+1 I read three times last year.
What a piece of shit. He deserves whatever bad he brings on himself
K wonderful today
135lbs x 4
185lbs x 2
205lbs x 2
225lbs x 2
240lbs x 2 x 2 moved great
Bent over row
100lbs x 3 x 10
Foot on seat lat pull to me ss two d handle lat pull down
X 8 x 8
X 8 x 8
X 8 x 8
60lbs x 50 + 50 partials
Seated leg curl
45lbs x 20 + 5 partials
T bar row
X 3 x 6 w pause
25lbs x 15
Lat pull down
25lbs x 12
27.5lbs x 2 x 12
Dual pulley row
20lbs x 1 x 15
15lbs x 12
10lbs x 12
Front pull down machine
35lbs x 8
27.5lbs x 8
20lbs x 8
30lbs x 12
50lbs x 5
30lbs x 12
12.5lbs x 2 x 8, x 1 x 10
Seated row cable
85lbs x 6
55lbs x 8
40lbs x 15
Step mill intervals x 20
So much fun.
All my days off around xmas is making my recovery much improved.
Short day tomorrow for new yrs eve then off Tuesday
Doing nothing lol
Happy New Year Jenn
I hope life will treat you as kind as it has been doing lately.
Thanks same to u !
K amazing new yrs day squats. Seems to be tradition now…
135lbs x 5
155lbs x 3
175lbs x 1
185lbs x 1
190lbs x 1
195lbs x 1
200lbs x 2 x 1 felt easy !!
Semi pause each rep again
75lbs x 4 sets of 3
Seated db press
30lbs x 12
35lbs x 2 x 6
20lbs x 15 Arnold press
45lbs x 10, x 8
Db lateral raises pinkies up
10lbs × 10
5lbs x 15
10lbs x 10
5lbs x 15
Regular db lateral raises
7.5lbs x 35
Bent over rear delt db fly
5lbs x 15, x 30
Reverse grip d handle tri ext ss ropey tri ext
X 8 x 10
X 8 x 12
Db tri ext x 15
145lbs x 20
100lbs x 2 x 15
Stepmill intervals x 20 min
Ya they’re good, just not enough weight for my liking, can only put like 65lbs on one of my spinlock DB bars comfortably, lol. Thanks for the suggestions bro.
Hey Spox, while you’re here… =)
*Db lateral raises pinkies up
Some ppl say this is bad for your shoulders (pinkies up like you are pouring a pitcher of water), some say that’s how you are supposed to do it, most just do it the traditional palms down way and the athlean x guy on youtube says it’s safest and more effective doing lateral raises slightly bent forward with thumbs facing up. Curious what your thoughts are (and everyone else’s also).
95lbs x 4
115lbs x 4
125lbs x 4
135lbs x 3 sets of 4
120lbs x 2 sets of 4
Few imperfect reps, but overall not too bad
Paused bench press
100lbs x 6
105lbs x 2 sets of 6
95lbs x 6
Step mill intervals x 5 min
Incline db press w pause
22.5lbs x 15
30lbs x 8, x10 no pause
I’ve been increasingly manic since the 27th , and it’s very uncomfortable. I dont know if its situational or if I’m just getting worse, but every cycle seems to be more and more intense .
Always at this time in the month 10-14 days. Now the insomnia has kicked in , so I’m very surprised with how well today went all things considered.
Obviously this is all personal and tmi ,but my log has always kind of been that way .
I’m having the shits all day just related to my thoughts of excitement when theres literally nothing to be excited about. Like shopping yesterday picking out pants , omg I’m so excited now I’m going to go crap myself .
And also very tmi, but I was coming home from shopping and I felt like if I didnt get home to masturbate that very second I was going to explode . It was like dire necessity. Holy hell. Like fucking drug addict 3 minutes from a fix.
Of course I read online that shit intensifies it. Like well if you’re manic dont make it worse by shopping and excessive masturbation, well whoops. What am I supposed to do then, I’m going insane ? If these urges could be controlled then real mania wouldn’t even exist .
Oh well, just thought dumping. I should have a week or so left of this and it will dissipate. Maybe only like 3 more nights of insomnia according to my tracker. W/e fml. Just shoot me
K I want to talk about my 2019 lifting goals
So for squat I wanted to be at 225 on the 2 yr anniversary of the first time I did it, lol, march 25, but i dont like that kind of pressure .
I find it weird I’m so much better at paused squats than regular, but I’ll keep plugging away at manageable weights with good form, and try not to over think it.
I’ll be happy with 210lbs , and just generally being confident with 200 and over without worrying that i couldn’t make the lift. That’s back squat goals
Bench press big plates again !! 135!!! I’m at 125 but I’m pretty sure a lot of women agree it could take 10 months to add 10lbs so that’s my bench goal
Military press 95lbs
Front squat 155
Deadlift 265 . My new form makes this seem very attainable. I’m at 245 for easy singles already, but not rushing. I want it to keep feeling this easy basically, no sloppy !!
I want to go on a real person date !!! Like with nerves and wine and getting to know you conversation!! And half way through I don’t want to see an incoming call from a contact named my fiance because that happened with the last person years ago and we all know how that ended up .
I also want a social life !! I made an incredible best friend at work and when I’m work from home I’m going to hang with her all the time ! I ain’t letting that slip away.
