military press

75lbs x 5
85lbs x 3
90lbs x 3
95lbs x 3
100lbs x 1
101lbs x miss ZERO
96lbs x 1 + 1 zero miss
95lbs x 2 sets of 2
80lbs x 3 LOL @ this was supposed to me AMRAP set…

paused close grip bench press

x 3 sets of 8

one arm DB lateral raise while the other arm iso holds SS incline DB front raise SS 2 arm DB lateral raise

x 10arm + 10 both arm w/pause at top/ x 10/ x 10
x 10
arm + 10 both arm w/pause at top/ x 10/ x 10
x 10*arm + 10 both arm w/pause at top/ x 10/ x 15

This was done without rest and was quite burny indeed

seated rear delt DB fly SS bent over DB rear delt fly (palms facing inwards) SS bent over DB rear delt fly (pals facing eachother)


x 10/ x 10/ x 12
x 10/ x 10/ x 12
x 10/ x 10/ x 15


plate raise SS seated DB lateral raise

x 10/ x 10
x 12/ x 12
x 15/ x 15

cable rear delt fly
3 diff pin heights for one arm and then move on to the next arm
x 15arm
x 20
x 30*arm

EZ bar cable tri ext. drop set

50lbs x 10
42.5lbs x 10
35lbs x 10
30lbs x 12
25lbs x 35

oh then I did a seated DB press finisher so it was like
x 10 partials from the bottom, x 10 partials from the top, x 10 full ROM
first set was fine so I did a second
x 10 partials from the bottom, x 10 partials from the top, x 10 full ROM

second set was like OMG shoulda rested more…

kinda lame that I waited 6 weeks for my heaviest MP day to roll around and I couldn’t do any better than last time :rage:

Mighta just been technical though, IDK
might start wearing a belt for MP

right now I do it like
I think next time ill do like


But ya so ya


K really good today

deadlift accessory day

deficit deadlift

195lbs x 10
215lbs x 3
220lbs x 2 sets of 3
230lbs x 2

I dunno why I’m stronger at deficit deadlifts VS regular ???

bent over row SS one arm DB row

95lbs/ 50lbs
x 10/ x 8arm
x 10/ x 8
x 12/ x 10*arm

ropey pull down SS sitting sideways lat pull down

x 12/ x 12arm
x 12/ x 12
x 12 + 1 drop 25lbs x 15/ x 15*arm

seated DB curl SS EZ bar curl

x 8arm/ x 8
x 8
arm/ x 8
x 8*arm/ x 10

hammer strength iso row (neutral grip SS medium D handle lat pull down

35lbs per side/ 55lbs
x 15/ x 15
55lbs per side/ 70lbs
x 12/ x 10
x 12/ x 12


Mind muscle connection has been really good lately
Narco’s has been really good lately…

Almost weekend!!!
I think gabe wants to train Bi’s tomorrow, Lolzzzzz



K squats feeling good two workouts in a row :open_mouth:

Beltless low bar paused squats

145lbs x 8
155lbs x 2 sets of 5
170lbs x 3
180lbs x 2
185lbs x 2 sets of 1

continuous tension banded barbell hip thrusts SS straight leg cable ass kick back SS ropey cable pull through

x 20/ x 20ass/ x 20
x 20/ x 20
ass/ x 20
x 20/ x 20*ass/ x 20

ass pump in full effect

leg spreader SS leg squisher

x 8/ x 15
x 8/ x 15
x 8 + 1 drop 70lbs x 15/ x 15*slow neg

lying leg curl w/heels touching SS seated leg curl

x 10/ x 10
x 10/ x 10
x 10/ x 10

step mill intervals x 20 minutes

I have no idea how I ever did step mill intervals everyday of my life, it seems like the less I do it the more I hate it
Shit makes me damn near cry
it brings up every bad thing that’s ever happened in my life and I feel an overwhelming rollercoaster of emotion
then it’s done and I go back to normal.


I wonder if I should stagger my stance when I do military press
I think I used to do that



