T Nation

Verifiable Stories from the Corps.

This post is in honor of the Marine Corps. recent birthday.

A SSgt of Marines relayed this story to a number of us some time ago. Seems he was working in a maintenance type of environment where the guys wore jump-suit type overalls, the type that zip up from the crotch to the neckline. The overalls could be zipped in either direction so if you had it zipped to your neck you could simply unzip from the bottom to use the restroom, leaving the rest zipped up to the neck. He told us of a Marine he was responsible for who liked to goof off and as the story would illustrate, go naked under the overalls. Turns out the SSgt was giving a new female Capt. a tour of the place, and as he was escorting her across the maintenance hanger, he spied the troublemaker coming his way. Knowing the younger Marine was capable of anything, he knew right away what was amiss on the front of the guy’s uniform. There for the new female Capt and the rest of the world to see, with the bottom zipper zipped right up snug to them, holding them in place, was the Marine’s hairy nutsack on display. All you could see was non-descript work overalls and a nutsack. The SSgt luckily intervened before the Cpl. got to the Capt and sent him away, but everyone including the Capt had seen the man’s genitals. The SSgt speculated the young Marine intended to have himself introduced to the Capt in that manner of dress.

What made the SSgt tell that story? Seems a number of Marines there at work with myself and the SSgt had told everyone the story that they themselves had perpetrated. Seems the one young Marine was visiting his married Marine buddy and he and his buddy’s wife were checking out the fish in the fish tank. The married guy had walked over next to the tank and nonchalantly pulled his nuts out of the side of his shorts. As the visiting Marine and the wife were oohing and ahhing over the fish, they happened to look at the end of the tank and there was the guy with his nutsack hanging out for his friend, his wife and his daughter to all see. They thought this was hilarious.

They had a number of other stories, but those are the two I remember. I thought relaying them to everyone here in honor of the Corps birthday was appropriate, especially considering the high and mighty posturing of certain board member.

Marines playing jokes on each other by exposing their nutz! In honor of our Corps Birthday?!? I read and reread your post to try and find the humor in it but I just do not see it. Maybe an explanation would help. I have never heard of such foolishness and I can not believe it. Just this weekend, Marines from all over the Balkans, many would meet for the first time, came together to celebrate this teasured day. Dispite our location we had an outstanding ceremony. We displayed the dedication to our Corps and fellow Marines as many NATO countries observed in respect. This was a good weekend for the Marines currently serving in a hostile area. For a day we came together for an honored tradition. From many different countries in the theater… Kosovo, Macedonia, Bosnia… If you would like to post stories about Marines playing jokes on each other or one Marine’s punishable actions DO NOT dedicate it “in honor of the Marine Corps recent Birthday.” I find your post to be a discrace to Marines, the Marine Corps, and our free nation…
I will eagerly await your intended replies…

Oh my God!! I just read the post where Avoids says he wasn’t a Marine but in the Navy!!! HOLY F***IN’ SHIT!!! I have more queer Navy stories than I would care to know. Tell us about the time you crossed over the equator or the time line or whatever it is where you suck an olive out of a greased up fat man’s belly. And the one where you dress up as women and dance with everyone on the ship. Dear God Almighty, I don’t know of any Navy guys without a story that would make you question their sexual preference. Oh yeah, just this summer a Navy guy told me knew someone who always said “suck my dick”, he then told us how he really stumped him by saying “well whip it out”. We asked what happened next and he said the guy whipped it out. The guy got really cagey about the rest of the story, not giving anymore details. Wow! You’re Navy Avoids!! I am stunned you have such an attitude about Nate’s story and you’re Navy, I am truly, sincerely stunned.

Sorry if I offended, but I don’t know a straightlaced Marine, and I know quite a few.

There are very few things in life I don’t joke about Big Dave but the men willing to fight to protect your ass is one of them. I guess if you haven’t been in combat you wouldn’t understand.

Big Dave, you’re an idiot. 'Nuff said.

damn, i spent 2.5 as an infantry soldier in the army, if any soldier pulled that kind of stunt they would have had their ass’s charged within seconds and the next 30 odd days would be a living hell.
but then some armys are more professional that others…

Yeah. That’s right you do not know too many Marines, and I doubt you know any. I know many, many “straight-laced” Marines. This whole thing pisses me off… The United States Marine Corps is the hardest, deadliest, most proffessional, band of brothers in THE WORLD! People like you trying to smash on over two centuries of success by making up stories are pathetic. I can assure you the actions as you described would be dealt with by the UCMJ and I personally would kick his ass for disgracing my unit. Here is a story of a real Marine Corporal to dedicate to the Birthday (this message was quoted to insure accuracy):

"A corporal from 8th & I standing guard duty at the Pentagon Tuesday morning was close to the point of impact of the jetliner that crashed into the building, his uniform on fire, he peeled off his clothes and in his skivvies rushed into the hell to rescue victims of the disaster along with one of his Marine buddies.

