T Nation

Unintentional Insults

Off Topic
#1

So that’s me over there, and here’s the thing: I like it. All my radio presets are classic rock or classic country, I’ve got a big moustache and wear pearl snap shirts with $6 sunglasses, and I like it. I’m not some hipster douche acting goofy to be “ironic” or whatever the hell hipsters are going for. That’s just the way I am.

So anyway, I’m having dinner with this girl last night, she says, “You know what I like about you? You don’t take yourself too seriously and don’t care if you look ridiculous.”

If I wasn’t such a macho stud, my feelings would’ve been hurt.

#2

[quote]Melvin Smiley wrote:
So that’s me over there, and here’s the thing: I like it. All my radio presets are classic rock or classic country, I’ve got a big moustache and wear pearl snap shirts with $6 sunglasses, and I like it. I’m not some hipster douche acting goofy to be “ironic” or whatever the hell hipsters are going for. That’s just the way I am.

So anyway, I’m having dinner with this girl last night, she says, “You know what I like about you? You don’t take yourself too seriously and don’t care if you look ridiculous.”

If I wasn’t such a macho stud, my feelings would’ve been hurt.[/quote]

Did you bang her?

#3

Sounds like you were hurt anyway.

Anyway, sometimes things come out of peoples mouths completely wrong. For instance, I’m friends with a girl (attractive) who went out on a date with this guy. The guy had apparently dated a model at some point in time. During dinner the guy was talking about the model he used to date and said something along the lines of “You know, without all that make up and stuff she wasn’t THAT pretty, she was like you.”

Now, I know the guy just wanted to tell my friend that she was just as pretty as any model but it came out completely wrong and he basically called her ugly.

#4

I LOVED super troopers!!!

#5

YOU BOYS LIKE MEXICOOOO!?!?!?!

“Someone like you” is always a dangerous phrase haha

#6

[quote]ADvanced TS wrote:

[quote]Melvin Smiley wrote:
So that’s me over there, and here’s the thing: I like it. All my radio presets are classic rock or classic country, I’ve got a big moustache and wear pearl snap shirts with $6 sunglasses, and I like it. I’m not some hipster douche acting goofy to be “ironic” or whatever the hell hipsters are going for. That’s just the way I am.

So anyway, I’m having dinner with this girl last night, she says, “You know what I like about you? You don’t take yourself too seriously and don’t care if you look ridiculous.”

If I wasn’t such a macho stud, my feelings would’ve been hurt.[/quote]

Did you bang her?[/quote]

x2

#7

these snozberries taste like snozberries.

#8

So anyway, I’m having dinner with this girl last night, she says, “You know what I like about you? You don’t take yourself too seriously and don’t care if you look ridiculous.”

You’re interpreting it wrong. She wasn’t referring to your looks. She was referring to your behavior. And she likes it. Focus on that.

#9

Did I bang her last night? No. But I have been for a while now. I just like to refer to her as “this/that/some girl” instead of “girlfriend”. Keeps her ego in check.

Re: my behavior, one time she told me “You know, you’re a good looking guy. I just wish I could put a bag over your personality.”

We give each other a lot of shit lol

#10

As long as you’re banging her you’re doing something right.

When chicks stop banging you, then re-evaluate the moustache.

#11

[quote]Melvin Smiley wrote:
Did I bang her last night? No. But I have been for a while now. I just like to refer to her as “this/that/some girl” instead of “girlfriend”. Keeps her ego in check.

Re: my behavior, one time she told me “You know, you’re a good looking guy. I just wish I could put a bag over your personality.”

We give each other a lot of shit lol[/quote]

If insulting her ego doesn’t keep her in check, try shaking the living shit outta her!

Works for me

#12

[quote]AndrewG909 wrote:

[quote]Melvin Smiley wrote:
Did I bang her last night? No. But I have been for a while now. I just like to refer to her as “this/that/some girl” instead of “girlfriend”. Keeps her ego in check.

Re: my behavior, one time she told me “You know, you’re a good looking guy. I just wish I could put a bag over your personality.”

