T Nation

Warrior Vegans and Constipated Bodybuilders

Having read the replies of Sigmaherb and pradip5476 to the in the reader mail section to the Warrior Nerd column in last week’s T-mag, I have acquired a
little bee in my bonnet, and my therapist has repeatedly told me that I need to “talk about my feelings, and not just bottle
up my emotions”, so I think I’m gonna have a little rant now.

While I understand that, in today’s politically correct society, one is often required to be offensively unoffensive, we do
need to get some terms out of the way. A vegetarian eats vegetables. In the truest sense of the word, a vegetarian doesn’t eat fish because fish don’t grow on trees. Hindu religious vegetarians are allowed to consume milk and milk products, and it

is they are considered a to be good, from a religious perspective, since the cow (or goat, or yak or other lactating creature), ideally, is not harmed. Vegans, in my understanding, usually do not consume milk, because they are offended by animal exploitation and keeping of cows for milikng is considered to be a form of expliotation.

With that said, to Pradip… personally I see nothing in the article which is offensive to Hinduism. I assume, because you have a guru you are either a Hindu or you belong to some fanatical cult. If you belong to a cult, then you are doubltless

about to have your compound burned down by the FBI, and you will probably not have time to read this. If, on the other hand,

you are a Hindu, as I am, you will doubtless be familiar with the philosophy of tolerance… and as far as I can see, the

article merely states another point of view, and is certainly not insulting… so I will be tolerant. Like many Hindu

athletes, one is forced to reconcile a life-philosophy that hinges on Ahimsa or "Non-injury and non-violence

towards all living entities" with the nutritional needs of athleticism. It is possible, with adequate supplementation

for a Vegan (i.e. someone who eats only plants and plant products) to have a normal healthy lifestyle and even be a very good

athlete. However, I have found that the supplementation required is often difficult and expensive. Secondly, the most

popular sources of protein supplementation are whey and casein, both of which are derived from milk. Hence, a purely Vegan

diet would not allow these, but theyr’e great for Hindus… I belt a glass of Cross-Flow Microfiltered Whey and Milk with

every meal at Pitr-paksh and Purtassi (Hindu fasting periods, where all practitioners abstain from meat for approximately a

month). In actuality, only bovine immunoglobin and egg-based proteins are unsuitable for religious vegetarians, like Hindus.

I can live with that, especially since I’ve heard that BI tastes like raw meat drippings. But anyway, it’s nice to see a

fellow Hindu with an opinion, instead of the little invertebrate variety who skulk around going “Yes sahib! No sahib”. As

Ali-G would say “Respeck!”. If Mike Mahler was Vegan, that means he skipped all the protein supplements on the market and

had soy? Did he just eat a lot of beans? Did he fart a lot?

And Janet Jackson’s breasts are hardly offensive… maybe a little saggy (it was too quick to tell), but then not everyone

can be a T-vixen, can they?

And now to the post from my esteemed colleague Sigmaherb. If you find that stuff is hanging around in your digestive system

for 3 days, it’s called constipation, and there are several products on the market that can help you. Go to your pharmacist

and ask for a “Laxative”. In South Africa, we even have one called “Surge”… try sipping on one of those after your

workout. Or simply make sure that you consume some fibre with every meal, preferably a good spread of vegetables too, and

your tight-stool malady will be ended. As for “Diet for a New America”, I haven’t read it, but then, everyoned does need

their own inspiration. Cat Stevens read the Quran and became Yusuf Islam, Iosef Vissonarovich Djugashvili read Marx’s "Das

Kapital" and became Josef Stalin, and you read “Diet for a New America” and became Sigmaherb… it’s all relative.

I’ve herard this 3-day digestion story before (and a 4-day story and a 5-day story and even a 6-day story)… and I have an

interesting, if somewhat nutty way to conduct some research on it. What you need to do is to eat several pungent chillies or

peppers with your next meat meal. Then, when you go to the toilet and feel your arse burn, you look at the time, and

determine how long it took to pass thourh your digestive system. A heavy, meaty meal with refined carbs, like a foot-long

Smoked Russian sausage in a large white roll, generally takes me about 12-24 hours to pass. On the other hand, the same

Russian on a wholegrain seed-sprinkled roll takes more like 8-16 hours. On a cyclic ketogenic diet, I find that times during

the week are a little longer, but if you eat your broccoli you’ll be just fine. The problem comes in with the carb-up,

ironically, where the “passage” times get longer as the refined carbohydrate increases.

At this point, I need to stress that I am of Indian descent, and can tolerate levels of spiciness that would kill or maim

other humans, at the entrance to and exit of my digetive system, as well as at all points inbetween. Having really spicy

meals once or twice a week is just a normal part of life for me, and tracking my bowel habits in this way is a slight

amusement for me when I seat myself upon great throne of thought… however for those who believe this 3-day nonsense, I

sincerely reccommend it as an excersise.