Being diabetic (fairly recently diagnosed) I’m getting sent for tests seemingly like every week. Blood tests (hbA1C / Haemoglobin), eye tests, chiropody etc. etc.
Anyhow the latest one the NHS have decided I should have was a prostate exam so this morning saw me in the waiting room at the local hospital to see a urologist.
Now I could guess what the examination was going to involve and when I saw the lady doctor who called me through I began to sweat a little. To say she was gorgeous is an understatement.
Anyhow she tells me why I’m there (like I haven’t heard it fifty times before) and asks me if I’d had it done before. I tell her no and she says not to worry. She said they’ve changed the examination a little recently but for me to just relax as much as possible and do as she says.
First off she says “I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say 99.”
I said, “99”.
She said, “Great. Now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say 99.”
I said, again, “99.”
She said, “Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I am going to check your prostate with this hand,
and with the other hand I am going to hold on to your penis. Now take a deep breath and say 99.”
I said, "One. . . two. . . three…four…five…six… "
I’ll get me coat.