T Nation

Trying to Get My Life Together, Any Advice is Welcomed

[quote]Yogi wrote:

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]Yogi wrote:

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]Yogi wrote:

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]doogie wrote:
Today isn’t like in the 1950s where you start working in the factory out of high school and stay there until retirement.
[/quote]
Where I grew up, it was like this. This was in the 90s. All around me were drug addicts because it was hopeless there. So I left at 18 and joined the military in another country for citizenship and money for higher education.

What the fuck are you kids growing up in the 1st world so depressed about??? You have opportunity. When there is opportunity there is hope. There is freedom of choice because there are OPTIONS. You are upset because you can’t make up your minds and have no direction? And you turn to addiction to substances or food because life is so fucked up? Your worlds come crashing down when you reach puberty and find out you may be a little less attractive to the opposite sex because of your physical development or bodycomp? Maybe working in a child labour factory will put things in perspective for you. Or visit a 3rd world nation and see families searching rubbish dumps for food as fulltime jobs cos daddy lost his leg in an accident and can’t get a job.

Fuck. You have opportunity. Use it. Life is what you make of it. Others have to go through hell and high water to get what you take for granted. INCLUDING MEDICAL TREATMENT FOR CLINICAL DEPRESSION. If you have it, go see a doctor.[/quote]

you talk English real good for a Chinaman[/quote]
Thanks but I’m not from China lol. My wife is.

It’s fried rice you plick![/quote]

haha, I know. I’m just too racist to care[/quote]
Grr… I will hunt you down and eat your dog [/quote]

I would actually pay you money to do so. Fucking girlfriend’s pomeranian pisses me off so much. I’m allowed an English bulldog but not til it dies so chow down[/quote]
Sure. Pomeranians piss everyone off. Come eat my wife’s schnauzer/poodle mix and we’ll call it even. It’s driving me nuts too. Think about it, how many people in this world get to say,“I ate a fucking chinaman’s dog!”

Pomeranians and poodles shouldn’t even be considered as dogs. They are just bigger, fancier looking rats.

[quote]Iron Condor wrote:
Pomeranians and poodles shouldn’t even be considered as dogs. They are just bigger, fancier looking rats.[/quote]
No! We have a pom and a peekapoo at work and they are the funniest creatures on earth.

[quote]FlatsFarmer wrote:
I thought you guys over there would just call it a bulldog.

[/quote]

you, sir, have just made an enemy for life

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]Yogi wrote:

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]Yogi wrote:

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]Yogi wrote:

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]doogie wrote:
Today isn’t like in the 1950s where you start working in the factory out of high school and stay there until retirement.
[/quote]
Where I grew up, it was like this. This was in the 90s. All around me were drug addicts because it was hopeless there. So I left at 18 and joined the military in another country for citizenship and money for higher education.

What the fuck are you kids growing up in the 1st world so depressed about??? You have opportunity. When there is opportunity there is hope. There is freedom of choice because there are OPTIONS. You are upset because you can’t make up your minds and have no direction? And you turn to addiction to substances or food because life is so fucked up? Your worlds come crashing down when you reach puberty and find out you may be a little less attractive to the opposite sex because of your physical development or bodycomp? Maybe working in a child labour factory will put things in perspective for you. Or visit a 3rd world nation and see families searching rubbish dumps for food as fulltime jobs cos daddy lost his leg in an accident and can’t get a job.

Fuck. You have opportunity. Use it. Life is what you make of it. Others have to go through hell and high water to get what you take for granted. INCLUDING MEDICAL TREATMENT FOR CLINICAL DEPRESSION. If you have it, go see a doctor.[/quote]

you talk English real good for a Chinaman[/quote]
Thanks but I’m not from China lol. My wife is.

It’s fried rice you plick![/quote]

haha, I know. I’m just too racist to care[/quote]
Grr… I will hunt you down and eat your dog [/quote]

I would actually pay you money to do so. Fucking girlfriend’s pomeranian pisses me off so much. I’m allowed an English bulldog but not til it dies so chow down[/quote]
Sure. Pomeranians piss everyone off. Come eat my wife’s schnauzer/poodle mix and we’ll call it even. It’s driving me nuts too. Think about it, how many people in this world get to say,“I ate a fucking chinaman’s dog!”[/quote]

A schnauzer/poodle mix sounds amazing! But yeah, if I have to sacrifice it for the greater good then I will. I bet I can buy some really nice side dishes where you’re from to go with it.

God I love Asian food. Can your wife cook? Does she know how Chinese restaurants make that awesome yellow curry sauce? I can never seem to recreate it.

