[quote]If this is too harsh for you, just ignore it. But seriously dude? You can’t eat and exercise like a normal person for a month without wanting to kill yourself? That’s pathetic. You’re on a website filled with people who follow strict diets and exercise rigorously every single day. You aren’t going to find any sympathy here.
I agree that test c should be administered e3d, but 200mg of test cyp once is no where near enough to shut you down. Test C/E take weeks before you “notice” any kind of effect at all. Further, it’s fairly obvious when somebody has hypogonadism. If your bloodwork is normal, the problem is not your hormones, it’s in your head.
Sounds to me like you are overweight and depressed. Instead of blaming your doctor/hormones/every medical condition under the sun for your problems, why don’t you grow the fuck up, stick to a diet and get the results you want? [/quote]
No, I can’t. I’ve dealt with severe depression since I was 13. I’ve tried every anti-depressant known to man (or, at least, those that the FDA has approved). I’m currently on Welbutrin and Cymbalta, and that doesn’t do very much. The pros? I don’t generally feel as extreme ‘down’ periods like last night and… well, that’s the only pro. The cons? I never feel any ‘up’ periods, I’m losing interest in my SO (both sexually and emotionally, which both came back 2 weeks after I stopped taking the meds, the one time I tried to stop), I can’t orgasm from sex, it takes me 40 minutes to orgasm from masturbation, and I yawn incessantly and feel a bit more tired. So, basically, I’m stuck taking meds that have massive cons with the only pro being that I haven’t killed myself yet.
The reason I feel suicidal much of the time is a complete lack of energy and desire to do anything (including living). You know what eating food does? It releases endorphins. You know what feeling hungry does? Well, it certainly isn’t releasing any endorphins. I feel fairly constantly ‘hungry’ when I’m eating less than 3,000 kcal a day. Restricting myself to 1,800 kcal a day makes me feel hungry to the point of being in moderate to severe discomfort for most of the day (and don’t try to tell me that it’ll go away when you get used to it, I restricted myself to that diet strictly, not once going above 1800 calories, from Jan. 1, 2010 to March 1, 2010, and it never got any better… a full two months of feeling uncomfortably hungry all the goddamn time).
My bloodwork isn’t normal. I’m extremely hypogonadic. My TT at 8 AM was 151 ng/dL at my last test. My FT was at 36 pg/mL. My TSH is at 2.99, which is likely a problem. My cortisol levels are seriously low. My LH and FSH are seriously low.
I had an undescended testicle that wasn’t treated until I was 19 - shouldn’t that have been an alarm to my GP that maybe, just maybe, something’s wrong? A testosterone test is a fucking easy blood test to run. He never even checked my thyroid until I was 21. I had to bring up the topic of low T myself after looking in to it, and he told me outright that “you don’t have hypogonadism, it’s just in your head.” and only gave me the test after I insisted.
I recognize that it’s possible that my tiredness/depression/low energy over the past week could be nocebo, but I find it unlikely. I felt no improvement in mood from the shot, and a severe reduction in mood starting day 4. For the record, it is T cyp.
Grow the fuck up? Fuck you. I’m trying to deal with my issues, and the last fucking thing I need to hear is “grow up”. I’m in therapy to help deal with the physical and mental abuse and neglect I grew up with, I’m seeing a psychiatrist for meds, and I’m trying to get my hypogonadism and possible hypothyroidism treated. I’ve tried restricting myself to a reasonable and healthy diet (e.g. 1800 kcal/daily focusing on whole foods and protein) a bunch of times, and every time it ends with me feeling suicidal within a month or two. I’ve tried exercising every other day, and that just makes me feel even more tired and negatively affects my work performance. What more am I supposed to do?
I’ve managed to lose 35 pounds in the past year, but anything beyond that seems unattainable. I literally do not lose weight on a 2,300 kcal restricted diet. I’ve been on it for three months, and I’ve lost 5 pounds (maybe, weight fluctuates too much to be certain). How is that even possible? I’m 315 lbs, 5’ 10", I should be losing weight even if I were consuming 3,000 kcal/daily. My BMR is 2761.05 kcal/day, that’s if I were sitting in bad all day long. I don’t. I get up, I go for walks with my dog, I clean, I work, I have sex, I weightlift semi-regularly, etc. I should be burning at least 3,000 kcal/daily, and I’m clearly not. So fuck you, and anyone else (like my parents) that thinks that this is all in my head.