Alrighty bench day of perfection pour moi

bench press

115lbs x 6
120lbs x 6
125lbs x 6
127lbs x 2 sets of 6

sling shot bench

140lbs x 6
145lbs x 2 sets of 6

seated DB press SS Arnold press

x 6/ x 10
x 6/ x 10
x 6/ x 10

Uh DB 12’s of death super giant set


Incline one arm DB lateral raise SS alternating DB front raise (palms facing inwards) SS DB lateral raise w/pause at the top SS normal DB lateral raise

x 12arm/ x 12arm/ x 12/ x 12
x 12arm/ x 12arm/ x 12/ x 12
x 12arm/ x 12arm/ x 12/ x 12

incline DB trap raises SS incline rear delt DB fly SS bent over rear delt DB fly

x 10/ x 12/ x 10
x 10/ x 12/ x 10
x 10/ x 10/ x 15

ropey tri ex SS DB tri kick back

x 10/ x 10arm
x 12/ x 12
x 15/ x 15*arm

facepulls SS cable rear delt fly

x 15/ x 15arm
x 15/ x 15

cable straight bar underhand grip front raises
drop set

20lbs x 10
15lbs x 12
10lbs x 15


Done N’ had fun



K loved today


185lbs x 4
215lbs x 4
225lbs x 4
235lbs x 4
240lbs x 3 sets of 4

In B4 “Jenn, I thought you said no belt for a while?” :joy:

ropey cable pull down SS DB row

x 20/ x 8arm
x 20/ x 8
x 20/ x 10*arm

straight arm pull down SS medium D handle seated row cable

x 15/ x 15
x 15/ x 15
x 15/ x 15

behind the neck pull down SS lat pull down

x 10/ x 10
x 10/ x 10
x 10/ x 10

2 D handle lat pull down

70lbs x 12
85lbs x 8
100lbs x 6
1 drop set
55lbs x 10 or 12 or something

bicep curl machine
40lbs x 8 w/slow neg
40lbs x 8 w/slow neg
50lbs x 8

alternating DB curl

20lbs x 10arm
22.5lbs x 8
25lbs x 6*arm

2 bar row

bar +++ 50lbs
x 12
x 12

K felt strong, did good

Some guy got upset with me cause I was gonna use a latpull down machine that he was still using even though he was walking around no where near it, and I apologized, but he was a dick about it

Actually, it was that guy that asked me on a date like last Christmas and it was super awkward and I told you his hatred for me pierced my soul

He was rude
So then I got a lot of anxiety and I thought everyone in the whole world was mad at me



Sensitive much?!

I think I’m over it now…

He didn’t even say anything when I apologized

Im over it now

Not even like, Oh, no worries, thanks…


No, I’m over it


I have issues

Marshall is still being really nice . That’s like a record, it’s been almost a month.
I’m pretty nuts about it, but I’m keeping my insanity a secret…

He txts me hello beautiful every morning and goodnite kissy faces etc… so if it’s like 7am and he hasn’t texted me yet im like HOLY SHIT WAHT WHAT No omg he’s back with his ex, my life is over he hates me I did something it’s all over…

But then its 7:05 and he texts me so then I’m like oh, heh, heyyyyy. LOL





I can’t stand people who do this (what he did, not you). You did not owe him an apology for using an unoccupied station, so it’s all the more galling that he didn’t respond to the apology in a polite way.

Based on your ‘history’ with him, his unpleasant and unreasonable behavior may stem from lingering resentment over your declining his request for a date. (As an aside, his current behavior makes clear that you made the right decision in that regard.)


K squats just keep feelin’ better N’ better :smiley:

Low bar squats

145lbs x 8
155lbs x 8
165lbs x 8
175lbs x 8

Prob/ some of the deepest most pleasant squats I’ve had in a realllly long time !!

high bar paused squats

160lbs x 5
170lbs x 3 sets of 3
180lbs x 1

ass machine
x 10ass
x 10
x 10*ass

single leg ext.
x 20leg
x 20
x 20*leg

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

back ext.
x 35


I used my heavy duty SDB wrist wraps for my squats today and my wrist shit was barely an issue anymore !!

paused bench 2mmroowwowow


Man oh man, what an awesome week of sleeping, eating, and lifting for me. Happiness PR :joy:

paused bench press

115lbs x 8
125lbs x 2 sets of 4
130lbs x 2
135lbs x 1

sling shot paused

145lbs x 3 sets of 4

Incline DB press SS incline DB fly

x 10*paused/ x 15
x 8/ x 15
x 8/ x 20

incline rear delt plate fly SS bent over rear delt DB fly (palms facing inwards) SS bent over rear delt DB fly(palms facing each other)

x 25/ x 10/ x 12
x 25/ x 10/ x 12
x 30/ x 12/ x 15

delts on fiiiireeee

hammer strength chest press *one arm at a time

x 15arm
x 15
x 15*arm

ropey tri ext. SS cable tri ext.

x 12/ x 12arm
x 12/ x 12
x 12/ x 12*arm

rear delt cable fly
all sets on one side then all sets on the other side with no rest/diff pin heights each set

x 10arm
x 15
x 20*arm

two arm DB tri ext.
drop sets

20lbs x 8
15lbs x 12
10lbs x 20


Deadlift accessory omorwowow2 and then a well deserved rest day! :grinning:



I am on team High Bar. If it feels more natural it’s because your body is set up to do it. You mentioned glutes as a reason for Low Bar and I can attest High Bar crush the glutes too. And of course genetics will play a huge roll as to what adaptations come from training.

