I KNOW THAT THE MENTAL connection has been made by you. gear = ripped muscle. so the only way you can get that out of your head is to see some quality clean competitors and know that you can look ripped and gain mass with out gear.
I know of guys that treat gear like any other supplement, and that is just as It says, a supplement. their training, diet, and recovery is already finely tuned and they have grown alot prior to using gear to get that little further.
I will never suggest using gear if you are under 21 as you are still growing. I will never suggest using gear if you have not got the diet, recovery, and training patterns down packed, as once you stop using gear old habits will come back and you will lose any gains (waste of money). And i would never suggest using gear just to keep up with your mates.
Please just be patient, train hard and eat well. if you are consuming enough protein at regular intervals and training hard you will grow. If you start using gear for the wrong reasons like keeping up with your mates it may lead to a psycological addiction and then you are in the same league as any other abuser.
Hope this helps