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Unable to Get Good Sleep, Noisy Roommates

I have noisy housemates and frankly their sex noises keep me up at night.

Hours all night. I have spoken to them about it, but they deny it is them. They continue being loud despite my mentioning it politely more than once.

I bought a white noise machine, and it only reduces the audible sound. But I can still hear clearly and it still wake me up in the middle of the night.

I’m going to buy some earplugs, wax or silicon, to try sleeping with. But the fact that they are denying this and continuing to do it has me feeling disrespected. They should be more mature and admit what’s going on.

I have things to do and I can’t function normally sleep deprived. Moreover, it’s affecting my muscle recovery.

This living arrangement is not going to work out, but I can’t afford to get a new place for months. So I need some advice or else it’s going to get confrontational.

Get confrontational.

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I’m gonna take a different tack, no offense to @T3hPwnisher.

I say start cheering them on. Get involved. Start clapping doing the “Woo-Woo-Woo!” thing, ramp it up with some commands like you’re rooting for the home team- “Get dem nutz… Up in dem gutz!”.

When they climax start slapping the wall yellin Yeah! High Five!

Like, get really really into it.

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1). Be a deeper sleeper. Or get more equipment. Like, a white noise machine, a loud fan, and ear plugs should do the trick.

2). I doubt it’s affecting your muscle recovery thaaaat much. And sleep deprived? Do they last all night long?

3). While @SkyzykS had the best advice I’d ever heard, I would say if you can bring a girl home and do the same, that would maybe work as well. Or it’d end up being a competition. Try it and see.

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No. They should be exactly as mature as they want to be. YOU need to make better roommate selections in the future. Our choices have consequences. You sound whiny and annoying. They probably don’t like you either.

Dude get the fuck out of here with that nonsense. I was living in a goddamn fraternity house for a year in college, and I kept putting on muscle. Now you REALLY sound whiny and annoying.

Sounds like you’ve got a shitty few months ahead of you. But again, this was a choice YOU made.

Let’s play this out though. I’m gonna pretend I’m your roommate. Your whiny ass comes to me and you say ‘hey dude. You’re fucking too much. Stop fucking so much. I can’t sleep and my muscle recovery is suffering.’ You know what my response would be? I would laugh at you, and I’d just do it more, and louder, just to piss you off.

So yea. Confrontation is probably a stupid play here. Just suck it up, get ear plugs, a white noise machine, a girlfriend, whatever. Deal with it.

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I’d suggest that sleep deprivation is preparation for having children, but it doesn’t sound like you participate in the activity that creates children.

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Most likely the problem.

No one ever complains about the noise when it’s them doing the noise making.

It appears the meet in the middle solution is for him to have sex with his roommates. Then they will too tired to make noise in the evening.

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“You guys were quite loud last night” wink
“To be honest, it turns me on quite a bit hearing it”
“I couldn’t help myself but jerk off to it… best, orgasm, EVER!”

I think that will sort everything out.

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Give “Relax Melodies” app a try.
I’m assuming going to the landlord is out of the question?

I had some great solutions typed out before I went for a walk with my kids, and came back, and everyone pretty covered what I was going for, so good on all of ya, and carry on.

By the way, please, please, please tell your roommates that their sex is affecting your gainz.

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I’m laughing as I imagine this conversation. You understand that the noisy sex-haver is the OP’s roommate, not a random neighbor, right?

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I have another solution. Find a sound clip of a cat meowing (as they do when they want food). Every time they get a bit loud, blare that through your speakers.

If you want to up the ante, make it of a baby crying.

I feel your pain. The people on my floor love to invite very loud friends over. Last Friday, these people (3-4 of them) were louder than the fraternity outside my window throwing a big party!!! :anger:

Housemate? I assumed different rooms. But, worth a laugh.
I’m kept up when my dog finds a water bottle to chew on. Not as exciting.

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Oh, haha, maybe you’re right! That would explain their denial that they’re the ones making the noises.

Haha, husband snoring is my big gains-stopper.

Okay, number one yes most of the night. It’s annoying as fuck.

Plot twist: it’s my mom and stepdad. That’s why it pisses me off. They’re twice my age, lying their asses off to me. It grosses me out. Brb, I’m going to go sleep in my car.

Plus I’m pretty sure this is emotionally abusive. I would think most parents would make an effort to be quite if someone in the family brings it up. And to deny it as adults and family members in the house, how pathetic is that? Just be honest and work to solve the issue.

But in all honesty, it’s pretty clear they don’t give a fuck so really I’m starting to think living in my car is a better option.

How old are you?

Why’d you move back home after
College?

If my twenty something year old moves back in you better believe I’m doing everything, including hate fucking, to make them want to leave :joy:

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Plot twist or not, I’m doubling down on my original recommendation.

We’ll get you on the Dr. Phil show yet!

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