Velocity, Schmelocity

V-Diet not quick enough for ya? Try this:

It would sure cut down on my food bill

I saw something kind of like this on TV last week. Some lady claimed that she didn’t need to eat because she sunbathed everyday and got all of her energy from the sun.

I’d rank it’s success up there with the heroin diet.

Natural selection…

You’d think they’d put the silly bitch under surveliance for say 2 weeks, if she hasn’t eaten in that time she’s either dead or the real deal.

awesome.

Well, here we have the Sunshine Diet, which, like many whacky things in life, comes from California. Contrary to its name, you are allowed to eat real food, but no meat (of course)! I couldn’t help but paste this little snippet, after all, us meat-eaters should be warned that we’re heading down the road of ugliness with our dietary habits:

This regimen will be easier on your kidneys than meat diets. Animal flesh puts uric acid ‘puff’ on our faces over the years as a kind of edema builds up. The proof is that meat-eaters all have faces like round meat pies at age 60. You can see no resemblance to the person they were at 20, whereas vegetarians keep the facial contours of a 20 year old until they are 90. Meat and eggs also give the breath and body an unpleasant smell that mirrors the condition of the bowel. As vegetarians tell us ‘food should smell the same way going in as passing out!’ And for them, it does!

It took me a while to find him (I couldn’t remember his name), but Google came through in the end:

Wiley Brooks was a Breatharianism guru in the 70’s who credits himself with introducing this practice to the Western world. He was once discovered eating hamburgers and other junk food by his disciples. His defence? He claimed that air pollution diminished his ability to absorb light and air energy. Yeah, makes sense. Apparently, hamburgers can counteract the sickening effects of electrical power lines. “I don’t enjoy it,” he says of his beef. “It’s like medicine for me.” I feel you, Wiley; it’s a harsh life we lead.

He has a website:

but it seems to be down at the moment.

Shugs, eat yer heart out! (Metaphorically, of course.)

[quote]Vyapada wrote:
Natural selection…

[/quote]

Well, the human gene pool definately needs some chlorine.

It’s a miracle some of these people can actually dress themselves.

Is she a plant?

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Greve, 48, teaches that people can live almost entirely without food or water under an approach she calls “breatharianism”. She herself claims to have eaten nothing since 1993.

Is she a plant?[/quote]

Fungus, actually.

I follow her principles. Although I do allow myself 6000kcals p/day. Not because I need it… just because I need to maintain my connection society.

[quote]Miserere wrote:
As vegetarians tell us ‘food should smell the same way going in as passing out’ ![/quote]

The problem is that it tastes the same way going in as passing out.

no food/water since 1993? yea…so all those scientists who keep saying u can live w/o food for a week,and can live w/o water for 2 weeks are wrong? they lied? they want to make us fat by letting us eat all the time?

Or if that one is a little too radical, try this one…

www.nationallampoon.com/nl/08_features/diet/diet1.asp

[quote]jmwintenn wrote:
no food/water since 1993? yea…so all those scientists who keep saying u can live w/o food for a week,and can live w/o water for 2 weeks are wrong? they lied? they want to make us fat by letting us eat all the time?
[/quote]

I think you meant the other way around: no water for 1 week, no food for 2.

Although I think you can survive on just water for more than 2 weeks if you’ve got enough fat reserves.

You might be slightly catabolic by the end of it, though.

Jesus, what a crock. My comedy troupe at school did a skit that actually reminds me of this. It starts out with two people eating in a restaraunt until 2 vegetarians start berating them for the animal consumption. Then 2 vegans critisize all of the other and after that 2 shirtless guys come out with green dots drawn on their bodies who claim to produce food through photosynthesis. Then comes a man dressed in black with antlers a mouse nose, and devil hands and proclaims says "I can’t believe you guys actually eat chemical compounds.

Consuming more than one element is so primitive it makes me want to fuck a bag of razors. I achieve sustenance soley from eating bricks of sulphur." The scene ends with everyone agreeing to eat the body of Christ. Guess you had to be there.
-Matt