T Nation

What are Guys Looking for In a Girl?


I really feel we have gone way off topic on a 17 yo’s thread here.


I never lived there, but I spent weeks at a time there in the early 90’s. Of course, Olongapo city was a special sort of messed up while there was a large U.S. Naval presence at Subic. That experience gave me a very dim view of the sex trade in general, and I have to admit my opinion may be biased by that. And @ChickenLittle is correct, so I’ll drop this line of discussion now.


A little bit. I just takes one person to have a fundamental lack of what is and isn’t appropriate in a given situation.


That’s because you two are a couple of self-entitled, bitchy Western women who don’t know your place. Don’t you know your attitude is a massive turn off for guys like mozzer?

(I was going to through a c-word in there but I don’t know you well enough, ouroboro, for you to know for sure I was joking so I thought I’d better not risk it)


I may be that. I think it has less to do with being a western feminist and more to being older and having fewer shits to give. I’ve been called worse but at lease I’m not a twat.




Regarding Asian vs Western girls, I’m just gonna say cultural differences exist in the way people behave and project themselves externally. To base an assessment of the character of a group of individuals based on this is simply not understanding that people are a lot more complex than even the color of their skin. I do not foresee it ending well for someone who enters into a relationship with this mindset because the respect for a person as a human being simply isn’t there.


Thank God this isn’t twitter.


You should thank your lucky stars I’m not a journalist … That would’ve been a great click bait headline haha


Pft… I’ve publicly announced my intent to watch Captain Marvel. Everyone knows my character is above reproach and I love women.


Ghostbusters remake.

Oceans 8.

You hate women.


Ok, but your review of the Ghostbusters 2016 is recorded in posterity here … as I recall it was rather damning of the movie … which in today’s political climate makes you forever sexist so…boooom goes the dynamite


2 angry males wearing hats with an acronym that is meaningless to me assaulted me at 2am, placed a noose around my neck and forced me to write disparaging remarks about those movies.


Sorry your thread went to shit. I noticed it because my name was taken in vain up thread.

Getting back to your topic:

As a former Army officer (albeit one with a Good Conduct medal; have someone explain how that is possible) AND a guy who is athletic, smart, gets up early, motivated, etc kinda-nice-Jewish boy (albeit a convert), I wish you well in your endeavors.

I do agree there are two parts to your question: (1) discerning your target and (2) capturing your man.

And, yes, that’s what it is. The stupid boys in HS don’t do it for you. Well, yes. That means you have standards.

And it is the woman, despite what culture, tells you who decides. You will pick your target and then you will bait and capture him. Fishing, as noted above, is a fair analogy.

You can get lots of fish with a small, flashy, bait.

To catch a blue fin tuna, one must use a large bait (too big for most fish), and spend a large amount of cruising in select locations. It’s a sometimes boring and painful process.

Quality men are much the same. You’ve picked your target. Now you not only need to go where they are (which Columbia seems actually a mediocre choice; you’ll get smart guys who aren’t hungry – for commitment, that is). But there will be niches of more serious boys there. ROTC is the gimme; I don’t know the others.

So now, you need the bait – which is you. You’re a big bait, so will scare off most of the little fish. That’s fine. But I would advise openly demonstrating the qualities you seek in a male by some manner.


I tried to stir the pot up thread but Mozzer stepped in and stole my thunder.


Thanks for the advice!

Sorry if someone in the thread offended you. I personally don’t spend a lot of time with social media, but I find the dynamics of online interactions very disturbing and interesting at the same time.


Mmmm-hmmm. I forgot while reading the kerfuffle that anna is 17, but at 17 if an intelligent girl can’t read an exchange like the above without learning things about herself and others, she is lacking in courage and curiosity, which are qualities men worth having like.

I did like reading the “hey, hey, there’s a kid here!” posts, though, because those speak of qualities women worth having like, such as decency and protective concern for the (perceived) vulnerable.

@anna_5588, I’ll echo the others in saying that more importantly, decide what you like and look for that as it is fair to assume that the people with similar qualities will be looking for you. Whether you go to college or not, things become much better socially after high school. The weird hierarchy of “cool” falls apart and people start finding admirable those qualities they actually admire, whatever they are. There are decent, desirable guys in the same position as you, I promise.

As for the sex stuff, I totally get what you’re saying. Here again, be patient. Your peers are trapped and bored and hormone-fueled, with the sex-obsessed media their main source of entertainment.


Nah, nothing offensive. Another poster made a long-term joke regarding a real world conflict between myself and yet another poster, who is a flaming asshole, that you could not possibly get.


Are you from outside NYC and going to move to go to school at Columbia, or are you from the area?

I’m a HS teacher on LI, have a 15 year old daughter and a twelve year old son, and my brother went to NYU. If you’re coming from a rural area, NYC can be intimidating. Awesome, but intimidating.

There are several posters from the area that can give you some guidance if you’re interested.


I was born in NYC and moved to Shanghai 5 years ago, so big cities are my thing. With that said, I’d love to hear more about life as an adult in NYC. Thanks for offering!