I have a 4.5yr plan to save up for a downpayment on a condo . All I have to do is save 500 a month and my quarterly quality assurance bosses of 1000 and I’ll be there. I’m tired of renting !!
And I want a pet dammit !!
None I think I lost a bit of weight with my nerves lately and either way I’m happy here . 130 is my happy spot
Have awesome QA scores so my bonuses are bigger than I budget
Um what other goals are there
Get people to watch the departed so we can quote it all day long
K wow, went on my date last night and went to bed at 2am and woke up at 5am
135lbs x 8
155lbs x 3 sets of 8
100lbs x 6
110lbs x 3 x 6
110lbs x 10
Barbell split squats
65lbs x 2 x 12
230lbs x 8
145lbs x 12
100lbs x 15 or something
X 3 x 10
Db lateral raises
10lbs x 30
70lbs x 2 x 8 w pause
55lbs x 12
Step mill intervals
Some tri shit and rear delt shit ya
I’m so tired
So riddle me this can I assume the guy is interested if we hung out until 2am and played video games in my kids closet because that’s where they are lol
But he never even tried to hug me goodbye and hasnt messaged me today so idk what to think
Like I’m friend zoned or something
Nope he likes you.
Lol how can u be sure !!
GIRL!!! I have been there myself and I know from personal experience that you won’t be done until you are DONE. You’ll KNOW it too! Full on “AH HA!” moment that you’ll know instantly. It sounds like to me you are there if not coming up on it closely!
All relationships are complex, and abusive ones especially --its hard unless you’ve been there to understand and also for you to feel comfortable letting someone know what you dealt with as its very personal. The wrong people will judge you, the good people will just listen
From my experience in that I also held a lot of shame- for years- for feeling like I was a fool for putting up with shit and that I should be ashamed for it…That’s not rational thinking. Its the bastard still being in your head manipulating you and refusing to accept responsibility for messin you up! I try to let it all be lesson but in no way is it my fault.
"Men ( or women) mess up and women fell badly about it. Then when it didn’t work out they’d feel badly…about themselves. No, not the guy who said all of these offensive things or treated a woman disrespectfully. They blamed themselves—for choosing him, not ending it sooner. " A quote from a article I read.
You did your time. You tried, and you can put this in your past where it belongs. Having experienced this bad relationship will help you in the future see red flags of behavior you don’t like, you’ll see it sooner and you’ll recognize it for what it is.
I think you already know this! But I wanted to shake me fist in the air over that bastard you dealt with! He’s got a knuckle sandwich comin for him from the Kharma Police!
Going to a movie with J tonight, spent New Year’s Eve with her, no contact other than kiss on cheek at midnight and hug goodbye - she was sick, so I’m not sure what’s going on.
But, she emailed me in response to one I sent and said she had a good time and would like to see me again, so we’re going out tonight.
Being of my generation where most first dates ended up in bed, and the resulting discomfort the next day, I am enjoying getting to know her. I have no idea if I am in friend zone or not, but I enjoy hanging out with her.
He may not want to be pushy, so be patient. I went out with another girl a few weeks ago and then got busy and she sent me a text wondering why I disappeared - it kind of turned me off to be honest.
J seems to need to get to know me better, needs to feel safe, so I’m not pushing anything. Maybe this guy is picking up a similar vibe from you.
Patience young Jedi.
I know you’re right about all of these things, its just that nothing has ever worked out for me the way I’ve wanted it to with guys . Its always been a disappointment for me. So right now when i have this sinking feeling I’m inclined to listen to it because its always been right .
And not in a self fulfilling proficey kind of way, because me feeling worried right now is in no way impacting his feelings, I just feel like, holy hell, over 12 years of rejection and horrible mistreatment and why cant one guy ever just give me a second date.
It shouldn’t be a big deal because I barely know him, but him, plus the dozen others over the years makes it harder and harder to swallow .
If it’s any consolation, third date with J, no kiss goodbye, lol.
Hang in there!
of course i broke down and texted him, lol, because i thought well YES< i have had to do everything so far , but every time i do he is VERY receptive. Maybe he’s just a cautious person, maybe he’s been very hurt or something and it will be like this for a while .
I said " hope you had a good day, thx for hanging out with me"
I had fun, i hope i didn’t take you too much out of your routine."
SO maybe he was hesitant to suggest hanging out again because it was very apparent I was/a, a very routine, anal person, LOL.
I think it’s safe to say something back like " nah, it’s ok, my routine could use a little revamping anyway. Let me know if you ever want to get together again."
DOes that seem needy, i can’t tell? LOl
Definitely not needy, personally i wouldn’t send the “Let me know if you ever want to get together again.” That sort of sounds like you think you’re never going to see him again. I’d rephrase it to “I had fun too, Whens our next date ?.” Thats subtle but straightforward. Make sure to include an emoji of your choice because its 2019 an emoji’s are the shit
Woah that’s way too confident of a reply, can you rephrase that again with less confidence plz
Hes obviously into you
Hmmmm. I don’t really know how to rephrase it. You could just compliment him and say you had a great time and you enjoyed hanging out. That will build his confidence and perhaps prompt him to make a move like another date. I would still go with the direct approach because if i girl said that I’d love it! (Especially a girl i was into) Just go with your heart really/whatever you want to say.