Cousin Cliff version:
*Annual physical today: Was that really necessary?
*Getting old sucks, better start a training log.
*Introduces self: Hey all. Im an old fucker that considers himself still young in the mind. Wait, wut?
Wall of text version: (Hey, dont say I didnt warn ya.)
Longtime lurker (f-ing 09er), very rare contributor GAL mostly until todays cathartic moment.
Title: well not quite up to par with Fatima Whitbread and Her Troupe of Squirrels but I think it still accomplishes its goal; a cautionary tale nonetheless.
Rewind: So in preparation for my annual physical this morning at 9:30am I fasted from food and water since 7pm last night. Wasnt sure about cutting out water for the blood tests so I figured I should err on the side of caution and not drink any. Hell, it would only be 15 hrs or so by the time I would get back to the office so it shouldnt be that big a deal.
The visit: Starts a bit out of the ordinary in that my doctor has a rookie observing him work but no biggie. At this stage, too old to care really. Not quite drying my sac off at the hand drying station in the mens room yet but you get the picture. (Ha, what has been imagined cannot be unimagined) Meandering right alongÃ¢?Â¦ Usual questions and answers and then blood is drawn for the ensuing battery of tests. Mention to him that my memory seems to be glitching occasionally and he says welcome to the club. Then THE dreaded request to drop trow. I figure, no big and decide to just bear it. Yes, left out the word grin intentionally as the intern seemed a bit too interested in the goings on and handled the grinning part for everyone. My doctor is short in stature and his hands can best be described as, well, effeminate so I was quite mortified as he seemed to be searching all over gods green earth for my prostrate, deeper than what I felt was physically possible and or necessary. Visit concludes shortly thereafter leaving me feeling, lets just say, not quite myself. Violated comes to mind along with a strange desire to curl up, fully clothed on the floor of a shower stall with the water running down my face. Sorry, I digress.
The office: Still feeling a bit out of sorts so I quickly slam a bottle of water before pouring and drinking my 1st cup of coffee. Then mix a protein drink shortly after to go along with the PB&J I packed earlier knowing I would be starving. Alas, all begins to be right in the world again as I mix the creatine with my 2nd cup of coffee. The mental images of the earlier ass raping quickly fade as they are replaced with new and improved visions of PRs that will be achieved this afternoon.
The gym: We have a fitness center on our property a short walk from my office. DBs up to 85, couple universal & hammer strength machines, leg press, several benches, cardio equip and, wait for it, wait for itÃ¢?Â¦ a smith machine. The walk over seemed to have jogged something loose so I proceeded to handle up in the closest stall I can find. Change and then warm up on a bike but am cut short by, yet another rumble in the jungle. Not my idea of a rest/pause routine. Finally begin my workout and cannot get past 2 sets without THAT constant interruption. Dang it! I am determined to fight thru the workout and am so thankful that a scene was not made by me requiteing out of service signs to be posted. Luckily it wasnt squat day. So there you have it, a perfect storm/PSA of sorts that has brought me to this moment. Lesson learnt.
BF% No idea, on my first bulk ever in life. Plus, no pics of me holding shoes available.
Squat 235 x 8
Bench 200 x 8
DL 300 x 7
OH Press 110 x 7
*Just started 5/3/1 so I purged all previous max lifts from my memory and profile. Started 1st cycle kinda on the low side but wanted to err on the side of caution. Onward and upward!
6:30am 3 scrambled eggs with deer sausage and toast. (Shot four deer between my son and I last season.)
Mix 1 cup oatmeal, Ã?Â½ cup cottage cheese, banana, egg, tblsp peanut butter, heaping scoop of protein powder, milk and ice all in a blender. Drink and drive to work. Pure awesomeness!
10:00am almonds, fruit and sometimes raw veggies.
12:45 Protein drink
1:00pm 1st lunch 6-8oz fish, chicken, beef or deer, raw vegetables and either sweet, baked or mashed potatoes.
4:00pm 2nd lunch same as above
7:00pm Dinner whatever the family is eating in copious amounts.
9:00pm Protein drink
Protein powder 3-4 times per day.
Creatine 1 time per day.
1000 mg Omega-3 Fish Oil 3 caps a day.
Close to a gallon of water per day.
Played college basketball for a small school in TX. Moved here in 84 sight unseen from Cleveland, OH on a full ride and have only witnessed snow flurries once in my 5 years of school so I decided this would be my home after marrying my then girlfriend who was on the womens basketball team. Helps that I love to hunt & fish and can do so pretty much year round. Basic conditioning thru college with no real weight lifting programs to speak of. After graduating I stayed active playing basketball, softball and golf. Got semi-serious about building muscle 3 or 4 years ago. Became committed to building muscle 6 mths ago.
Crown & Coke or Knob Hill & Coke but not afraid to smash my college favorite-Keystone Light.
Injuries in order of occurrence:
Reconstructed left shoulder. 3 inch wood screw holding it all together. Ã¢?? basketball
Knee surgery Ã¢?? basketball
Bulging disk, doctors wanted to fuse, told em to F-off since I was only 21 at the time Ã¢?? basketball
1st Left elbow surgery Ã¢?? golf wtf? Id rather not talk about. Bows head in shameÃ¢?Â¦
Broken left hand: surgery, plates and screws. You guessed it Ã¢?? basketball
Dislocated right foot Ã¢?? softball (Guess I was in shock as I looked at my foot hanging at a right angle just dangling there. Reached down with both hands, grabbed hold and pulled it away from my body to realign the foot over the hump. Proceeded to cuss like a sailor. Did I mention it was a church team? Kinda funny.)
2nd left elbow surgery - weights
Get body weight to 220 and then cut back to 205-210 with BF maintained in the 7-10% range
OH Press 200
Lifts may be unrealistic but again, it is a 4-year plan. 6 months ago I weighed 185.
Had a traumatic life changing experience five years ago and found lifting weights helped release stress/provided an outlet to unleash anger. Lifting became addictive. I didnt have a real program. I did full body workouts MWF or Push/Pull four days per week. Stayed in a periodic state of rehab until this last year or so. Gave up trying to hang with the young kids in the gym and on the field and have found not having to shell out the co-pays so often is kinda nice. The thought of sliding into third base still makes me cringe. I cant watch baseball highlights to this day without getting squeamish. Finally trying to train smarter and have incorporated, cough, cardio, and cough, cough, stretching before and after workouts coupled with foam rolling at night. I can confidently say that I am at my healthiest and strongest of my entire life and am excited about what the future may hold in this realm.
There you have it. I plan to start posting my daily routines Monday but cant promise daily updates as I do not have access while at work and do have three active teenagers that require my attention/presence after work for various events. I will post as often as I can and look forward to moving forward. I am very open to advice, ribbing, whatever as I know though I am older in body I am still young in mind and experience. Any direction would be greatly appreciated and accepted.