T Nation

Velocity Diet: Reactions?

This is something I was talking about with Nate Dogg and thought I’d post to see if others have had similar experiences.

Shugart’s written how people closest to you can also be the ones who’ll try to sabotage you when you try to accomplish something.

Case in point – I used to be 225. There’s a guy who always got on my case about being overweight, even calling me “fatty” in an effort to get me motivated about losing weight.

Earlier this year I did the Velocity Diet and lost 25 lbs in 5 weeks. I gained the requisite 5 back, then went on a short V Diet, losing another 10 lbs. I didn’t tell my friend about it, figuring he’d see the results when I visited him later.

So I go up to see him and his wife. He sees me, remarks about the weight loss…but his comments are subdued compared to all the times the insulted me about being fat. Same thing with his wife – she remarked about how overweight I was when I was fat, but didn’t mention anything about the weight loss to me. I only heard about something she said through him.

He asked me about how I lost the weight, and after I told him, didn’t take it seriously. He kept calling it the “Flaxseed Diet” and when I kept reminding him about the weight I lost, would reply “Yeah, but it’s not a real diet.”

Same thing with an old boss of mine. When he saw me in the hallway, he’d remark “Why don’t you suck in your gut – oh wait, you are.” When I saw him after the weight loss, he didn’t say much of anything about it.

For the most part, there wasn’t a strong positive reaction. Some people even said they didn’t notice I had lost weight.

Ironically, the ones who said I didn’t need to lose weight were the ones who were the most excited about the weight I lost.

But the majority of people either didn’t have a reaction or minimized what I did, even though they kept rubbing in how fat I was almost every chance they got.

So, to those who finished the diet, what’s been the reaction from the people around you?

Bro, people are always gunna be haters. Just worry about the people who were impressed and excited with and for you. Fuck the others. That couple and your boss sound like jackasses. My friends and I bust each others balls and all, but that’s taking it a little far.

Most people couldn’t successfully follow a diet like that and lose that much fat that quick. You did something awesome to better your appearance, your overall health and your self esteem. They criticized. Guess what bro? You fuckin won that battle. 104 to nuthin’.

Chris, and TC, are right. Ordinary, bland people will always find a way to badmouth those who do something extraordinary. Just use it as fuel for your workouts. It’s you who’ll be happier in the long run.

And yes, I did the diet myself, and got a lot of mixed reactions. Almost all of the bad had to do with the extremeness of the diet (what a moron I was for even trying it, I was never going to be able to finish it, etc). I heard that shit a lot. And every single one of those people (except my mother, who thinks I’m an idiot no matter what I do) shut the fuck up and changed their tune 28 days later. Plus my friends who actually supported what I was doing to begin with.

And a few tried to blow it off like it was no big deal. One in particular actually came to me for training advice awhile later. So no biggie. Those who may not say anything might be too busy swallowing their pride to actually commend you. Luckily, T-Nation isn’t like that. So hats off to you sir. Good job.

Kubo

Sorry, can’t say I did the VDiet, but I can definitely relate to what you’re saying. I dropped weight fast too and noticed some of the same behavior from others.

The negative people were never on your side and never will be. Sad to say, but those people are no longer in my life too or they have become people I once knew. They never thought you would succeed which is why they felt it was their “motivation” to “help” you by calling you fat. F*CK THEM. They just labled it motivation because you couldn’t say anything back at the time.

Now you made them shut up and they are jealous. Jealous as f**k because they can’t figure out how YOU could do it. You basically insulted their intelligence by showing them you were not only better, but you also took away their opportunities to mess with your head and call you fat or tell you to suck in.

Forget them, they’ve obviously forgot about you…

I was really expecting strong reactions, and I ended up a bit disheartened. But the people who did say something were those whom I wasn’t at all close to…my roommate’s girlfriend, my friend’s dad, etc. My parents were supportive, but not much reaction from relatives.

I don’t recall my friends saying anything at all. But I’m coming to realize that I have incredibly self-involved friends. Well, I didn’t do it for any of them, so it’s OK. It was definitely strange though.

The important thing is that now I’m healthy, more comfortable with my body, and I’ve gotten very positive reactions from women. =)

I didn’t get any reactions from most people because I didn’t really tell anyone except a couple people. I lost 15 pounds in 2.5 weeks (cut it short. yea I’m a wuss).

