Hey guys,
Why not use the “official” T-Nation whacky stories thread:
http://www.t-nation.com/readTopic.do?id=480680
It’s full of all that gym stuff that’s funny, annoying, or just plain crazy.
Plenty of “toe-nail-clipping one-leg-up-on-the-sink naked-old-men” stories too. 
Phew! I’m glad I’d just finished my morning oatmeal before I wrote that one! LOL
My wife went to the gym yesterday while I was at work. As always someone left the 100lb plates on it so she asked some older guy who lifts there to give her a hand. She said that he told her a funny story while taking them off.
Several years ago there were more hardcore people in my gym and one of them was very hardcore about using the hipsled. I guess at one point he had 1200 lbs loaded onto it and went around asking people to come help spot him, on the hipsled.
I’m so gonna get kicked out of gym someday for yelling at morons like that.
Yesterday there was an older guy (60-ish?), kind of scruffy looking and a little pudgy, with a baggy sweatshirt and baggy blue sweatpants that were – I kid you not – worn so low that he was showing 6 inches of ass crack!! He walked around like this, sat on the benches like this . . . it was un-freaking-believable! Over a decade of time spent in gyms and I have NEVER seen that one before.
[quote]Damici wrote:
Yesterday there was an older guy (60-ish?), kind of scruffy looking and a little pudgy, with a baggy sweatshirt and baggy blue sweatpants that were – I kid you not – worn so low that he was showing 6 inches of ass crack!! He walked around like this, sat on the benches like this . . . it was un-freaking-believable! Over a decade of time spent in gyms and I have NEVER seen that one before.[/quote]
I wish I hadn’t been having lunch when I read this…
These type of posts should have a disclaimer at the top.
Man…what kind of sick, jacked up gyms do all you guys work out at!!!
I was just telling a few coworkers about stuff like this, there’s always something wacky happening everyday at my gym. Today I’m at the gym post shower/dressed and now I’m shaving when this out of shape older way out of shape guy comes over to the sink next to me NAKED!!! to brush his teeth and shave. The guy on the other side of him looked over and we both had a look like what the #%$! is this guy doing we don’t want to see that.
I don’t care if you’re in shape/out of shape Old/young I’m not in the locker room to see that just trying to shower get dressed and go to work. The other thing that killed me were these guys doing curls sitting on a bench pulled over to the dumbbell racks that are a 1\2 a foot away from the rack so you can’t get in there to get your weights. I guess being closer to the mirror makes em look bigger.
My gym LA Fitness.
At 16 I witnessed a older lady probably in her late 30’s early 40’s wearing red tights working out on one of those leg abducter or adductor machines. I happened to stare at her crotch area and see it sweating like a whore at church. I couldn’t help but continue to stare and get a hard on.
Hey I was 16!!!
[quote]nanjingldv wrote:
My gym LA Fitness.
At 16 I witnessed a older lady probably in her late 30’s early 40’s wearing red tights working out on one of those leg abducter or adductor machines. I happened to stare at her crotch area and see it sweating like a whore at church. I couldn’t help but continue to stare and get a hard on.
Hey I was 16!!![/quote]
PRICELESS!!!
At my 24Hr we have the “Interpretive Workout Dude”. If you can imagine someone doing artsy-fartsy-stupid-ass interpretive dancing and combine that with the worst form known to mankind for everything you’ll have a pretty good idea of what he looks like.
Easiest exercise to describe would be his Interpretive Dips. Picture the guy… youngish… slender… wearing tights and a sweatshirt facing a dip station. Hands on the bars, head and back bowed as though attempting to form a “C” with his body. Then, he leaps into his Interpretive Dip arching his back dramatically and throwing his head back so his body forms a reverse “C”. He holds this posture for a brief second and then collapses back into his starting position “C”. After a few warm up reps, he bangs these things out quickly yet maintains his dramatic pauses in the forward and backward “C” positions.
People watching is about the only thing that makes cardio tolerable.
[quote]~karma~ wrote:
At my 24Hr we have the “Interpretive Workout Dude”. If you can imagine someone doing artsy-fartsy-stupid-ass interpretive dancing and combine that with the worst form known to mankind for everything you’ll have a pretty good idea of what he looks like.
Easiest exercise to describe would be his Interpretive Dips. Picture the guy… youngish… slender… wearing tights and a sweatshirt facing a dip station. Hands on the bars, head and back bowed as though attempting to form a “C” with his body. Then, he leaps into his Interpretive Dip arching his back dramatically and throwing his head back so his body forms a reverse “C”. He holds this posture for a brief second and then collapses back into his starting position “C”. After a few warm up reps, he bangs these things out quickly yet maintains his dramatic pauses in the forward and backward “C” positions.