We give each other a lot of shit lol[/quote]

If insulting her ego doesn’t keep her in check, try shaking the living shit outta her!

Works for me[/quote]

Or hell, a little chloroform will do the trick just fine.

#13

Around the college years girls would alway tell me I’m “so pretty”. I didn’t mind TOO much because I knew they were into me.

#14

[quote]on edge wrote:
Around the college years girls would alway tell me I’m “so pretty”. I didn’t mind TOO much because I knew they were into me.[/quote]

I thought you were a guy all these years… How shocked am I to find out that not only are you a female… but you’re also a lesbian.

#15

I was at the supermarket today and was in the back going to use the (shockingly always clean) customer restroom. An old lady is wheeling her cart the opposite direction, so I walked sideways. She stopped and smiled at me saying “ohhh you’re so slim!”

I was shattered.

#16

The following is an extreme case of an unintended insult/giant misunderstanding which is completely true.

The Japanese word for “bitter” (taste) is “nigai”. Many Japanese adjectives end in “i”, for example ayashii (suspicious), kewashii (steep), osoi (late) and so on. In spoken language, the i is sometimes dropped to show exaggeration. Sometimes it is replaced with an “e” (for example: takai = expensive, take = really fucking expensive), other times it is omitted entirely. The language lesson probably bored the hell out of you, but it’s necessary for the story.

A Japanese baseball player, from the Hiroshima Carp I believe, walked into an American Starbucks. He ordered a black coffee with a teammate and sat down next to a table of two black guys. Presumably he had never been to a Japanese Starbucks and this was his first time with their coffee.

He takes one sip, and loudly announces “BLACK NIGA!!”.

One of the gentlemen at the table next to him took severe offence to this and punched him in the face.

This is a true story.

#17

I need more cowbell!

#18

starbucks drip coffee is some over roasted bullshit.

#19

[quote]PimpBot5000 wrote:
The following is an extreme case of an unintended insult/giant misunderstanding which is completely true.

The Japanese word for “bitter” (taste) is “nigai”. Many Japanese adjectives end in “i”, for example ayashii (suspicious), kewashii (steep), osoi (late) and so on. In spoken language, the i is sometimes dropped to show exaggeration. Sometimes it is replaced with an “e” (for example: takai = expensive, take = really fucking expensive), other times it is omitted entirely. The language lesson probably bored the hell out of you, but it’s necessary for the story.

A Japanese baseball player, from the Hiroshima Carp I believe, walked into an American Starbucks. He ordered a black coffee with a teammate and sat down next to a table of two black guys. Presumably he had never been to a Japanese Starbucks and this was his first time with their coffee.

He takes one sip, and loudly announces “BLACK NIGA!!”.

One of the gentlemen at the table next to him took severe offence to this and punched him in the face.

This is a true story. [/quote]

hahaha i can’t fucking see im laughing so loud right now

#20

[quote]PimpBot5000 wrote:
The following is an extreme case of an unintended insult/giant misunderstanding which is completely true.

The Japanese word for “bitter” (taste) is “nigai”. Many Japanese adjectives end in “i”, for example ayashii (suspicious), kewashii (steep), osoi (late) and so on. In spoken language, the i is sometimes dropped to show exaggeration. Sometimes it is replaced with an “e” (for example: takai = expensive, take = really fucking expensive), other times it is omitted entirely. The language lesson probably bored the hell out of you, but it’s necessary for the story.

A Japanese baseball player, from the Hiroshima Carp I believe, walked into an American Starbucks. He ordered a black coffee with a teammate and sat down next to a table of two black guys. Presumably he had never been to a Japanese Starbucks and this was his first time with their coffee.

He takes one sip, and loudly announces “BLACK NIGA!!”.

One of the gentlemen at the table next to him took severe offence to this and punched him in the face.

This is a true story. [/quote]

Ok, first I lol’d at “Hiroshima Carp”

Then, I REALLY LOL’D at the rest of the story…