Also, awesome log, VERY interesting and funny and enlightening.


Team low bar here. But, don’t really think it makes that much of a difference. Just weighing in -watching you Friendo!


thanks guyz :heart_eyes:

I’m on team squats R awesome when they don’t feel like shit :joy:

K riding the struggle bus today

deficit deadlifts

200lbs x 8
215lbs x 2 sets of 4
225lbs x 2
240lbs x 2 sets of 1

wanted to maybe do 3 sets or 245, but my second set felt like shit so I stopped there

bent over row SS two arm DB row SS ropey pull down

x 6/ x 12/ x 15
x 6/ x 12/ x 15
x 6/ x 12/ x 15

one arm lat pull down w/pause SS wide handle seated row cable

x 10arm/ x 10
x 10
arm/ x 10
x 10*arm/ x 10

hammer strength front pull down machine drop set

50lbs x 8
40lbs x 10
30lbs x 12

barbell curl 21’s SS DB hammer curl
x 21/ x 8arm
x 21/ x 8
barbell curl SS DB hammer curl
30lbs/ 25lbs
x 15/ x 8*arm

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

k im beat to shit, lotsa really good training and super busy at work = ready for 10000 years of sleep

anyway, here’s something different

oct last year to oct this year… :worried:

The girl in the first picture was starving and miserable and the girl in the second picture is full and happy… but man, sometimes seeing that shit is hard.

I dunno, like, have I let myself go too much? Worrying and wondering, and not really liking how long it takes me to pull up my pants.
But at the same time life is so good and I really don’t feel like changing a damn thing. Le sigh…

k anyway


Don’t feel too bad about the weight. Full and happy is much nicer. I’m a couple of weeks out from a meet and decided not to struggle down to 57 and lift at 63. Too much cheese and booze and lack of desire, like you, to change anything right now. It’s going around. I hear you on the pants issue though. That part sucks. I just got stretchy pants. Problem solved :slight_smile:



Get bigger pants.

I am sooooo smart it’s scary.


Well thanks for the upgrade my pants encouragement, friends, :joy:

Today’s workout was perfect

Beltless low bar paused squats

135lbs x 10
155lbs x 2 sets of 6
170lbs x 3
180lbs x 2
185lbs x 2
190lbs x 1

Def. a PR or two in there

Banded paused full reset barbell hip thrusts SS ropey cable pull through

x 3/ x 30
x 3/ x 30
x 3/ x 30

lying leg curl SS seated leg curl

x 12/ x 12
x 12/ x 12
x 12/ x 12
No rest AT ALL=super hamstring burn sesh

leg spreader
drop sets

145lbs x 8
115lbs x 10
85lbs x 12
55lbs x 15 + 15 partials

leg squisher
130lbs I think (??)
x 8 *slow neg
x 8 *slow neg

leg on bench cable ass kick backs

x 15 1&1/2 reps + 10 normal *ass

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

K here’s a boring tale about a two-day long, seemingly never-ending panic attack :cry:

So on Friday morning I woke up with a lot of anxiety kinda scared to workout having a feeling that my workout was going to give me anxiety, LOL. Anxiety worrying about something giving me anxiety, *eye roll.
I think it’s cause I missed my rest day last week due to that shitty squat workout, etcetc, just worn the fuck out w/e.

So deadlifts went ok, but my last single at 240 made my mind go crazy. I knew it wasn’t pretty, but I also knew it wasn’t horrendous and my mind was making it out to be wayyy worse than it actually was.
Either way it made me have a panic attack. I knew something was going to that day, it wasn’t a matter of if, it was just a matter of what and when.

So then I saw that picture of me from a year ago and it made me have a panic attack on top of a panic attack.
Like I felt very upset and I started having a lot of trouble making decisions about anything. Like am I on the right path? Do I hate my body too much to continue focusing on strength? What socks should I wear?
So whatever I get to work feeling semi-okay cause work usually distracts me from my panic attack.

But then I got in trouble.

