T Nation

Ways to Mess with a Filthy Flatmate

So my flatmate is a pig, and saying that is insulting pigs.

I wanna wage some psychological warfare to freak him the fuck out, before I move out. Seriously, I need armour and a sword to combat the cockroaches and rats that thrive in his part of the flat.

Think I’m exaggerating? Check out these pics I took this morning:

Help! He’s beyond repair. Now I just want revenge for cleaning the place by myself for 18months. I move out in two weeks

Make one last hurrah and clean up the joint.

Put all trash from the event in his bed.

gas can and some matches.

I’ve had to deal with a disgusting roomate before. One of my good friends too from High School. Move out. Best thing for the friendship.

Bare ass his bed pillow

First get him completely hammered. Like, blackout hammered. Next get a corpse (whatever matches his sexual preference) and put it with him, in his bed, with a dead rat stuffed in its mouth.

Shit on his dick?

You should get an even nastier roommate for the last couple of weeks.

Move all your stuff out and let a hooker use your room for tricks…living room too.

Have her put her condoms and period soaked panties in a bag and sling the bag on his door like a water balloon

Invite jehovahs witnesses over for him

just go into his room and throw up on his bed

[quote]Alex Good wrote:
First get him completely hammered. Like, blackout hammered. Next get a corpse (whatever matches his sexual preference) and put it with him, in his bed, with a dead rat stuffed in its mouth.[/quote]
I like this idea…

Elephant tranquilizers and a dog in heat.

Every day- piece by piece, get rid of one item that he leaves laying around. As you do this subtly drop hints that he doesn’t actually exist. Become more persistent with this over time. Eventually as he becomes convinced of this as the proof that it is true will be apparent by the lack of anything that he used to defined himself. Tell him that he is a figment of his own imagination, and not even a very good one at that.

He’ll know what to do next.

grind up his parents and make chili out of them and invite him to join you for a chili dinner.

Have you tried hitting him?

[quote]Aggv wrote:
Have you tried hitting him? [/quote]

He should definitely put it in his pooper.

http://tnation.T-Nation.com/free_online_forum/music_movies_girls_life/Pranks_and_Scares
Skip down to anything written by DBCooper. Especially the very long bit he posted about engaging his terrible roommate in psychological warfare (1st page near the bottom, he had quoted me in the same post).

[quote]Sharp4850 wrote:
http://tnation.T-Nation.com/free_online_forum/music_movies_girls_life/Pranks_and_Scares
Skip down to anything written by DBCooper. Especially the very long bit he posted about engaging his terrible roommate in psychological warfare (1st page near the bottom, he had quoted me in the same post).[/quote]

Yeah well, if we are looking to the accumulated wisdom of TN, shitting in his skillet is definitely an option.

I had a co-worker who was slob. I started supergluing his stuff to tables when he left it around. He got the hint.

Bahahahahahha these are excellent. He’s not gonna know what hit him