T Nation

Waaay to much free time on my hands......

If your plan is to have no plan then do you have a plan?
If practice makes perfect yet nobody’s perfect then why practice?
If anythings possible then is it possible that nothing is possible?
why the hell do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Just somethings i wanted to throw out there and maybe get a smile or two. peace, Tyke.

When you ship styrofoam peanuts, what do you pack them in? Why is “abbreviated” such a long word? If most accidents happen within five miles of your home why don’t you move?

What’s another word for “thesaurus”?

Who’s cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word lisp?

Practice doesn’t make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect.

thanks to gallagher and bill hicks
when it rains, do sheep shrink?
if M&M’s melt in your mouth and not in your hand, what do they do, say, under your arm?
if jesus comes back to earth, do you really think he wants see another cross?
how big would the ocean be if there were no sponges at the bottum?

I forgot the name of the comedian who said this but," I went to the store to buy some dried water, I don’t know what to add."

If God can do anything, can he make a rock so heavy even he can’t lift it?

Some of these things (like the dehydrated water) and many others like it are attributed to Steven Wright. You can read a whole crapload more of them here: