T Nation

Warning: Rant Ahead

I apologize to whoever reads this, but I need to rant.

One of my female friends has asked me for advice on how to “lengthen”, “tone” and “tighten” her body. Aside from ignoring the terminology she used, I am more than happy to help.

However, there are a few issues:

  1. She refuses to change her diet
  2. She refuses to squat, deadlift, row, press, etc.
  3. She does not want to “bulk up” so she refuses to lift heavy. And by heavy, I mean any weight which actually challenges her. After all, everyone knows such things are not good for women.
  4. Every article I send her, every example I send her (such as AG’s threads), and every piece of scientific support I send her she discounts because she “just wants to look like Charlize Theron”.
  5. She blames her excess weight on birth control. You have been on it for over six years honey, it is not causing you to have fat.
  6. Whenever I have tried to show her how to do an exercise properly, she refuses to do it if:

A. it causes her ass to stick out (rows, RDLs, etc) because that is “bad”
B. it would “hurt her knees” - squats, deadlifts, etc
C. it would “hurt her back” - pretty much anything other than a machine
D. It “looks weird”
E. It is hard

So what the BLOODY HELL does she expect me to do?

Sorry, just had to rant.

Girl: Help me!

daven: Okay. You must do #1, 2, and 3.

Girl: But I don’t want to! And this is not my fault anyway! And I don’t want to look stoopid! And…

daven: donkey punch

Stop wasting your time. She isn’t willing to take any of the advice you give her so what’s the point?

It seems like your growing resentful of her…it’s probably better that you let someone else “help” her.

I think she was hoping you would suggest one of those products she saw on an infomercial that magically gives her the body she wants. If she’s not willing to do those things, she obviously isn’t serious about it.

She just wants to be stretched out and sweating under a couple hundred pounds of man meat.

It’s good for the heart, lungs, will tighten and tone, whatever you want to tell her…

Just do her and do her until she is that tight, taut vixen that she always wanted to be. Then she’ll dump you.

Stinker

I stopped the inane questions from my female friends by saying, " I know everything about this and you know nothing , why are you arguing with me?"

I was never asked for advice again. And I’m a lot happier.

Give her a simple plan to do, and tell her, “Either do this, and prove to me it doesn’t work, or I’m not helping you.”

  1. Charge her for any advice you give her. People need to pay for something in order to find the value in it.

  2. You can give her the tools, but you can’t always have 100% compliance. See #1.

Same fucking problem i am having with my girlfriend. FUCK! So frustrating, so I share your pain

At first she hired a personal trainer for like 50 bucks an hour. Stupid because I seen the program she had my girlfriend on. No compound movements at all and all stupid machine shit.

Because she has had no progress, i have started teaching her some exercises like squats and deads. Apparently she feels she will get super huge working out with actual resistance. She says while doing deads “Its too heavy, i cant lift it”. Meanwhile, she has the bar lifted and she’s swaying back and forth with the bar and using a whining voice. FUCK!!

“I feel stupid”, “its too heavy” “I cant do it” I got so mad at her in the gym that I told her to fuck off and never ask me for anything else and to go back to using the swiss ball and talking on her cell phone. She finally agreed to do squats, now she is surprised how sore she is today.

Reading this just pissed ME off and I’m not even involved!

As we get older, we realize there are EVIL people out there and they cannot be fixed… they must be killed.

Well, the commedian Ron White said it best. “You can’t fix stupid!”

[quote]daven wrote:
I apologize to whoever reads this, but I need to rant.

One of my femal friends has asked me for advice on how to “lengthen”, “tone” and “tighten” her body. Aside from ignoring the terminology she used, I am more than happy to help.

However, there are a few issues:

  1. She refuses to change her diet
  2. She refuses to squat, deadlift, row, press, etc.
  3. She does not want to “bulk up” so she refuses to lift heavy. And by heavy, I mean any weight which actually challenges her. After all, everyone knows such things are not good for women.
  4. Every article I send her, every example I send her (such as AG’s threads), and every piece of scientific support I send her she discounts because she “just wants to look like Charlize Theron”.
  5. She blames her excess weight on birth control. You have been on it for over six years honey, it is not causing you to have fat.
  6. Whenever I have tried to show her how to do an exercise properly, she refuses to do it if:
    A. it causes her ass to stick out (rows, RDLs, etc) because that is “bad”
    B. it would “hurt her knees” - squats, deadlifts, etc
    C. it would “hurt her back” - pretty much anything other than a machine
    D. It “looks weird”
    E. It is hard

So what the BLOODY HELL does she expect me to do?