I don’t think it’s racist of me to ask that but I honestly don’t even know anymore

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]Iron Condor wrote:
Pomeranians and poodles shouldn’t even be considered as dogs. They are just bigger, fancier looking rats.[/quote]
No! We have a pom and a peekapoo at work and they are the funniest creatures on earth.[/quote]

see ordinarily I like pom’s, but this one’s got an attitude. It’s aggressive towards other dogs and it’s really embarrassing. Snaps at other dogs on walks.

It’s not its fault - it’s my girlfriend’s for not disciplining it. Fucking things 11 years old and still not fully housetrained.

[quote]Yogi wrote:
God I love Asian food. Can your wife cook? Does she know how Chinese restaurants make that awesome yellow curry sauce? I can never seem to recreate it.

I don’t think it’s racist of me to ask that but I honestly don’t even know anymore
[/quote]
I don’t really know of a Chinese yellow curry sauce.

There’s a few well known Thai curries (Panang is usually yellow) and it comes in a can you mix with coconut milk.

That what you’re talking about?

There’s also some more brown Japanese curries, which we don’t seem to have any of right now.

[quote]Yogi wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]Iron Condor wrote:
Pomeranians and poodles shouldn’t even be considered as dogs. They are just bigger, fancier looking rats.[/quote]
No! We have a pom and a peekapoo at work and they are the funniest creatures on earth.[/quote]

see ordinarily I like pom’s, but this one’s got an attitude. It’s aggressive towards other dogs and it’s really embarrassing. Snaps at other dogs on walks.

It’s not its fault - it’s my girlfriend’s for not disciplining it. Fucking things 11 years old and still not fully housetrained.[/quote]
I think that is part of the breed. They have no idea what size they are and poop on stuff intentionally.Like crazy strippers of the dog world.

[quote]Yogi wrote:
God I love Asian food. Can your wife cook? Does she know how Chinese restaurants make that awesome yellow curry sauce? I can never seem to recreate it.

I don’t think it’s racist of me to ask that but I honestly don’t even know anymore
[/quote]
Lol I’ve never heard of it. There’s no curry in traditional chinese dishes. If there’s curry, it’s either an original dish the chef came up with or something originating from southeast asia. Are you talking about soy bean paste?

I can’t stomach what my wife cooks. That’s why we eat out most of the time. “Real” chinese food from her part of China usually has an inch of oil floating on the surface.

There’s really nothing you can call me in the English language that I would construe as racist. Seriously.

My girlfriend and her family are from Zhejiang. She mostly grew up here, but her grandma did all the cooking at home, so she was raised on homecooked Chinese food and learned to cook several dishes herself.

I get some great Chinese food at home, but it’s not very similar to the standard restaurant fare. “American Chinese” is kind of its own cuisine, and I’d guess there’s probably a “UK Chinese” cuisine too. That’s probably why I’ve never heard of “Chinese curry”.

The most basic vegetable recipe is chopped relatively fine (bite sized pieces), then pan-fried in a bit of oil with sliced or minced garlic, seasoned with [granulated] chicken bullion and a bit of salt. Stuff like asparagus, broccoli and cauliflower is blanched for 30 seconds in boiling water before being pan fried. I’d normally say “sauteed”, but it’s actually a lot hotter; pretty much near smoke point. It’s cooked quick, with sometimes a bit of browning at the edges, especially on stuff like zucchini.

Sometimes stuff gets a bit more seasoning with maybe a bit of ginger or light and dark soy sauce, or some thickening with a bit of cornstarch.

There’s also stir fried tomato and egg. A handful of fairly accurate recipes show up online for that.

As far as meat, if it’s pan-fried, slices are usually marinated in some combination of cornstarch, water, soy sauce and rice wine for a few minutes (usually this is done first, while everything else is being prepped). Sometimes ginger and garlic are added to that marinade.

This is really just touching the surface, but we have a lot of really simple dishes like that.

I didn’t even know that would be offensive!

Davey Boy Smith wasn’t called The British English Bulldog. Thats my only frame of reference.

Also, I watched “Snatch” like 100 times.

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]NotD wrote:
I’m definitely in it for the long haul, [/quote]

First off. Don’t say shit like this. Don’t waste your time with thinking long term while you have the following problem:

This is the biggest problem here I can see. (Like was mentioned, getting in physical shape is a GREAT start and a good thing to do. It will also be infinitely simpler than solving the above.) Note the difference between simple and easy. It won’t be easy, neither will finding addressing the above issue, but will be simple as hell. There are such a plethora of ways to lift and eat and have it work, you literally can’t fail if you actually try. Trying is hard, but simple as fuck. You know what I’m saying?

As to fix the above, read and re-read this post until it sinks in:

[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:
I’ve spent the last 6 or so months learning how to cook and it’s honestly been one of the best investments in myself I’ve ever made.

