T Nation

Twilight: New Moon


#1

Oh My Gawd....this movie was like, so hawt. I mean, like, when the HAWT vampire guy Edward Cullin came on scene, I like had shivers. Oh, and like the 5th time Taylor Lautner took his shirt off, all of the girls in the room fainted...and then we woke up and ate chocolate. This movie has redefined young love and like werewolves and stuff.

Some people say this movie is like Titanic...but the Titanic movie is soooo last year and Leonardo is so OLD now. This movie is NOTHING like Titanic. I mean, yes, it involves Hollywood HAWT guys, an average looking female love interest, a basic plot meant to only support a weaker puppy dog love story and the overuse of eyeliner...but that is where the similarities end!

If you girls out there want to see a GREAT movie with HAWT guys who LOVE eyeliner and taking their shirts off every 5 minutes on screen with a great basic plot device seen 5,000 times in other movies along with the active dulling down of a historically dark concept involving sucking blood, sex and murder, this movie is for you. Oh, and SPARKLES!!!!


#2

I hope in the new Twilight Eclipse movie Lord Voldemort makes a cameo and kills this Cedric Diggory again.


#3

lol, my wife loved the books. It worked out for me, because I got control of the remote for like 3 or 4 nights.

I surf teh interwebs when she puts this shit on the TV though, well whichever one we have on blueray.


#4

I think Ct. Rockula was an extra in that movie....


#5

GASP!! You just do NOT know what you are missing! I was on the edge of my seat the entire 20 minutes that I tolerated this movie. The adrenaline just kept on pumping as the main character....learned to ride a dirt bike. When she accelerated, my heart accelerated with her!!!!


#6

Saw it in theater with the gf. Thought it was gay and she surprisingly thought it wasn't great. Watched the newest trailer and holy shit I cannot believe it, I think I know what's going to happen already. I won't spoil it but the trailer went a little like this...

"OMG the red haired bitch is back"
Jacob - "Bella, its either me or Edward"
DUN DUN
Edward - "Bella, its either me or Jacob"
DUN DUN DDUUNN
Jacob - "I will never hurt you, emotionally but I will slap a bitch if yous gets out of hand"

So plain and I can't believe girls buy into this IMO. Time to grow up.


#7

I bet you didn't see Jacob taking his shit off to stop the bleeding of Bella's head!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


#8

grabs popcorn

Wait...that's it? I wanted more commentary!!


#9

Oh MY Gawd, she was like bleeding everywhere and he, like the GOD he is, took his shirt off to stop her from bleeding to death!!! OH, I just melted as I reached for the remote and turned it off.


#10

Man, I got dragged to see that shit too. Luckily, I went to the Arlington Cinema 'N Draft House, so I could have a pitcher of beer to drown in my misery as I endured it. Honestly, I don't think I could have sat through that movie if I were sober.

The up side is that my reward for sitting through that piece of shit of a movie, was that I got to fuck a hot twenty three year old afterwords! She even asked me to role play a bit...

The things we do to get laid... LOL


#11

Idk about you guys...but this is a play by play of how I felt when I saw the new Twilight trailer:

www.youtube.com/user/pyrobooby?blend=1&ob=4#p/u/1/h6-J_3gWh5M


#12

I bet your estrogen levels during that time was like WAAAAYYY up then you turned it off and you were like "What the fuck am I doing watching this?". Then you play God Of War thinking that all the characters are Edward and Jacob killing them over and over again. Then you get to the sex scene and alls it is is Bella in the bed and you totally just want to get with her because you are more jacked then the 16 year old Jackob. Then Bella catches you yelling Edwards and Jacobs name during secks.

Am I right or am I right?


#13

fucking video won't load


#14

He catered during shooting. It was something about not wanting any large black vampires on screen because they might make 14 year old girls afraid of the concepts....plus, Sparkles don't show up so well.


#15

I actually had a vagina when I finished watching this. I was scared at first, but then I took a shower with one of those vibrating shower heads..........


#16

This whole movie was the most trivial and blatant exploitation of teenage angst I have ever seen. After I started watching it as a series of case studies it became quite amusing.

Enter the werewolf:

Ah, his body goes through changes and he becomes all hairy and powerful! Ah, the things he would do to this girl if he does not keep himself in check! She is obviously drawn to this HAWT young werewolf because he struggles with his more primal nature and finds a way to channel it to save and protect her.

Bella:

Well, if she gets penetrated, and be it by the teeth of a sexually ambiguous vampire, it better be forever! And ever. And ever.

That movie was simply hilarious and I cant wait for a sequel.


#17

If they had the forethought to provide two different versions...one WITH a laugh track and one without, I am sure they would outdo even these "Titanic" box office credits.

I was confused as to when to laugh....so God of War did enter the picture at about that time.


#18

I don't know about that ... he sparkles like the fourth of july on these boards


#19

There's something fishy going on here. Pic courtesy of photoshopdisaster.com

Orion: I think you are reading way too much into what is essentially some fat mormon chick's wet dream. I refuse to believe that there is any hidden meaning in anything beyond the fact that the author finds young boys arousing.


#20

Not shocking. You would be surprised how much editing goes into many of the pictures we see on a regular basis. They even photoshop out beer guts on male models so they don't even have to workout at times (if clothed in the picture).

I actually do think Orion AND you are spot on...it's both.