To be blunt, my GP is a douchebag, and I’m looking for a new one. For the past 6 years he’s told me that the only way I’ll ever feel better is to exercise and lose weight. For the past 6 years, I’ve tried. I’ll spend about a month on a normal diet (and I mean normal - what I see everyone around me that is healthy eats - not a crash diet or anything stupid like that), and keep with exercise for most of that time, and by the end of that month I am literally one bad day away from suicide.
As for my other note, about ‘if it weren’t for the meds, I’d be suicidal’… turned out that, even with the meds, I ended up being suicidal by the end of the day. I took 4mg Xanax (4x the dose my doc recommended) and slept for the next 19 hours (1 PM to 8 AM). I still feel like shit, but at least I don’t want to kill myself… or, at least, I don’t have the energy to kill myself. Heh.
I have had suicidal thoughts since I was 13 (I’m now 23), but they usually behave more like intrusive thoughts (a la OCD); never before have they manifested in such a strong desire as they did last night. I am fairly convinced that it is due to the testosterone shot - or, rather, the withdrawal effect after the testosterone has left my body. It was my first shot; I never felt better from it, and by day 3 or 4 I felt myself getting more tired, by day 6 I was exhausted, and by day 8 I noticed my depression getting noticeably worse. The night of day 12 (last night), I was closer to suicide than I have ever been before - even when I held a knife to my throat and threatened to kill myself in front of my parents when I was 16.
I’ve had urine tests, blood tests, etc., and my GP always insisted that everything was fine. My TSH is 2.99, though, and I exhibit all o the side effects of hypogonadism - so why wasn’t that ever looked in to? Because he did things ‘by the book’, and treated only based on labwork, not symptoms, not behavior. So forgive me if you feel I’m being too harsh, but fuck doctors who go by the book, including my endocrinologist. If I had been prescribed testosterone injections every other day or every three days, I don’t think I’d be in this predicament.[/quote]
If this is too harsh for you, just ignore it. But seriously dude? You can’t eat and exercise like a normal person for a month without wanting to kill yourself? That’s pathetic. You’re on a website filled with people who follow strict diets and exercise rigorously every single day. You aren’t going to find any sympathy here.
I agree that test c should be administered e3d, but 200mg of test cyp once is no where near enough to shut you down. Test C/E take weeks before you “notice” any kind of effect at all. Further, it’s fairly obvious when somebody has hypogonadism. If your bloodwork is normal, the problem is not your hormones, it’s in your head.
Sounds to me like you are overweight and depressed. Instead of blaming your doctor/hormones/every medical condition under the sun for your problems, why don’t you grow the fuck up, stick to a diet and get the results you want?