T Nation

Weird Tales From Work!

I work at a 24 hr Fizzle, and something weird happened the other month. This mid age couple came up (far from perfect-looking people), and the woman says “This is my husband Ricky ----- and he wants to cancel his membership”. Then he starts to speak “My wife is added on to my acc…”- and she interrupts him saying “We don’t want to make this complicated now”. Ok, I take care of whatever is the issue by referring them to a manager, but the woman says that he needs to come up when he’s off of work. I say “sir, when do you get off of work?”, I look at the man, but he doesnt get a word in before the woman replies “At 5!” The man hangs down his head and just stands there as if he wants to speak. By this time I just tell the woman “well, let him come in after 5 then, the manager will still be here”. “Good” she replies-"'Cause we dont want anything to be COMPLICATED". She takes her husband and they go out the door.

I dont know how he didnt kill himself in the first year of marriage, but it would be mighty funny if someone spiked his tofu with a tiny bit of TRIBEX and watch the T-induced awakening of this man from having a vagina wrapped around his head so tight all day that he can’t even think for himself!

Then there was the transvestite who was barred from using the womens locker room until the surgery was complete. NO this is completely true, and when I start my own gym “The Iron Pit”, I WILL have a rule “no freaks allowed!”

She probably keeps his balls in her purse so she can hit him over the head with them when he starts to think. Thats O.K. though, I heard that after a while they don’t even miss them.

The best scene for handling a woman was in a Jimmy Cagney movie (Public Enemy?). This woman is babbling and and going on and on and he takes a grapefruit off the table and smashes it into her face and goes shaddupp!