It’s funny because no one said they noticed me losing weight right after the diet, but after a month of healthy whole food and gaining a few pounds back, I’ve gotten comments about being thinner. Go figure.

It’s unfortunate that people are always quick to pick on shortcomings or areas in which they may be better (thinner, stronger, better looking, etc.), yet, these are the same people that refuse to acknowledge anything good that happens to you.

They also tend to be the people that have insecurity issues or personal/psychological issues that causes them to make unnecessary comments to others. By picking on you or saying things about you, it makes them feel better about themselves. But if you make a drastic change (i.e. fat loss), they will be the last to give you credit for it, or will find numerous excuses or reasons for why it worked, but it still won’t work forever.

Toxic people are everywhere. We’re all toxic to someone at some point about something.

Here’s the problem with your issue. You seem to really put a lot of stock in what other people think and you are constantly seeking others approval. This might have been why you got fat in the first place. I know it was for me. Not trying to be harsh, just honest.

Once you realize that it’s something you need to do for yourself and stop constantly expecting praise, maybe you’ll be happier with yourself and even make better progress. Yes it’s nice when others notice, but it shouldn’t be expected and you shouldn’t feel bad when they don’t.

As for your friends- it seems like they aren’t real nice. What friend calls you fat or constantly remarks about how fat you used to be? They are more than toxic- they’re assholes, and likely have good genetics and have never had to worry about weight. People who have always been skinny can never understand, especially when they can’t even realize the effort it takes to lose weight. It’s the same attitude people have towards homeless people when they say “just go get a job”, like it’s so easy.

i have 2 friends who have had very similar experiences.

the people who said you didn’t need to lose weight are your friends (even if you don’t hang with them). they lied to you because they care about your feelings and now that they have seen the results, they may be motivated to try themselves, that’s why they are asking.

the haters, to quote NOFX “really want to save themselves” (when they are telling you that you are fat, it probably means they have body image issues - even if they are in excellent shape). the problem is they are a bunch of pussies who can only feel good by putting others down. this is what keeps them from realizing what pathetic lives they lead. the same cognitive dissonance will prevent them from changing.

you admitted to yourself that you are not happy with the way you look and you did something about it (and how). you accepted that you may not have been in control before with regards to diet. they cannot allow themselves to think this way because it would ruin the artifical reality they have created in their own minds. because in the end it is about behavior, and they can’t accept that. it is easier to blame genetics, work, life, etc.

all of these things show up in who you compare yourself to. they are comparing themselves to you (or were) to feel good about themselves (kind of like a pro athlete beating kids at his sport and feeling good). you had the balls to compare yourself to those who were better, any surprise that you rose to the occasion?

props to your success, past and future. you earned it.

PS: next time tell the haters that you went on a water and bread diet alternated with fasting days. when they make a comment about nutrients, just recommend they take a centrum everyday and they will be fine.

[quote]eengrms76 wrote:
Here’s the problem with your issue. You seem to really put a lot of stock in what other people think and you are constantly seeking others approval. This might have been why you got fat in the first place. I know it was for me. Not trying to be harsh, just honest.[/quote]

Actually it was more of a general depression issue, I used to be skinny a few years ago (about 190, I think) then ballooned up to 250 lbs.

[quote]
Once you realize that it’s something you need to do for yourself and stop constantly expecting praise, maybe you’ll be happier with yourself and even make better progress. Yes it’s nice when others notice, but it shouldn’t be expected and you shouldn’t feel bad when they don’t.[/quote]

I did do it for myself.

If I’d have put a lot of stock in what others said, I think I’d have just given up and gone gotten fat again. That being said, there was an initial disappointment with a lot of people because for all the weight I lost, I was expecting a better reaction.

The disappointment turned into curiosity because I recently found a pic from my fat days and was amazed about the difference between then and now.

I remarked to Nate I had realized the ones who made the biggest deal about being overweight were also the ones who minimized the weight loss and how I went about it the most. That overall I didn’t have much of a reaction except from people who I didn’t really know or told me I didn’t need to lose weight to begin with. Now some of these people are so excited about the weight I lost they’ve actually said I should lose more weight to see how low I can get. Go figure.

