T Nation

What are Guys Looking for In a Girl?


Well, this goes back to your original thesis, which was (restating): “what do the kind of boys I like find attractive.

Well, nice Jewish boys like nice Jewish girls. It’s pretty much a package deal. Now nice Jewish girls come in all colors and races, including various Asians. So back to that thesis. But I knew many a gentile/Jewish college couple at MIT that were great together, but who broke up when it was time for marriage. That’s a giant issue.

Regarding military men, they are the type that live their country and want to serve her. So they like others who serve. I didn’t do ROTC in the States, but I suspect you can participate and not ultimately join the military. A trial run, so to speak. But since that’s your target, you’d have to be the kind of girl who wants to serve others above yourself. That could be being a doctor or whatever, not necessarily a soldier.


Wow! Just, wow…


Tell me more about this?

I just got back from Thailand… You and I did not have the same experience. Spend some time around Sukhumvit 5, did you?


Anna, I didn’t take the time to read everyone’s responses, so forgive me if this is redundant.

A woman needs to be confident and have high self esteem. Self loathing and pity parties are annoying and a huge turn off.

A woman needs to be independent. That means you pay for your own stuff - rent, utilities, car, etc. It’s okay for men to be chivalrous and try to take care of you, but don’t rely on it. If you rely on someone for anything in life then you become dependent. If the relationship goes south or becomes one sided then you’re stuck. You have to choose to either go without whatever he’s providing or put up with the bad relationship. If he’s providing your ride to work or your home then you’re stuck.

Lastly, every relationship is either good or bad for you. A person can add or subtract (take) from your life. If the person is adding to your life then let them stay. If the person is taking from you in any way then drop them. They will be a drain on you emotionally or financially.

As a commercial once said, be comfortable in your own skin. If you’re looking to change yourself to fit someone else’s desires then you’re in for a long life of bad relationships and misery.

The question you need to be asking is “What do I want in a guy?” Answer that and stick to your standards.

And you’re probably better off missing out on the high school romance scene. It’s pretty ugly and overrated.


You should consider conversion to Islam, and maybe moving to ISIS controlled territory, or, if too extreme, the PA, Iran, or maybe Yemen. Women are property there and keep their heads down (or get them cut off).

You could even have 5 or so.


I used to go to Sukhumvit Soi 4 a lot when I came on holiday. Great times. I live in a small town in the north now though. Where did you go? Were you on holiday?


What’s so shocking?


I despise Islam, although there would be one benefit to the west if they do succeed in turning it to Islam. It would be the end of feminism and cunty western women.


Not shocking, just surprising in a depressing sort if way. I enjoy the rare corner of the internet where you don’t get a lot of that sort if thinking, and I hate seeing it intrude.

I’m sorry you don’t have the fortitude to engage with a woman on equal terms, and only feel comfortable when they ‘know their place’. I had an acquaintance (I definitely won’t say friend) from my last job who spent all his vacation time in Thailand, and is now an expat living there since his retirement. His idea of a good time was molesting underage bar girls, and he lacked the personality and hygiene to carry on a prolonged conversation with a woman who wasn’t being paid to pretend to be interested in him. It sounds like the two of you would get along swimmingly.

It makes me sad that a strong, intelligent, confident 17 year old girl posted on here looking for some good advice, and gets your tripe thrown into the middle of it.


Cmon dude we’re a diverse crowd, there had to be at least one incel on here.


FWIW, I’m a 22 year old political science major at a fairly competive school in the states, have interned in DC on congressional staff, worked at the pentagon, played college sports, etc. nothing special, but probably something along the lines of the guys you’d come across at Columbia. I have never shared the views @mozzer3953 is sprouting out, nor would I say that I see them among any of my peers.

If anything, I’d say I have always been vastly more attracted to smart, intelligent women who had their life put together and carried themselves proudly. My soon to be wife (who admittedly, I first met when we were both 15 and neither one of us knew our path yet) has degrees in criminal justice and psychology, and is looking to get a job working federal level law enforcement once we move out to San Diego this spring. She is smart, hardworking, and responsible. That’s what I’d say appeals to me, and to other guys looking for a prospective long term partner. You must be reasonably intelligent to get into your chosen school, you like Russian history, you lift weights, it seems like you are bright enough and interested enough to carry yourself well both physically and intellectually. That alone should attract a decent number of men.

To be fair, not everyone is looking long term. How to attract guys short term? Be physically attractive and show an ounce of interest in them. The guys are 18, women occupy at least 50% of every thought in their head.


WOW! Just WoW!


Just be yourself. Dont try and be what “guys want you to be”, or what you think they want you to be. If you are a weirdo, be a weirdo. If a guy doesnt like your sense of humor, find another guy.
My wife and I are weirdos. We are full of useless info and have weird senses of humor. We love that about each other.
Im almost 50 and she is 45 and neither of us have ever been so happy in our lives since we met. We completely love each others personality and would not change a single thing…
In short, dont change yourself. Youll be MUCH happier finding someone that will embrace every little quirk you have.


Underage bar girls? I’ve never seen an underage bar girl in my 7 years here. Have you ever been to Thailand? Have you ever even left your own country? I think you have me wrong. I’m just stating my opinions which have come from a lot of experience. Go and see the world, open your mind and be honest with yourself, one day you might realise I’m speaking sense. Or maybe you’ll realise when you’re married to some cunt who pressured you into getting wed and has trapped you forever, but then it’ll be too late.


I spent 11 years in the U.S. Navy, and I’ve visited every continent but Antarctica. I grew up in Panama. I’ve seen the bar girls in the Philippines and Thailand, and they are very frequently underage, and doing what they do because of a lack of better alternatives, if not outright coercion. I never ‘indulged’ in any of that stuff, but I drank a lot of bug juice and San Miguel beer. I’m married to the love of my life, who I’ve known and been best friends with for almost 40 years, but only ‘been with’ for 3. I was married 2 other times, and I’ve made plenty of mistakes along the way, but never have I felt about women the way you seem to.

I understand your opinion, I just think it’s a toxic and reprehensible one. Most of the American and other nationalities’ women I’ve known have been intelligent, self-assured and capable. I’m sure these traits are terrifying to you, but I find them extremely sexy.

Edited to tone down a slight bit of hyperbole.


I have been to Thailand, and the Philippines. There are plenty of underage prostitutes there. It’s hilarious that with your childish mindset, and using the word “cunt” 10 times in a thread with a 17 year old girl asking for honest advice, you would tell people to open their minds.


That’s great, good luck with your 3rd marriage. For a bit of context concerning your last comment, I have been with my girlfriend for the past 5 years. She is an English teacher, she’s probably the nicest person I’ve ever met, smart, loyal and beautiful. I think you’re mistaken about the underage bargirls in Thailand though. Thai women just look young. Did you ask these girls their age? See their ID? The only place you would see underage girls is in the Thai karaoke bars outside of the tourist destinations which I highly doubt you went to on your little holidays.

I’ve read a few mainstream articles about the Thai sex industry. I’m guessing you’re getting your misinformed opinions from there. Anyway, I’ll leave it at that. If everyone had the same opinions and agreed with everything, the world would be a boring place. It’s interesting to speak with people who strongly disagree with me. Have a good day.


Cunt is a great descriptive and expressive word. I’m sure a 17 year old girl has heard it before, she’ll be ok.


It’s not the word - I’m well acquainted with that word - it’s the irony of somebody who speaks and thinks like a toddler telling someone to open their mind.


I actually haven’t. Looked it up though. Is this really a common word now?