T Nation

Unhappines Breeds Greatness

I start this log with a quote from George Leeman… “What I found is it takes an unhappy, unusually motivated individual to excel at this…” After losing everything including my home again, my girlfriend, getting arrested, my diabetes going apeshit, my friends leaving when I need them the most, and having to withdraw from school to work off my debts I’d say i don’t have a whole lot of happiness or life to live for at the moment, so I plan on using all of my depression, hate, sadness, and loneliness to ride as far to the top as I can go…

Bodyweight sitting at 188.2 after sleeping in the van another night and not eating or drinking…

Starting Maxes and Rep PRs
Squat - 285 x 1, 185 x 15
Pause Bench - 275 x 1, 255 x 3
Close-Grip Bench - 245 x 3, 185 x 11, 135 x 15 pause reps
Deadlift - 370 x 1 off a 3" deficit, 240 x 15 off 3" deficit

Update:
4 Weeks deep
Squat (mimicing deadlift stance) - 185 x 21
Medium-wider Squats in oly shoes- 245 x 5
Pause Bench - 255 x 1 (5 sec pause), 225 x 4 (2-3 sec pause), 185 x 10 paused reps
Close-Grip bench - 225 x 6,165 x 18 paused reps
Deadlift - 440 off a 3" deficit, 290 x 17 off a 4" deficit

Here we go…

Tuesday - Deads (Literally…only deads…)

A. 3" Deficit Deads
135 x 3
225 x 2
315 x 1
365 x 1
405 x 1
440 x 1 (70 lb PR from the previous week, 15 lb all time PR)
2 x 0 w/ 460 (figure why not, got greedy…)

So there you have it, I didn’t do anything else and I am going to do it today…I just said fuck it to form and needed to move weight…

Good man. I’m in.

[quote]Josgood wrote:
Good man. I’m in.[/quote]

Thanks man.

Wednesday - Actually Deadlifting to get better
A. 3" Deficit Deads
135 x 2
185 x 2
210 x 7 (was supposed to be my 15 rep set)
185 x 8
135 x 20 (touch and go…these fried my lats)

B. Low Box Squats - 135 x 20

C. Yates Rows - 145 x 15
D. DB Rows - 45 x 20/20/20
E. Band Shrugs (2-3 sec squeeze) - Blue band x 15, 12, 10

My back is murdered after yesterday’s performance in a not so good way so I kept my form 1005% locked in and damn did I realize how bad my lat strength and endurance was…it was hard to stay locked in! I am slowly going to push it up over the weeks and I will definitely be at my best by the time all of this is over…

Thursday - Bench
A. Pause Bench
2 x 10 w. 95
115 x 10
135 x 10
155 x 10
170 x 17 paused reps, 170 x 13 touch and go

B. 2-Board Press - 155 x 20, 155 x 14
C. Spoto Press - 135 x 19, 135 x 20

D. Incline DB Press - 35s x 20, Dropset: 35s x 30/25s x 10
E. Seated DB Press - 25s x 25, 25s x 20

F. Lateral Raises - 5 x 20 w. 5s
G. Band Pushdowns - Black Band x 20/20/15/12/10

Saturday - Squats/Back
A. Squats (30 lb jumps)
95 x 10
125 x 10
155 x 10
185 x 10
215 x 5

B. Yates Rows - 155 x 15
C. DB Rows - 3 x 20 w. 50 (easier than the 45 lber sets that I did on tuesday)

D. Barbell Shrugs (squeeze at the top for a split second, good stretch)
135 x 20
185 x 20
225 x 15
275 x 9

No real PRs this workout other than the yates rows. My back was feeling great until the 185 and 215 set and I could literally feel my back and oblique pulling. Found out last night that my ex is already going on dates with another man… it helped me get things moving this workout but I guess I am learning things with her only depress me and not fire me up…shaking my head…

Sunday - Bench Assistance
A. Close-Grip Pause Bench
2 x 5 w. 95
135 x 5
155 x 16 paused reps
155 x 12 paused reps (rested 20 sec)/3 touch and go reps (rested 15 sec)/ 1 paused rep

B. Close-Grip 2 Board Press - 2 x 25 w. 135
C. Spoto Press - 2 x 20 w. 115
D. Incline Bench - 95 x 25, 95 x 15 (definitely able to bump these up to 105/115 next week)

Overall a very good but fast paced workout, didn’t have time to do everything in one session because I had to push it back a little because my sugars were high and now I have work, but when I get off I plan on finishing my workout. So many max reps sets are pretty mentally draining though I am not even going to lie but by the time I am done I am so tired that I don’t even have the energy to be depressed…lol…

In also.

