T Nation

Wedding Toasts

I need some help writing one, and I know a lot of you guys are married and might have heard a good one or two. This isn’t for a wedding for me so go easy.

I can assume, then, you’re the best man? How do you know the groom? What do you respect about him? What has SHE done for him that you admire (and I’m not talking about the mind-bending blow job, but has she made him more happy, mellowed him, etc)? Are they an example of a happy couple that others might want to emulate?

Maybe that will give you a few ideas.

I’m assuming you’re the best man so I’ll add to the above (which is a good start).

A wedding speech wouldn’t be complete without the best man telling a couple funny or embarrassing stories about the groom. Note: Don’t mention anything about those prostitutes in Mexico :slight_smile:

Generally the best man makes a comment about how good the bridesmaids look as well.

Bump!
I have a wedding this Saturday as well…and any ideas would be appreciated!

May the best days of your past be the worst days of your future.

I had to do a speach a couple of weeks ago. Everybody complimented me on how good it was even though I was nervous.

My secret!..
http://www.hitched.co.uk/speeches/index.asp

Check it out, it has hundreds of toasts and speaches.
Its a British site, I had to Canadianize my speach.

To help lighten the mood, you could hand out a bunch of keys to girls in attendance before-hand, and as you begin your toast ask all the ladies to bring up their keys because your buddy is finally off the market.

Never seen it done but it would be funny.

Seriously though, don’t drink until after the toast. If you do have to drink during the limo ride do yourself the favour and limit yourself to one or two. Nothing is worse than seeing a dude flail, stumble and mumble around while he’s trying to tell one of his best friends how special he and his bride are in front of their families…

Should you choose to let forth an embarrassing story about the bride or groom, ensure that it’s PG enough so that the whole crowd can enjoy it.

A good format for you to follow might be like this…

  1. Stand up, clink your glass, get everyone’s attention.

  2. Thank the attendees for coming to join the cellebration.

  3. Introduce yourself, include how appreciative and downright flattered you are for being chosen as the toastmaster, but don’t spend too much time on yourself. It’s about the bride and groom, not you.

  4. Go into the embarrasing story at this point if you chose to do one, it shouldn’t be a story that needs a lot of foreshadowing, something simple and brief.

  5. Now go into a quick story that displays the character of the groom, something that makes him look good in front of his inlaws.

  6. Raise the champagne glass, ask everyone in the room to do the same, look toward the couple, lean back a little, put your other hand in your pants pocket, congratulate the bride and groom, wish them the best of luck, say a hearty “salut” and you’re all done.

Hope that helps, good luck.

Here are a few I pulled off the web:

A toast from a brother -
It took my bother 19 years of beatings, of arguments and threats for him to figure out who the best man really is?(pause for laughter). I wish Sue and Bob nothing but the best. I hope you two have nothing but good times ahead. Always love each other, always respect each other and always be there for each other.

Example 1: Congratulations on the termination of your isolation, and may I express my appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration that has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make this unification and bring an accumulation to the population. So as I end my toast to this occasion, and wrap up my salutation, I raise my glass to this combination, and bid good luck to the consummation! So cheers, and on with the celebration!

To the bride:
“Love, be true to her;
Life, be dear to her;
Health, stay close to her;
Joy, draw near to her;
Fortune, find what you can do for her,
Search your treasure-house through and through for her,
Follow her footsteps the wide world over –
And keep her husband always her lover.”
http://images.della.com/images/clr.gifAnna Lewis, “To the bride”

Here’s to the bride. May your hours of joy be as numerous as the petals of your bridal bouquet.

A health to you,
A wealth to you,
And the best that life can give to you.
May fortune still be kind to you,
And happiness be true to you,
And life be long and good to you,
Is the toast of all your friends to you.

Down the hatch, to a striking match!

“Marriage: A community consisting of a master, a mistress,
and two slaves - making in all, two.”
http://images.della.com/images/clr.gifAmbrose Bierce

To the newlyweds: May “for better or worse” be far better than worse.

“There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people
who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding
their enemies and delighting their friends.”
http://images.della.com/images/clr.gifHomer, Odyssey,
http://images.della.com/images/clr.gifninth century B.C.

“May you grow old on one pillow.”
http://images.della.com/images/clr.gifArmenian toast

“Two such as you with such a master speed
Cannot be parted nor be swept away
From one another once you are agreed
That life is only life forevermore
Together wing to wing and oar to oar”
http://images.della.com/images/clr.gifRobert Frost

“It’s still the same old story,
A fight for love and glory,
A case of do or die!
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by.”
http://images.della.com/images/clr.gifFrom the song “As Time Goes
http://images.della.com/images/clr.gifBy” by Herman Hupfeld.

And their misfortunes as light as the foam.
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of
two chemical substances; if there is any reaction,
both are transformed.”
http://images.della.com/images/clr.gifCarl Jung

“Love does not consist in gazing at each other,
but in looking outward in the same direction.”
http://images.della.com/images/clr.gifAntoine de Saint-Exupery

“Here’s to marriage, that happy estate that resembles a pair of scissors:
‘So joined that they cannot be separated,
often moving in opposite directions, yet punishing
anyone who comes between them.’”
http://images.della.com/images/clr.gifSydney Smith

Here’s to the new husband
And here’s to the new wife
May they remain lovers
For all of life.

May their joys be as deep as the ocean.

Let us toast the health of the bride;
Let us toast the health of the groom,
Let us toast the person that tied;
Let us toast every guest in the room.

May we all live to be present at their Golden Wedding.
May your love be as endless as your wedding rings.

May the saints protect you
And sorrow neglect you
And bad luck to the one
That doesn’t respect you

“May you have many children
and may they grow mature in taste
and healthy in color
and as sought after
as the contents of the glass.”
http://images.della.com/images/clr.gifIrish toast

May your wedding days be few and your anniversaries many.

May your voyage through life be as happy and as free
As the dancing waves on the deep blue sea

Here’s to the groom with bride so fair,
And here’s to the bride with groom so rare!

Here’s to marriage: one soul in two bodies.

May thy life be long and happy,
Thy cares and sorrows few;
And the many friends around thee
Prove faithful, fond and true.

“Lack nothing: be merry.”
http://images.della.com/images/clr.gifShakespeare, from Henry IV

“Heaven give you many, many merry days!”
http://images.della.com/images/clr.gifShakespeare, from
http://images.della.com/images/clr.gifThe Merry Wives of Windsor

May every day be happier than the last.
Let’s drink to love, which is nothing – unless it’s divided by two.

To the wings of love:
May they never lose a feather,
But soar up to the sky above,
And last and last forever.

As Shakespeare said in Romeo and Juliet,
may “a flock of blessings light upon thy back.”

“Look down you gods, and on this couple drop a blessed crown.”
http://images.della.com/images/clr.gifShakespeare, from The Tempest

Here’s to this fine couple.
May their joys be as bright as the morning,
and their sorrows but shadows that fade in the sunlight of love.