This got me wondering about other people who were on the diet or finished it and what the reactions to their weight loss were – hence this post.

I’ve seen people write about how much better they look after the diet, but rarely heard about the reactions from the people around them other than the posts they got here.

Like I said, while I initially would’ve liked a better reaction, the benefits I’ve gotten on my own in the end outweigh whatever other people think.

Heck, after I finished the diet it took my mind about a month to catch up to the difference in my body. I’d be standing in line somewhere, see a reflection of myself in a mirror, then do a double take because I didn’t see that guy in the reflection in line…only to realize it was me.

[quote]Tech9 wrote:
But the majority of people either didn’t have a reaction or minimized what I did, even though they kept rubbing in how fat I was almost every chance they got.

So, to those who finished the diet, what’s been the reaction from the people around you?[/quote]

As relates to me… All of my friends were very supportive, none encouraged me to cheat, and all were very happy with my results.

Of course, I only associate with quality people. All of my friends are successful - and all are leaders or future leaders in their fields.

Once people start doing things I think are negative, I no longer remain friends with them. I’ll support my friends through anything, but I avoid people with serious character flaws. I would have dropped that “friend” of yours like a toilet seat.

That you remain friends with him evidences emotional weakness on your part: You must be strong enough to cut out those in your life who do not make you a better person.

If you remain friends with those haters, then you are no better than they are.

Why do so many of you associate with negative and unsuccessful people? Of your five best friends, you’re going to generally be the average in one important way. (You might be the biggest of the five, but only the 3d richest, and 4th best educated, etc.)

So to raise yourself up, you need to associate only with people better than yourself. Why do you think the guys at Westside are so successful? You need a legit crew outside of the weightroom, too.

If you want to become a better boxer, you spar with people better than you. Fighting with people less competent fucks up your game. My wife plays tennis and says that playing with people better than she is makes her better.

Raise your standards, drop the dead weight you’re carrying around, or forever live lives of mediocrity.

[quote]Nate Dogg wrote:
It’s unfortunate that people are always quick to pick on shortcomings or areas in which they may be better (thinner, stronger, better looking, etc.), yet, these are the same people that refuse to acknowledge anything good that happens to you.

They also tend to be the people that have insecurity issues or personal/psychological issues that causes them to make unnecessary comments to others. By picking on you or saying things about you, it makes them feel better about themselves. But if you make a drastic change (i.e. fat loss), they will be the last to give you credit for it, or will find numerous excuses or reasons for why it worked, but it still won’t work forever.

Toxic people are everywhere. We’re all toxic to someone at some point about something.[/quote]

I think that about sums it all up right there.
I have “friends” that are like this, it kind of just entertains me now when they make dumb comments trying to make themselves feel better about themselves

Get used to it. Lose a lot of fat and people will bitch about how you did it.

Get big…either be accused of juicing or told that you are “too big now.”

Even if you dont get those two, I still get the occasional “yea, well I know some guy who’s bigger than you.” haha that one always cracks me up. I’m not andre the fuckin giant, so yea, I’m sure there is someone bigger.

Your boss is a jerkass. The guy and his wife are haters. They talked shit when you were fat, but shut the hell up when you lost fat. Then you gave them an opening to go back to being haters. I’d cut these people out of your life as much as you can.

Who the hell wants to be around someone who calls them fat all the time anyway. Even if you were, who the fuck were they to talk shit for it.

[quote]CaliforniaLaw wrote:
Why do so many of you associate with negative and unsuccessful people? Of your five best friends, you’re going to generally be the average in one important way. (You might be the biggest of the five, but only the 3d richest, and 4th best educated, etc.)

So to raise yourself up, you need to associate only with people better than yourself. Why do you think the guys at Westside are so successful? You need a legit crew outside of the weightroom, too.

If you want to become a better boxer, you spar with people better than you. Fighting with people less competent fucks up your game. My wife plays tennis and says that playing with people better than she is makes her better.

Raise your standards, drop the dead weight you’re carrying around, or forever live lives of mediocrity.[/quote]

I see where you’re coming from, but the old adage, “you don’t choose your friends,” has always applied to me. I’ve got social anxiety and an avoidant personality, so basically I suck at making friends. My best friends? They were sitting at the first table in the cafeteria on my first day of high school.