In as well. Keep your head up, man.

[quote]raven78 wrote:
In also.[/quote]

Awesome thanks man!

[quote]augustburnsred wrote:
In as well. Keep your head up, man.[/quote

Thanks man, I’m doing what I can and things are slowly getting better…

Monday - Deadlifts - St Patties Day, Drunken Mistakes and learning what true friends are

A. 4" Deficit Deads
135 x 5
185 x 2
225 x 2
275 x 1
275 x 11 or 12…went balls out to the point I don’t know how many I got, it was something like 9 deadstop, 2 touch and go, rested 15, missed a rep, rested another 20 and got 1 more rep.

Pretty sure I was half-dead after that set

B. Deadlift Stance Box Squats - worked up to 170 x 15…no more were possible

C. Leg Press (as counted on oly bar)
225 x 10
315 x 5
365 x 20, racked for 5 sec and got pissed off at myself for pussying out, blasted out 10 more reps (probably one of the most excruciatingly painful sets I have ever done, this literally took the life out of me)

Rested 30-40 minutes in the locker room because I couldn’t breathe, function, was dry heaving and couldn’t form words. It was at this point I got bitched out by a stranger for bleeding all over myself from ripping my shins off deadlifting, I cleaned up and headed back out

D. Yates Rows - 165 x 15/5 yet again pissed at myself for only doing the required reps
E. DB Rows - 55 x 20, 15, 10 (just was too gassed at this point)

F. Barbell Shrugs - I couldn’t even fathom these so I did 3 x 15 light upright rows
G. EZ Bar Curls (constant tension, never letting go of the contraction) - 30 x 20, 20, 15, 12, 10

There you have it, gave everything I had on the heavy movements and pussied out on the fluff work…shit happens I guess…

St Patties Day
After everything that has been going on and knowing my ex was with that dude told me that I was going to do whatever I wanted tonight and I did and I went over a girls house, got drunk off of 1 shot of fireball, 3 shots of moonshine, and 2 beers in 10 minutes and I was set for a drunken mistake! Luckily me and her both passed out before we succeeded. Funniest image ever though, her friend walked in on us at 7 am, her shirt off, my pants half down, tangles up and out cold haha

And recently I found out a former friend of mine was spreading rumors that my ex ended it with me because I was fucking with too much Acid, and all I can say is really? Its all good, life has a funny way of getting the people who deserve it…

Tuesday - Bench
A. Pause Bench
95 x 10
135 x 5
175 x 2
205 x 1 (5 sec pause)
225 x 1 (5 sec pause)
245 x 1 (4.5 sec pause, had to rush it…people thought I was pinned and started walking over)

185 x 10 paused reps, 185 x 8 paused reps

B. 2-Board Press - 165 x 10, 165 x 12 (I think…only sure about the first set)
C. Spoto Press - 145 x 10, 8 (same here…)

D. Incline DB Press - 55s x 14, 14
E. Seated DB Press - 40s x 10, 15

F. Lateral Raises - 5 x 20 w. 10 lb plates
G. Smith Kaz Presses (as counted on a 45 lb bar) - 95 x 20, 15, 8
H. Rope Pushdowns - 2 x 20 w. "20"
I. High Incline T- Curls - 15s x 20, 15/5 hammer curls, 12/8 hammer curls, 10/10 hammer curls

Nothing too impressive but overall happy with how I performed despite how shitty I felt…

Songs in my ears to help use the rage and hate… Beautiful People - Marilyn Manson, Hands In the Sky - Straylight Run, Fade Away - Zack Hemsey

Thursday - Lower body 2

A. Squats
95 x 3
135 x 2
175 x 2
205 x 1
245 x 5 (not happy with these…)

At this point I was fuming because I got kicked out again and wanted 10 and I guess people thought I was funny because I psych up so I decided to remind them who’s fucking stronger

B. Deficit Deads
135 x 2
225 x 1
315 x 1
365 x 1
405 x 1
455 x miss, miss (just wasnt in the cards)

C. Leg Press
2 pps x 10
3 pps x 10
4 pps x 10
5 pps x 102 (2 rep PR)
6 pps x 11 (big PR)

D. Yates rows - 175 x 152 (15 felt enough today)
E. DB rows - 3 x 16 w. 55

Friday - Upper Body 2
A. Close-Grip Bench
Worked up to:
225 x 6 touch and go (just felt like going heavy, this might have been a PR?)