Basically a woman didn’t like my customer service and tweeted about it and then the higher ups wanted information about the girl and the place, etcetc, and it was me.
It was something so minor that was blown so out of proportion, but my boss had to reprimand me and put it in my file.
I mean, keep in mind, my boss adores me and what was most upsetting to me about getting in trouble is how much my boss hated having to talk to me about it. That says a lot.
I was distraught though, and kinda felt like crying.
Curious if that woman knew how much that single tweet impacted my life, would she have still done it? Or would she be even more glad that she did it? I’ve lost a fair amount of sleep over this…
But anyway ,

That made anxiety on top of anxiety on top of anxiety and it was started to get really uncomfortable. Cause when I’m in that state every single thing makes me have a meltdown.
And when it just keeps lingering then I start to feel like I am basically going to feel like this forever and I’ll never be capable of being comfortable ever again.
OBVS. not the case, but it’s hard to be rational about it.
Just tried to solider on through my shift yesterday. It was really busy and I just felt so guilty about everything I tried to be 1000times more friendly than normal.
Watched Narco’s before bed and I got REALllllly upset about something that happened. I was like oMG No
that did not just happen
I think it’s just a dream someone’s having
Please flash out of this
Woke up at 1 like
Today’s workout was perfect, I’m on vacation now, and I think the volcano is done erupting, thank G.

Walked to my car this am like though all the indecisiveness, all I know is that I never want to give up on my powerlifting dreams.

So there’s a way-too-long of a tale about a panic attack domino effect. Just cause you step on a nail after stepping on a pebble, it don’t mean your foot ain’t never gonn’ heal !



Hang in there! It was a bad day, not a bad life!


K today was a day…

Military press

75lbs x 12
75lbs x 12
70lbs x 12
65lbs x 12
65lbs x 12

Houston, I think we have a stalling military press…:sob:

Paused close grip bench press

105lbs x 5 sets of 4

one arm seated DB press SS hammer strength iso lateral press (facing seat) SS one arm DB lateral raise

25lbs/25lbs per side/10lbs
x 10arm/ x 12arm/ x 12arm
x 10
arm/ x 12arm/ x 12arm
x 10arm/ x 12arm/ x 12*arm

seated DB rear delt fly SS facepulls

x 15/ x 15
x 15/ x 15
x 20/ x 20

cable lean away lateral raises SS lean away DB lateral raises

x 10arm/ x 10arm
x 10arm/ x 10arm
x 10arm/ x 10arm

cable bent over rear delt fly
x 10arm
x 15

DB front raise
drop sets

20lbs x 8arm
15lbs x 10
10lbs x 12*arm

triangle tri ext.
x 8
x 8
1 drop
30lbs x 25 or some shit
I dunno how many reps
I don’t even know if it was 30lbs…

done I think…

Pretty sure I got 76lbs x 12 last 12 day…
but my second set my last rep damn near killed me
I wasn’t looking at the time, but I think it took about 10 minutes to lock it out :confused:

Stupid military press
I think I am going to add paused military press after benching
I really don’t do it that frequently
I should have done more rear delt work

They didn’t burn…

Also I was crooked

Also I have mental health issues



k today made up for yesterdays day that was totally fine that bothered me a lot for no reason…


185lbs x 3
215lbs x 3
225lbs x 3
235lbs x 3
240lbs x 3
245lbs x 2 sets of 3

There was a creeper creepin’ me and it almost made me farty explode when I was lifting, but I took my chances anyway :smirk:

bent over row (overhand grip) SS ropey cable pull down SS sitting sideways lat pull down

x 10/ x 15/ x 12arm
x 10/ x 15/ x 12
x 10/ x 15/ x 12*arm


one arm DB row

40lbs x 15arm
50lbs x 12
60lbs x 10*arm

t-bar row

bar ++
x 15
x 15

wide D handle lat pull down

55lbs x 10slow neg
70lbs x 8
slow neg
85lbs x 8

hammer curl SS D handle bi curl SS ropey bi curl

x 8arm/ x 10arm/ x 12
x 8arm/ x 10arm/ x 12
x 8arm/ x 10arm/ x 12


reflecting about some stuff, as per my norm

Most of the times bad workouts teach me something or help me tinker with my routine in order to improve it. They aren’t a wasted training day, far from it.

I started thinking how after my last heaviest military press day perhaps before I started back at 12’s I shoulda had a single “deload” military press day and then the following one I could start back at 12’s

ALSO thinking like, if I had a person in my life who I respected, yet they lied to be basically every single day about every little thing, would I continue to believe them?
And about things that upset me, why would I listen to them or trust their opinion?
That’s how I feel about my anxiety
365 days a year it fabricates bullshit stories that hurt my feelings and everyday I’m like, what?! Really?! Wow, you must be right…

If that were a real person I’d be like uhhhhhhhh nah brah, you lyin’

And feeling guilty about these things, that is the wrong emotion.
I go in with a plan, I try my hardest to execute said plan, I make my reps, but I have to really push myself , and it becomes slightly imperfect so I feel guilty?
How does that make any sense ?

I swear some times there’s a whole damn team of Jenn’s up there workin’ againt me, IDK.