People watching is about the only thing that makes cardio tolerable.[/quote]
That is hilarious, AND glamorous…
I’ve yet to see an interpretive workout guy. Aww man I can’t wait.
Good stuff
[quote]Massif wrote:
I saw this old Greek guy standing on a chair drying his nutsack. He was in front of one of those hot-air blowing hand driers, but he had turned the nozzle upside down so the air would shoot up under his balls.
[/quote]
I am so happy to train at home…
aside from my gym being a haven for dudes who don’t believe in working out their legs (we only have one squat rack, and a total of maybe seven people [including myself and my gym buddy] use it), i think that the funniest thing i’ve seen was a guy struggling on the bench, only to have a friend come from the side and lift the o-bar by one side, almost toppling the whole thing.
and then, of course, there’s the big hairy guy with the cut off denim shorts that, with one wrong move, can cause a testicle to come hanging out of one of the sides.
At my old gym there was an older guy that we used to call Rick Flair, do to his resemblence of the aging WWF superstar (of WOOOO! fame…). Watching this guy was one of the funniest things i had ever seen, regardless of the exercise he was doing. One good one was when he would get into the Hammer Strength incline machine, loaded with 4-5 plates per side (keep in mind that this guy is at least 60 and by no means muscular, or even in shape).
He would put his hands on the handles while still standing and throw himself in to the seat, using his body weight to get the weight up. While it was funny to see an old guy moving that fast, the better part woul dbe that he would let out his very best Bruce Lee “HEEEEE YAH!” and then proced to SLAM the weight down against the rubber stops so that it would bounce more than halfway back to the lock-out position (not let the weight fall to the stops, but forcefully pull it towards himself).
While the hammer strength was funny, it was when he did alternating curls that realy got me. He would pick up 15-20 lb. DB’s and swing his arms like he was running in place (i dont know he never hit himself in the face…). I had many a set ruined by uncontrollable laughter whenever Rick would work out near us.
Oh, and we had a guy that was at least 250 solid, but looked EXACTLY like Eric Estrada (Ponch from CHiPS)…
[quote]~karma~ wrote:
At my 24Hr we have the “Interpretive Workout Dude”. If you can imagine someone doing artsy-fartsy-stupid-ass interpretive dancing and combine that with the worst form known to mankind for everything you’ll have a pretty good idea of what he looks like.[/quote]
My wife saw this same person at the 24hr fitness in downtown Portland. He must have been traveling. =)
LJ
[quote]~karma~ wrote:
At my 24Hr we have the “Interpretive Workout Dude”. If you can imagine someone doing artsy-fartsy-stupid-ass interpretive dancing and combine that with the worst form known to mankind for everything you’ll have a pretty good idea of what he looks like.
[/quote]
Interpretive workout dude…LMFAO!!!
This thread is funny as hell!
I’ll just name a few regulars at my gym.
A guy that grunts every single rep.
A guy that does cleans with 135 and then proceeds to drop the weight to the floor from shoulder level every rep!
Way to many old wrinkly naked guys at the sinks and outside the sauna.
Way to many old Philipino women in 80s spandex.
Way to much Under Armour on guys that shouldn’t be wearing it.
A Leg Press with 5s on it looks pretty funny. I’ve also seen a seated calf raise with one 5lb plate, haha.
[quote]Chief wrote:
This thread is funny as hell!
A Leg Press with 5s on it looks pretty funny.
Actually, the more I think bout it, the funnier it seems. [/quote]
Here is one I just remembered. There was an old man(~early 60’s) lifting weights in a v-neck t-shirt, dress slacks and dress shoes. And holy shit, when he was done with his workout, he walked over to a coat rack next to the front desk and put on his dress shirt and tie and walked out. Old men are fucking hilarious.
Here in Texas I have come across many ‘cowboy lifters’. They work out in a button-down shirt, tight wranglers, and boots.
There is only one where I am at now but he always brings a smile to my face.
[quote]YGuy wrote:
A friend of mine witnessed a guy stroking it in the dry sauna at our local Y and I’ve seen nude men with one leg up on the bench putting deoderant on their nut sacks. Also, plenty of nude shaving going on.
A[/quote]
That’s what goddamn baby powder is for. Miserable fuckers.
We had a guy that wouldnt train unless he got high first,he fell over backwards 2 times that i know of while doing squats.When he did inclines he would push the bar up and sit it on his chin then try to push from there.he didnt want you to spot him,then usually he would get stuck and yell for help.on days when the gym was humid his weights would slide off one side of the bar and the bar would fly out of his hands.The dude stunk real bad and it was funny to watch when he went to an area everybody would keep movin to other areas of the gym to get away from the stench.