Trying to pull a lady from the rubble, something fell upon his hands and broke his fingers. He continued his desperate work until his buddy grabbed him by the shoulders to restrain and get him medical help. When his fellow Marine touched his shoulders and arms, the skin came off the corporal into his friend’s hands.

I wanted to give you his name and address at Bethesda Naval Hospital, but his sister said that he was not ready to receive cards and letters. He is angry. He wants to be a warrior and already knows that his career in the Corps is over. 3rd degree burns over his upper body and numerous wounds from flying debris have pretty well decided that. As soon as he is stabilized, he will be sent to the Air Force burn center in Texas."

Happy Birthday Marines!

David Letterman: “I have three new heroes now. They are New York’s bravest, the firefighters, New York’s finest, the cops and the United States Marine Corps because, as you know, before this thing is finished, it will be the Marine Corps that goes in and settles the score.”

Firstly well all know the best marine is a submarine. I had to say that, it’s a tradition kinda thing for us submariners.

I’ve been around a few marines, and soldiers, and even an airman or two. They all have stories about joking around. Even the hard core killers of men joke around sometimes. It breaks the tension, bonds the guys, blah, blah, blah.

I did the shellback initiation (crossing the equator), so did my father. It’s a tradition thing that’s been going on since ships were powered by canvas and the wind and has nothing to do with gay sex or any other kind of sex. Guys that are weak in their sexual orientation probably shouldn’t go to sea…or join any branch of the military (except maybe the Air Force) because plenty of the joking around has sexual overtones…mostly to get tightassed people to loosen up.

The accomplishments of our military speak for themselves. The behind the scenes goofing around maybe isn’t for public consumption because they’ve never done anything like we have so they get a very blurred picture.

We called it ‘ballwalking.’ As an aside, there are only two non-war topics discussed in the Corps: Those having to do with bodily processes and those having to do with the opposite sex.
-J (Company Honorman, K CO, 27 AUG 1993, MCRD, 0311)

WOW. I feel our safety as a nation has soared to new highs. What tradtion, what honor.

Yeah. We do have traditions and things we do that are not necessarily public consumption :wink: But I assure that the original story was distorted because an oncoming officer would not be greated in that way and a CORPORAL would never be kept from sight because of his/her unknown behavior. Action would be taken to “correct” the insabordination. But anyway, here is a poem sent out around this time to the men and women who serve in the Armed Forces during a time when their families wish they were home (like mine). The poem is said to be written by a Marine in Okinawa a few years ago. I have also heard his mother wrote it to him. Not sure. Big D (A CO, 19 Oct 1997, MCRD, 1027) The poem is as follows:

'Twas The Night Before Christmas,
He Lived All Alone,
In A One Bedroom House
Made Of Plaster And Stone.

I Had Come Down The Chimney
With Presents To Give,
And To See Just Who
In This Home Did Live.

I Looked All About,
A Strange Sight I Did See,
No Tinsel, No Presents, Not Even A Tree.

No Stocking By Mantle,
Just Boots Filled With Sand,
On The Wall Hung Pictures
Of Far Distant Lands.

With Medals And Badges,
Awards Of All Kinds,
A Sober Thought Came Through My Mind.

For This House Was Different,
It Was Dark And Dreary,
I Found The Home Of A Soldier,
Once I Could See Clearly.

The Soldier Lay Sleeping,
Silent, Alone,
Curled Up On The Floor
In This One Bedroom Home.

The Face Was So Gentle,
The Room In Such Disorder,
Not How I Pictured
A United States Soldier.

Was This The Hero
Of Whom I’d Just Read?
Curled Up On A Poncho,
The Floor For A Bed?

I Realized The Families
That I Saw This Night,
Owed Their Lives To These Soldiers
Who Were Willing To Fight.

Soon Round The World,
The Children Would Play,
And Grownups Would Celebrate
A Bright Christmas Day.

They All Enjoyed Freedom
Each Month Of The Year,
Because Of The Soldiers,
Like The One Lying Here.

I Couldn’t Help Wonder
How Many Lay Alone,
On A Cold Christmas Eve
In A Land Far From Home.

The Very Thought
Brought A Tear To My Eye,
I Dropped To My Knees
And Started To Cry.

The Soldier Awakened
And I Heard A Rough Voice,
"Santa Don’t Cry,
This Life Is My Choice;

I Fight For Freedom,
I Don’t Ask For More,
My Life Is My God,
My Country, My Corps."

The Soldier Rolled Over
And Drifted To Sleep,
I Couldn’t Control It,
I Continued To Weep.

I Kept Watch For Hours,
So Silent And Still
And We Both Shivered
From The Cold Night’s Chill.

I Didn’t Want To Leave
On That Cold, Dark, Night,
This Guardian Of Honor
So Willing To Fight.

Then The Soldier Rolled Over,
With A Voice Soft And Pure,
Whispered, “Carry On Santa,
It’s Christmas Day, All Is Secure.”

One Look At My Watch,
And I Knew He Was Right.
“Merry Christmas My Friend,
And To All A Good Night.”