Rest day thoughts:
Does anyone/everyone else with children get mortified by the thought of time passing or their child aging?
My son will be 12 in a month, heading off to Jr high, and when I am tried or just in a sensitive state I start to feel intense bouts of separation anxiety about the thought of him getting older.
I basically want him to stop aging as of yesterday. Not because I worry about what he will be like as a teenager or a young adult, but because he’s my best friend and I do everything with him. When he starts to get older he will perhaps get a girlfriend, more friends, a part-time job, a life away from me and then I will literally be all alone.
Right now I don’t feel super lonely because every day off I have I plan things for us to do together that we both enjoy. Before bed and over dinner we are together and even if we aren’t hanging out I hear his gaming noises or we can make conversation so I never really have to feel alone.
He was going to be going camping with his other family for like 5 days at the end of the month and I shit you not I almost cried because I didn’t want to think about being alone for 5 days.
I have no man and no friends. My mom and my son are the only people in my world. I don’t want them to age and I don’t want anything to change because I don’t want to be all by myself.
I honestly do not see myself actually meeting anyone any time soon. I am happy, but I am still a very disordered person, and a man getting used to all my “quirks” would be quite the feat, and I don’t believe it’s in the cards for me.
Anyway, just some thoughts I have been having as of late. I am not super down, just worried that in the future I’ll be super down I guess, LOL