T Nation

What are Guys Looking for In a Girl?


#1

Hi! I’m a 17 year old girl (can’t wait for college!)

I’m just wondering what guys actually look for in girls. I’ve never had a guy interested in me. I’m not exactly looking to find a boyfriend, but it’s a bit frustrating especially since most of my friends have (or have had) boyfriends by now. I just want a guy’s perspective.

Thanks!


#2

This is a very brave question to ask on an Internet forum. I will give a helpful answer before the circus starts:

All people want different things. Don’t try and fit yourself to the mould of what ou think guys are looking for or you’ll be constantly obsessin over and trying to modify your behaviour which’ll leave you miserable. As cliche as it is: just be the best version of yourself and eventually you’ll meet someone who loves that about you.

Or you won’t, and you’ll die alone. Also a possibility.

Obviously you can fix the obvious stuff like not being gross and overweight, or smelling terrible, but in terms of personality then you just have to take your chances with what you’ve got.


#3

Thanks for the advice!


#4

@anna_5588 This about sums it up I think. There is no prototypical “guy” - I’d recommend you drop that notion right now as it’s just not helpful to think of “guys” as some sort of monolith.

You’re 17 and about to go to college (evidently) - I don’t know where you’re from; if you’re from a large or small community - metropolitan or rural and what kind of variety of people you are naturally surrounded with but, depending on where you’re going to college, your world will expand by virtue of being somewhere else with new people.

Much like Yogi suggested, focus on yourself and being the best person you can be - foster and pursue your interests because they interest you. If you DO want to meet a guy, foster an interest that caters to both sexes and pursue it - for example, say you are an outdoors active person - go join a rock climbing club or some outdoors club at your new college … dollars to donuts this club will have a good mix of guys and girls BUT do not do this with the expectation of meeting a guy, do it because you genuinely want to and you’ll be all the more satisfied.

Best of luck.


#5

In what context? What kind of guy? For what?

The actual answer is “the same as what you want in a guy, but female”

A college freshman is looking for a hookup, generally speaking. They are looking for a female who says “yes”, preferably not fat.

And there are different kinds of girls guys look for in different context. There are hot bar skanks guys would kill to sleep with or even date a bit, but would never take home to mother.

So figure out what kind of guy you want in what context.


#6

On the superficial side; be healthy fit and clean. Figure out what look works for you. Works for your build, hair, face and life style. The male gender is visually driven and it’s easy for you to attend to those things. Doing so also helps you with girls and getting jobs etc.

Regarding interaction with guys. If there are 3 girls in a group, the girl a guy is most likely to like is the one who smiles at him or otherwise expresses some interest. So, if you like a guy, laugh at his jokes, show interest in what he has to say and smile at him. This will work most the time but learn to recognize when a guy is just not into you because some times they won’t be. Recognize it and shift gears. A guy you flashed interest to but didn’t make feel uncomfortable when he didn’t respond, will think you’re a cool chick… and he will have friends.

On the character side, always be positive and never say anything bad about anybody. Not to their face and especially not behind their back. Always seek to understand where people are coming from, what’s motivating them and learn to empathize instead of being judgmental. Let me reword that since everyone is judgmental and we would be stupid not to be. Be judgmental with understanding. The understanding part is the only part that ever gets said out loud.

I think what Polo & Yogi touched on about developing interests and getting involved in activities is really good advise. Not just for meeting guys but for meeting people in general and becoming a more interesting person. Also understand that college will be a social game changer. People who fly under the radar in HS often shine in college.


#7

Anna, I just skimmed your training log and I want to tell you I’m very impressed! Not very many people are as self motivated at such a young age and able to train consistently with such purpose. When I was 15, 16, 17 I trained but never was able to stay consistent. I typically would train for a month then skip a month. I have a 17 year old son (oh hey!) who I make train. He does take pride in his lifts but he wouldn’t be doing it if I didn’t insist.

Anyway, great job with what you’re doing!


#8

I had a ton of smart ass answers to this and I see she is a minor.