Sorry, just had to rant.[/quote]

ignore the bitch…

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it set a new PR in the Deadlift.

All you can do if you choose to is give her all the tools and let the educational material be there for her to read. It’s up to her to decide what to do with it. Don’t burn yourself up about this. You can’t control people so why try. Don’t stress about it.

Personally I would drop her like 3rd period French.

Ask her why she came to you for advice. When she tells you it’s because you know what you are talking about, tell her to listen to you. Remind her that you aren’t going to make her do anything that would get her “big.” Tell her if she refuses to do something or change something, then you will no longer help her.

If she still won’t do what you say, tell her to find someone else.

Hey daven I see you are in Virginia? Where about? My club is in the Alexandria area. If it would help you out she could schedule a no charge consult with me. It would make a difference hearing it from someone she doesn’t know rather than a friend.

I have dealt with the I wanna look like XXXX supermodel/movie star but I dont want to lift phenomenon many times now. Women don’t see just how much work said superstars put into their bodies.

This infuriates me all the time. Idiots ask for advice they have no intention of following. I had a roomate tho wanted to drop some fat, and when I told him to quit drinking 4 nights a week he said “Fuck that, man, I gotta drink.” Really. Well enjoy your man-titties then. Tell her to take some TrimSpa and leave you the Hell alone.

Just let her go her own way and find out for herself that it doesn’t work. I myself have trouble eating enough to put on muscle, I blame the mind control rays which shoot out Cosmo magazine. :wink:

If all she wants to do is cardio, that’s all she’s gonna do. Don’t take it as a personal offense.

You could try recommending higher protein and using the phrase “this exercise will give you tighter tone without bulk” - technically its true, women don’t bulk.

[quote]Stinker wrote:
She just wants to be stretched out and sweating under a couple hundred pounds of man meat.

It’s good for the heart, lungs, will tighten and tone, whatever you want to tell her…

Just do her and do her until she is that tight, taut vixen that she always wanted to be. Then she’ll dump you.

Stinker [/quote]

Heh. She is not mine. As mentioned above: she is a friend. ie–she tossed me into the realm of “no sex for you” when we met years ago.

TrainerInDC: I am in NoVA, but she lives in Richmond.

One of my clients brought in an article from a woman’s magazine. It featured the hot blonde from Law & Order (no longer I hear). She talked about the things she did in her workouts. Things like Farmers Walks and sled dragging! She gushed on about how much she liked the “strongman” training and how it made her look and feel.

We had been doing that stuff for YEARS so it justified my existing beliefs.

[quote]daven wrote:
I apologize to whoever reads this, but I need to rant.

One of my female friends has asked me for advice on how to “lengthen”, “tone” and “tighten” her body. Aside from ignoring the terminology she used, I am more than happy to help.

However, there are a few issues:

  1. She refuses to change her diet
  2. She refuses to squat, deadlift, row, press, etc.
  3. She does not want to “bulk up” so she refuses to lift heavy. And by heavy, I mean any weight which actually challenges her. After all, everyone knows such things are not good for women.
  4. Every article I send her, every example I send her (such as AG’s threads), and every piece of scientific support I send her she discounts because she “just wants to look like Charlize Theron”.
  5. She blames her excess weight on birth control. You have been on it for over six years honey, it is not causing you to have fat.
  6. Whenever I have tried to show her how to do an exercise properly, she refuses to do it if:

A. it causes her ass to stick out (rows, RDLs, etc) because that is “bad”
B. it would “hurt her knees” - squats, deadlifts, etc
C. it would “hurt her back” - pretty much anything other than a machine
D. It “looks weird”
E. It is hard

So what the BLOODY HELL does she expect me to do?

Sorry, just had to rant.[/quote]

She sounds like a prime candidate for liposuction. Next time you see her, give her the number to a good plastic surgeon in your area and while your at it, recommend she get a boob job.

Chris Shugart already answered the issue your dealing with. Basically, there is no helping her, let her deal with her own misery.

Check it out -
http://www.T-Nation.com/readTopic.do?id=1073864