I strongly agree that the best way to improve yourself is to learn from or compete against those who are better. What I don’t agree with is that this has anything to do with friendship. For me, there’s entirely too much tension in a friendship based on rivalry to make it work.

[quote]wfifer wrote:
I see where you’re coming from, but the old adage, “you don’t choose your friends,” has always applied to me. I’ve got social anxiety and an avoidant personality, so basically I suck at making friends.[/quote]

I’m sorry to hear that. If your disability prevents you from making human friends, do this: Make books and the gym your two best friends. In a few years, you’ll be MUCH better off.

i can identify with saboteurs- i lost 15 pounds this summer (over three months, so about 5 lbs a month), and i think i might have gotten one postiive reaction, but mostly no reaction. mother and sisters accused me of having an eating disorder, said i looked “gross”, roomates said guys liked girls with “curves” and that i no longer had any, guy friends said they were scared of me cuz i had better abs than they did.

the only positive response i got was from an ex- which was kind of a left-handed compliment at that- we pay much more attention to ourselves when losing/gaining weight than others do, so i can understand other people who don’t notice- but our close friends and family??

i understand what it’s like to have crappy friends, but honestly- my roomates…something else these days…
it’s funny cuz now that i’ve been putting on muscle (and some fat) people still don’t notice. i’m right back to where i started from in may (stronger, but weight is the same), and i’m still told that i “shouldn’t work out as much if i want to still look like a girl”. (this coming from people who haven’t seen the inside of a gym in oh, about a year).

its frusterating, because these people have been supporting me in every other way in my life- through fights and tears, just not in the gym. i guess they don’t get it.

That’s just it TARK. They don’t get it. The majority of people don’t understand discipline, sacrifice, or drive to be better. Most people understand: non existent magic pills, 8 minute abs, and infomercial gym equipment.

What exactly are “curves” that guys supposedly like? To me “curves” are another name for big asses, love handles, rolling thighs.

What I’m basically trying to say is, don’t listen to the detractors out there. People that typically try to bring you down secretly envy you and your drive to succeed but hate their ability to do the same so they try and drag you down.

Let me just tell you these things to encourage you.

  • Chicks that work out are HOT.
  • Weight lifting can give you the right kind of curves and take away that wrong kind.
  • Chicks that work out are HOT.

[quote]tark9570 wrote:
i can identify with saboteurs- i lost 15 pounds this summer (over three months, so about 5 lbs a month), and i think i might have gotten one postiive reaction, but mostly no reaction. mother and sisters accused me of having an eating disorder, said i looked “gross”, roomates said guys liked girls with “curves” and that i no longer had any, guy friends said they were scared of me cuz i had better abs than they did.

the only positive response i got was from an ex- which was kind of a left-handed compliment at that- we pay much more attention to ourselves when losing/gaining weight than others do, so i can understand other people who don’t notice- but our close friends and family??

i understand what it’s like to have crappy friends, but honestly- my roomates…something else these days…
it’s funny cuz now that i’ve been putting on muscle (and some fat) people still don’t notice. i’m right back to where i started from in may (stronger, but weight is the same), and i’m still told that i “shouldn’t work out as much if i want to still look like a girl”. (this coming from people who haven’t seen the inside of a gym in oh, about a year).

its frusterating, because these people have been supporting me in every other way in my life- through fights and tears, just not in the gym. i guess they don’t get it.[/quote]

Having to surround yourself with like minded people is as dependant as needing people to say the right things. Personally, I like to be around lots of different types of people. The side effect of that is many different opinions. I find that the same brain that lets me read articles on eating right and training and can separate the valuable from the crap is handy when dealing with lots of different opinions. Try things out, and see if they work. After I went to grad school, I went back to work at the place I worked at with my BA. It was surprising that some of my biggest supports were less than thrilled that I had moved up the ladder. Happily, many of them have made the adjustment, but I would not go back if they didn’t. I try to appreciate people for what they are, not what they are not. That same person who doesn’t support your diet might be the one who would take a bat to someone’s head if they crossed you. Get support from the places that will give it.