Be yourself and don’t worry about guys. They are a waste of time until they hit 25 :joy:


#9

I’m sure you did hog haha. I thought the same myself, but had to resist.


#10

I was at a restaurant last night and there was host/bartender/manager who was very pretty, I believe in good shape. I honestly didn’t notice, because she was extremely confident and witty. I found her confidence more attractive than anything.

For me, a woman who can communicate well and is confident is more important than typical ‘physical ideals’.

To be honest, this wasn’t something I wanted until I was 22… when I met my future wife. Most dudes won’t be worth the time until mid 20s.


#11

I’m pretty new to this group and when I first read your question I was almost afraid to read the responses ash so many people on the internet are just profane jerks. I was very impressed by the thoughtful and respectful replies and the majority was excellent advice to boot. I second what many have said. Concentrate on yourself and your classes and being the best version of yourself you can be. Always take care of yourself number one. A kind, smart, confident woman will have no problem finding men. Join clubs that genuinely interest you and find ways to be social and meet guys with similar interests away from the parties and alcohol. There’s nothing wrong with relaxing and going out to parties but that’s probably not where you’re going to find the guys with the best intentions always. I dont know how sheltered or not of a life you have now but some of the more sheltered people have a propensity for going off the deep end, everything in moderation l.Best of luck to you.


#12

Mandatory: vagina, ass
Desirable: tits, hygene
Bonus: teeth, no fat rolls with mould growing within


#13

I think the advice here is fantastic.

In my experience, the people who end up in the happiest relationships (I’m assuming this is the end goal), are the ones who learnt to live their own lives first. Find your passions and follow them. Learn self reliance physically, emotionally and financially.


#14

LOL!!!
I have a vagina, still working on the ass, no tits, good hygene and teeth, definitely no fat rolls
3.5/4, I’d day I’m don’t okay


#15

Thanks! I’ve started Candito 6- week strength so training log’s fallen by the wayside. Good luck with your son!


#16

In college, dudes are gonna throw themselves at any female.

So what’s more important here is what are you looking for in a guy.


#17

Lol, preach


#18

As already mentioned young lady… You won’t need to worry about attracting a young man in college. You just need to be picky and put things in prospective.


#19

Lots of great advice in here. No matter what you want from guys right now you’re going to be well-served by developing yourself in whatever ways you find meaningful. Academics, athletics, hobbies, volunteering, and socializing are great ways to spend your time along with anything else you find fulfilling. These are all ways to gain life experience that will make you into a more well-rounded person that will increase your chances of attracting a quality male that you’re compatible with.

To give you some male perspective around your age as best I can (I’m 38, so not TOO old), my 18 year-old stepson is a very fit 6’1" hockey player who is quite handsome. He’s a senior in high school right now and he’s had girls sending him unsolicited nudes, sexting him and more or less throwing themselves at him since he’s been a freshman.

From a guy’s perspective, that’s not as great as it sounds, not when you’re still a child. Adolescent boys are not equipped to process all of that, even if they can enjoy it on a superficial level. He had to deal with the fuckboy reputation he earned as a sophomore when he was nailing everything in sight (thankfully with condoms). He cooled off his junior year and basically stayed away from girls for almost a year, taking up Fortnight and other online gaming with his buddies. Coming up on graduation, he’s finally got a girlfriend who has left a really good impression on me and his mother and he’s starting to think about the importance of females above and beyond getting his dick wet. She’s pulling him in good directions and I’m happy for both of them.

Who knows if it will work out? By all odds it probably won’t, but maybe it will. They both seem to be trying and not just using each other for sex. No matter what, I’m proud of him for learning how to differentiate between girls who want to use him for sex and girls who think something more of him.

I’ve never raised girls, but I imagine you have to navigate the same sort of situations.

Best of luck to you, and I don’t have a grim outlook for any 17 year-old who keeps a workout log on T-Nation. I’m sure you’ll do fine!


#20

Thanks for the perspective.
I’m definitely not looking for sex and will work on improving myself
I hope your son’s relationship works out if he’s happy with it. He sounds like a very accomplished and successful person.