T Nation

Want To Be A Cnidarian


Due to the fact I have an uncommon zest for life, I've decided that living slightly past 100 feet of water is in order. I will accept 98 of these feet to be with unaided mobility, no vertebral propulsion present and lower than average cognitive function for a jelly-something. The final two, it's okay if everything goes to hell just to cross the water column line. My top three steps to get where I want to be (in no particular order):

Refrain from use of ALL skeletal structures
Sexual management - Study and practice well above some crappy pupal 'we care about our jellyfish' 4 week course
Live with intense propulsion


No clear male roles at least 3 generations back
Not sure if long-term jet propulsion is conducive to the whole mobility at 90 feet <<< looks at sperm whale

Suggestions? Think genetics makes the final call? Anyone who makes it to 100 feet with me, I'll buy some protozoa.... or a starfish.... or whatever you buy each other at that time.


I sure hope you ran this thread by Lanky


I hear James Cameron is making Avatar 2 underwater. Maybe you could get into that casting call?


This one's a bit of a stretch...


LOL! Just LOL!!


That's a biggy. No grandparents to jellysit the polypoids could seriously cut into life expectancy and leisure time.


this has got to be one of the best and most thought out parodies yet.


You win 5 internetz sir.


A valiant attempt. 7.5/10


I clicked on this cause I thot it said Canadian.

Fuck them assholes.

nah...I take it back. thier wimmenz are hot...and like to fuck.

they're just tooooooo polite.

and they're afraid of the dark.

really...who's afraid of the dark forchristsake.

Canadians...thats who.

but who else? really?

Not me.

anyway, since this ain't about Canadians...guess I'll back outta here.

Vikings discovered Canada, by the way.

We never get any credit for it...not these days anyway.

did you know that the reason why it belongs to England is cause after the war for Independence, a lot of the loyalist headed north?

so England got it by default.

even they didn't want it.

Its a drain on their economy and all that shit.

they don't even pay taxes to the crown anymore.

what the fuck? why do they call themselves subjects then?

I don't get it.

Vikings also got into what is now Russia.

thats where the Rus comes from.

Its what the Greeks called the people there.

Due to thier affinity to fight, and thier pale color

i used to know what it meant, but must've forgot.


this is not about Canada so I might as well Peace...



what is this thread about?

p.s. if you want to live under or near water squating heavy should help you reach your goal


i now have seen the original; hats off on the good parody!


I clicked on it because I thought it said Cimmerian.


AWWWW, C'mon man! I should get 7.5 just for having 'cnidarian' on the tip of the tongue!!! (See, invertebrate biology paid off afterall!)


Well played sir. Well played.


If you did know that without grabbing a bio book, then I accept your challenge flag throwdown. After further review, it was determined the correct score should have been 8/10 due to the opposing thread OP remembering 8th grade bio reference. OP of the original thread is charged a timeout and penalized 5 internets.


I'd love to come across this thread without having read the one it's based on. That'd be so weird!


He jelly(fish).


I give this comment and thread both a 10/10.

Well done Steely.


Hahaha. Funny post, and I had an awesome TA my freshmen year of college for zoology. Dude was from Germany, wore those goofy ass animal shirts every day and just did not give a fuck. I can still hear him saying SNIDAHHHRIAN.


Haha! Epic reply... from our epic Viking!