165 x 18 paused reps (this WAS a PR, I actually did 16, rested 10 sec, 2 reps…but I had 18 in my head and really wanted it badly)
165 x 9/1 paused reps

B. Close-Grip 2-Board Press - 145 x 28, 145 x 16
C. Spoto Press - 125 x 16, 14

D. Incline Bench - 115 x 24-3, 17 (Huge guess here…but atleast it gives me a number to chase)
E. Military Press w. EZ Bar - 60 x 20, 60 x 13

That was it for today, no time for laterals or extensions or making up curls…had to hurry to work!

Saturday - Upper Body 3
A. Pause Bench
Worked up to:
225 x 4 (first 2 reps were 2 sec pauses, last 2 reps were 3 sec pauses)

B. Sinlge-Arm DB Preacher Curls
15 x 10
25 x 10
35 x 12
45 x 6
25 x 14

C. EZ Bar Extensions
What I did was 10 reps, rest 10 sec, 10 reps, 10 sec, ect for as long as possible. What I got was…
30 x 10/10/10/10/10/8/5 = 63 total reps

D. T-Curls
5s x 20
10s x 10
Dropset: 10s x 15, 5s x 20, 2.5s x 30

E1. Band Pushdowns - Black band x 50
E2. Band Hammer Curls - Black band x 50
E3. Band Pushdowns - Black band x 50

That was it, had even more volume planned but yet again…work…

It’s now Sunday and I can say confidently that I am going to hit 290 x 15 tomorrow off a 4" deficit. I am bloating (already bloated somewhat), I am right now at 190 and am predicting 192-193 tomorrow, so I’ll be a solid 7 lbs heavier than last week this time when I pulled. That and I slept in my van again and can feel the emotions building up again…Yea…atleast 290 for 15 no doubt…

I’m in , keep your head up mate channel all your anger into your lifts its the best way and good luck

Sunday - No day of rest for me, Lower Body 1

A. 4" Deficit Deads
135 x 3
185 x 1
225 x 2 (feeling out touch and go)
290 x 17 (15 lb PR AND added 6 reps, total 50 lb PR from the start of the program and added a rep…)

god damn would I not let myself stop before I get my rep goal…it was 4 shy of the 21 I wanted…

B. Squats (low bar, deadlift stance, head down)
Didn’t feel like dealing with a box this week so I took it as a free squat
135 x 3
185 x 16/5 (I have to stop racking the bar, getting pissed off than I am being a pussy, than continuing…I need to be pissed off immediately and use it than…)

C. Leg Extensions
50 x 20 (2 sec squeeze)
50 x 15 ( 1 sec squeeze)
55 x 12 (split second pause)
60 x 20 (pumping them out)
Stretched each quad hard for 30 seconds

D. Seated Leg Curls
30 x 20 (2 sec squeeze)
40 x 20 (1 sec squeeze)
50 x 20 (pumping them out)
Stretched my hamstrings for 30 seconds too

E. Yates Rows - 185 x 15
F. High Hammer Alternating Pulldowns - (as counted on 45 bar)
Did all the reps on one arm, rested and had a partner stretch the arm not working as I would do the other side*
3 x 12/8 w. 185

G. Barbell Shrugs
135 x 20
185 x 20
225 x 15
275 x 1 (naah…)
8 x 10 w. 135 (10 sec rest between sets)

H. Cable Curls - 5 x 20 w. 15
I. High Incline Machine Curls (4 sec neg) - 90 x 6, 5, 5

This program is kicking ass…I have been PRing on everything every single week…damn it if I am not sore already haha…

[quote]Darren1995 wrote:
I’m in , keep your head up mate channel all your anger into your lifts its the best way and good luck [/quote]

Thanks for the support man! Yea things have been bad lately but atleast everything has given me a knew appreciation for the little things again and it has finally given me fuel to get stronger and compete again…