T Nation

What a Man's Breakfast Looks Like


Look at that. You start out with some of those little jello shots to warm up your digestive tract or whatever. I don’t even know what’s in those things because all the writing is asian, but they taste good.

You move on to the plate. You wish you had that sitting in front of you. That’s 5 eggs, got some salt, got some pepper. What’s that next to the eggs? That’s a motherfucking pickle with the skin off because that shit has a bunch of pesticides on it. Now, you can either eat the eggs or the pickle first, or you can alternate bites of egg and pickle.

You can also cut up the pickle and toss it right into the eggs, but fuck that, that’s pussy shit. Real men bite pickles. Got some sausage cut up tossed in the egg, not too much, not too little. That shit takes so long to peel though, so definitely not too much.

What do we have next? That’s some motherfucking whole milk right there. Fuck glasses; you drink that straight from the plastic thing. Now, that will probably last you about 2 hours. You’re definitely gonna wanna finish it before your workout. A gallon of milk before and a gallon after.

That’s not even the end of it. I’m gonna post more when I’m done with this, see what I’m up for.

Who’s gonna rival my feast?

There’s extra room on your plate.

Shit, I eat that while i’m waiting for my steak to cook.

[quote]Otep wrote:
There’s extra room on your plate.

[/quote]

LOL. When I first looked at the picture, I thought to myself “That doesnt look like a lot.” But once he said it was 5 eggs, I just realized the plate is the size of a large pizza box.

[quote]Artem wrote:
That’s a motherfucking pickle with the skin off because that shit has a bunch of pesticides on it. [/quote]

Congratulations. This is the gayest thing I’ve ever heard.

You can’t be badass and going around typing ‘mutherfucker’ and then go cutting skins off pickles…

imhungry-- x2: This is an appetizer :wink:

[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:
Otep wrote:
There’s extra room on your plate.

LOL. When I first looked at the picture, I thought to myself “That doesnt look like a lot.” But once he said it was 5 eggs, I just realized the plate is the size of a large pizza box.[/quote]

Not that that’s any excuse… right?


Part of a well balanced diet.

i cant stop laughing

read the part where it says

REAL MEN BITE PICKLES

so gay!! lmao

and really how bored do you have to be to do this?


Apologies, not the best quality picture I know, but this is a REAL man’s breakfast. Bacon, Sausage, cockles and the black stuff that looks a lot like cow shit is called laverbread and believe it or not, it is fucking delicious and packed full of nutrients. Google it, read about it on Wikipedia and then add it to your diet. If you can get hold of it that is!

Taffy_Duck – AWESOME!

I’m gonna go ahead and guess you don’t cut the goddammed skins off your pickles (which are probably stuffed with cockles and sausage).

[quote]Taffy_Duck wrote:
Apologies, not the best quality picture I know, but this is a REAL man’s breakfast. Bacon, Sausage, cockles and the black stuff that looks a lot like cow shit is called laverbread and believe it or not, it is fucking delicious and packed full of nutrients. Google it, read about it on Wikipedia and then add it to your diet. If you can get hold of it that is![/quote]

Yeah, real men eat cockles.

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
i cant stop laughing

read the part where it says

REAL MEN BITE PICKLES

so gay!! lmao

and really how bored do you have to be to do this?[/quote]

I think the fact that you pointed that out, makes YOU gay.

It’s not like he said that he sucks the juice from the pickle and swallows it.

Um, the fact that I just wrote the above statement could be perceived as being gay, also. But, it’s not.

Dante+Justin Harris want to speak with you.


There’s that milk I was telling you guys about.
We have some PB and J on a bagel here. We don’t have bread, so this will do. We’ve got that big ass jar of 2 in 1 PB and J for like a buck fiddy. Go out and buy that shit; tell me you don’t get huge.

So we have like 4, 5, maybe 7 layers of that shit on each bagel, like half the jar. I found Santa’s cookie stash and I ate some of those while making this PB and J, but here’s 2 so you guys see what these bad boys look like.

Also included is a banana because we have some and I need to get my motherfucking potassium.

[quote]imhungry wrote:
Ct. Rockula wrote:
i cant stop laughing

read the part where it says

REAL MEN BITE PICKLES

so gay!! lmao

and really how bored do you have to be to do this?

I think the fact that you pointed that out, makes YOU gay.

It’s not like he said that he sucks the juice from the pickle and swallows it.

Um, the fact that I just wrote the above statement could be perceived as being gay, also. But, it’s not.[/quote]

yeah, that sentence just made you gay lol

I will also be removing the skin from the banana if that’s OK with you guys.

[quote]Artem wrote:
I will also be removing the skin from the banana if that’s OK with you guys.[/quote]

Is the banana old enough to give consent to such a procedure?

old meme is old

[quote]imhungry wrote:
Shit, I eat that while i’m waiting for my steak to cook.[/quote]

LOL @ Mans Breakfast

are you working up to the breakfast part?

[quote]Artem wrote:
I will also be removing the skin from the banana if that’s OK with you guys.[/quote]

How much of it are you planning to eat?

Like .8?

.9 maybe?