T Nation

Venture Capitalism


#1

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.
... ... CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies.You sell them and invest the proceeds with Bernie Madoff.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AMERICAN CORPORATISM: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull


#2

CHRISTIANITY: God owns the cattle on a thousand hills (Psalm 50:10) and supplies all our needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19). I jist hadta. Good to see ya back kiddo =].


#3

[quote]Oleena wrote:
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows. The government takes one and gives your neighbor some beef broth.

FIXED


#4

ANARCHISM: I have two cows. I can raise them how I want. I can process, package, and sell them or their produce however I want -- e.g. raw milk and unpasteurized butter. I can market, and deliver it however I want; and moreover, the customers that buy from me can cook and enjoy it however they want.


#5

KAFKA-ISM: you wake up one morning to find you are a giant cockroach; hilarity ensues. There are no cows in this story.


#6

Fixed.


#7

BALKANISM=you have 2 cows.you butcher your neighbour of other nationality,rape his wife and burn down his house.You take his 2 cows.Now,you sell one and buy a Kalashnikov and the other you sell to buy some hard alcohol.you get drank & you shot around.you accidently kill your wife.The goverment takes your cows and puts you in prison.15 years later ,you get out as reformed communinst :))))


#8

No they don't because I am allowed to defend myself; however, you correctly describe exactly what government already does and make a good case for anarchy.

Thank you.


#9

Britain: You have two cows. Both are mad.


#10

Also Anarchism you can make every one sick and they die and there is no repercussions , I do think some regulations are not only good but necessary


#11

Armour is still in business Today


#12

If I kill all my customers I will have no repercussions?

Are you sure you want to stick with that answer?


#13

Well, you could kill a number of them with, say, a pollutant. Perhaps even raise the local birth defect rate significantly. Might take a while for enough people to make enough noise your way. But even then, who cares if they're making noise? Even if they get all vigilante hostile, as long as one can get wealthy fast enough, one could always cut out to a new location in the nation to retire on millions, or start up again under a new name.

Let's not act like companies haven't been willing to poison folks for a quick profit, hoping some other schmuck later down the road would be stuck with the mess before enough people realize what's happened. From meat to drinking water, history tells us that capitalism doesn't necessarily breed virtue.


#14

Not necessarily, no.

But quite regularly.


#15

I think you know what I mean :slightly_smiling:


#16

I think you mean that people would willingly poison their customers and could remain in business.

That is not possible in a free society.


#17

Only a homicidal maniac would do that ,But it would be possible


#18

So tell me exactly how having a government prevents homicidal maniacs from doing evil?

Evil people don't follow rules that is why they are considered evil.

Good people follow the rules and don't need them.

At least in a free market negligence is punished; on the other hand we now have protectionism that allows the most corrupt bankers to not only get bailed out but also to be given raises.


#19

It doesn't except when they catch and jail them , but you tell me how it would be impossible in a free market ?


#20

Open competition makes people less prone to taking stupid risks.

When it comes to the human condition there is no such thing as perfection which is why I oppose government in the first place. In order for government to work we have to assume individuals are perfect and will always do right thing because there is no accountability -- at best people may get fired from their jobs but the institution will still exist to harm more people.