First things first, welcome to my thread, here you will read about the trials and tribulations involved in converting me, Tubbynewb, from the very overweight and out of shape human block of camembert that I am into a healthy and happy individual.
I have some goals some easier to achieve than others, some possibly unreachable but they are what I am going for non the less.
As this is a public forum you are all free to say whatever you like in response to my posts, your constructive criticism is welcome, but if you decide to just come in and hang shit on me to get a reaction I will probably tell you to fuck off at best.
My writings will be full of fruity language, I realise It lowers my intellect to stoop to profanity as a means of expressing myself but sometimes its just what the doctor ordered plus careful selection of cuss words can make a sentence a lot funnier.
My writings will also be full of self depreciating talk, this is not designed to garner sympathy and elicit an outpouring of praise, this isnâ??t grade 5 when I say Iâ??m a fat piece of shit who has wasted the great gifts god gave him, I honestly mean that I am a fat piece of shit who has wasted the great gifts that god has given him.
My writings will also be full of spelling and grammatical errors, I will attempt to correct them, but I will still make some mistakes. If you are truly offended by my gross disregard for the rules of the English language please feel free to offer to be my editor, forever setting yourself up to correct my punctuation lack of capitalisation and frankly abhorrent spelling.
Those of you who are coming here from the link in Chrisâ??s thread thanks for the support you have already shown me, this post will probably have a few more car analogies but then ill peter them out in favour of something else only to have them come back again at some other stage.
300andabove thank you very much for your offer of support. Because of the early stage I am at and previous failures I would like to prove to myself, and a couple of others, that I can stick at a course of action for a period of time and make the right choices consistently, before undertaking something like the velocity diet. I have a program which I think suits my needs at the moment, but when the time comes and I start to plateau badly you will probably find yourself bothered with questions and requests for help.
{For those of you who haven’t read Chris’s blog I commented in there and compared myself to a broken down 79 Camaro with only 3 wheels and a sign reading unfinished project who wants to be the head turning show piece; it was funnier the first time.}
My diet over the last 5 weeks has been fairly bad after being quite good for about 4 weeks. I want it to go back to good and to stay that way for about 6 months.
To start off with I wont be working out ratios of carbs and fats and protein. I will be consuming more protein, and a lot less saturated fat and sugar. When my progress starts to slow up I will become stricter, but if I go very strict to start off with again I think I will probably last for a while and then fall apart again. I figure so long as what I eat isnâ??t crap food I will still make good progress for now.
I will be away from computers from the 18th of September until the 6th of October, so if you start reading and then I stop posting, I havenâ??t given up or died, I will be back.
So onto how I did last night with my complex.
To use the same analogy of the busted up Camaro with only three wheels, I found a fourth wheel tried to put it on but it didnâ??t fit, I pushed and pushed and by the time I found the right wheel I was to knackered to put it on or do up the bolts.
Translation, I used too much weight in my complex for the setup I was using, i.e. no bumper plates old school non Olympic no bearings in shaft bar. The dead lifts of both kinds were very easy, as was the row, but the cleans were quite hard and when I went to do my front squats, well that little dizziness problem that I have been having* kicked up and I wasnâ??t able to do them. I lowered the weight and did a set of bodyweight squats, held onto my washing line as I tried not to pass out then went and did the push presses did another set of bodyweight squats and tried not to pass out again and then decided that a good morning wasnâ??t the best exercise to be attempting at that time and it was time to reduce the weight.
I lowered the weight but the damage was already done, I had taxed myself a little too much and was unable to safely continue. This does not mean to say I see it as a complete failure. I would have much preferred to have just gone home looked at pictures of t vixens and eaten cake but I went home changed and attempted to work out.
I was beaten but I didnâ??t get thrashed, and ill be able to have another go soon.
This morning I didnâ??t have doughnuts for breakfast, I had an Aussie Bodies protein recovery drink instead. And while I felt satisfied that I made a better choice than I had for quite some time I wasnâ??t actually left feeling satisfied.
To start off with after finishing the drink the inside of my mouth tasted a little like I had just tossed the salad of the red m&m, a little chocolaty a little salty but mostly just like shit. I also wasnâ??t satisfied that this product cost me $5 and had a crap load of sugar in it. Less sugar than a Jam doughnut but bloody hell if Iâ??m going to pay 5 bucks to drink something that tastes like arse anyway why make it taste like an arse that has been dildoed with a candy cane, the plane arse version will do me just fine thanks.
I have also managed not to get anything from the morning tea trolley today, not a big deal you say; wrong.
The morning tea trolley is full of pies and sausage rolls and cakes and scones and I heard a rumour there are sandwiches but I couldnâ??t really give a toss about those. So your there working away and the trolley comes in full of tasty but unhealthy foods that are on the no tubbynewb list and their smell hits you, activating your salivary glands. Then just in case you missed the smell a bell is rung to indicate that the lady is there and like pavlovs dog, you respond.
If you manage to survive the ringing of the bell and the wonderful aroma of heart attack in pastry there is the mob mentality that you also have to resist, as half the office floor rush and push and shove to get their fix. And of course high flyer that I am my cubical, read 4â??6â?? walls on two sides, is on the passage so everybody walks past me on their way to and from the cart.
I managed to resist its charms for a little over a month, have been suckered back in but today was the first of many where I can once again say I havenâ??t had anything from the morning tea trolley.
So where am I at now and where do I wish to go; well I am currently just under 6â?? tall and I weigh about 122kgs with somewhere close to 40% body fat, the camembert comment makes sense now Iâ??m sure. I want to get down to around 87kgs, and 8 or 9% body fat.
Iâ??m not after hawt abz, although of course I do want to one day be able to pose on the site with a shoe, I want my skin to fit my body, and unless I get into single digit body fat my skin is never going to have the kind of connectivity I need.
I figure what I need to do is to work as much fat off as possible while maintaining what little muscle I have now and building a little more, until I get down to about 82 or 83 kgs and then to focus on building muscle. At this stage if I was to get down to that weight and 85% of what I loose was to be body fat I would be at 82kgs with 16.5% body fat.
For those of you who are not mathematically inclined ill save you the brain strain; reversing all of that tells you that I carry around 47kgs of fat every day.
The amount of time to achieve my goals will be measured in years, it will probably be close to 12 months before I am even close to 15%, and then probably another 12 to get down to 10%, and then probably another 12 to get to 8% which is where I want to be.
Congratulations for surviving this far, thanks for reading, Iâ??m looking forward to reading your comments if you have them.
Cheers
Tubby.
Lets see what it is like in a small while eh 