[/quote]

Now it isn’t about the cooking. Note the bold part.

You need to drop the hobbies that are basically mental masturbation (video games) until you have direction. Once you have direction, feel free to take breaks crushing the Xbox.

How do you find direction? Lord fucking knows man, but hobbies where you are LEARNING something while you do it, as skill of some kind, will be a good start. I don’t care if it is playing guitar, knitting or physics. Shit you can learn about how the chemicals in your brain react to different drugs (I can pull the name of the book my wife has from undergrad that was a tough fucking read because I had to look up so much shit just to get through it if you’d like.) Doesn’t matter what you’re learning, just be learning. Xbox isn’t learning.

For instance, my two hobbies right now are shooting (and hand loading ammo) and guitar. I’ve been reading up on how pickups work when I’m not playing, and how to make precision rifle rounds when I’m not shooting. I’ve learned more fucking physics than I ever thought I’d ever know from this shit. Electrical “theory” (I have no idea what the actual word is) as well. Point is, I’m not sitting on my ass wasting my life watching shit TV. And this is coming from someone with direction, weekly, monthly, year long, five year and life goals. On top of my goals I also have dreams, that may or may not happen but I’d like to fit them in.

Eventually, you’ll find something you like. If I were you I’d look up something like “how do you code a video game” on youtube and watch videos on how to make the games you play. Then google shit that comes up you don’t understand, and keep digging from there until you find something you like. If you play COD or whatever, google warfare strategy or books on combat and PTSD, etc. Fuck man, if you have netflix watch some documentaries on whatever subject the games you play are on.

Just do something, instead of nothing, with your time.

As long as it’s little 'd" depression and not big “D” depression don’t sweat it. If it’s big D, get on your parents heath plan and go talk to a professional.

More likely it was “work”. Most normal people don’t “like” work. The key is not seeing work as work. Because not being fat is going to take work is why I bring this up.

[quote]being addicted
[/quote]

You use interesting language in this thread. If, deep down, this is a cry for help, but you aren’t ready unless someone digs and digs and proves they care… You won’t find that on the internet. Can’t promise you’ll find it with a Shrink either, but there are people out there that care. I promise. But at the end of the day, you’ll have to meet everyone half way, and do all the work.

I’m drunk and making a lot of assumptions, and i’m not a professional here. So take what I’m saying with a grain of salt. Last time I gave a flying fuck about a dude in one of these threads I was meet with a harsh rebuke of what I was saying to the tune of “this kid is going to have to figure all this out on his own”. So I’m weary of bothering again at this point. [/quote]

I just logged back on, and to be drunk that was some pretty damn good advice. I don’t think it’s the clinical depression you’re talking about. and if it was, it’s gone now because I am fine when I’m with other people and even by myself as long as my mind is occupied. I guess the “depression” hits when I think about how I’ve not accomplished much in life and not having that direction. I feel like I’m trying to push myself into something I’m not because what I might like is scary, you know? You and another poster hit the nail on the head, I’ve always been interested in military type stuff, military games, some of the people I used to like to read about were people like Teddy Roosevelt and Clint Eastwood even though I know he wasn’t actually a political or military figure, old Soviet Union military history (I don’t know why, it’s a weird thing I like, studying the Soviet Union) and stuff like that.

Eating right is so hard for me man, I know it might sound like a bitch ass excuse but I am addicted to cheap greasy food. My mom stopped cooking when I was like 12 or something and all we did and still do eat is fast food for the most part. And I’m surrounded by it at work, so my body is constantly filled with junk.

Thanks for that reply man, it made me think.

And to the other dude that thought I was that Dave guy, I can assure you I’m not. The only “bodybuilding” site I have ever looked at is bodybuilding.com and that’s only the misc section.

[quote]NotD wrote:

Eating right is so hard for me man, I know it might sound like a bitch ass excuse but I am addicted to cheap greasy food. My mom stopped cooking when I was like 12 or something and all we did and still do eat is fast food for the most part. And I’m surrounded by it at work, so my body is constantly filled with junk.
[/quote]

If you want leanness bad enough, this will cease to be an obstacle. All I can say is suck it up and start eliminating barriers. Many of us on the board have been there, lost a small mountain of fat, and lived to tell the tale. There’s nothing special here, but I’ll hand you that it isn’t so easy when you’ve been conditioned to eat crap. I was in the same situation for years, and was once fat enough to take a job selling spare shade on the beach.

Educate yourself on proper food choices. Make small changes. Start be reducing or eliminating sweetened soft drinks and beverages. Then start eating more fruits and vegetables first, at each meal. Up your intake of whole, minimally processed foods. If you are going to eat “cheap greasy food,” eat slower, drink more water with your meal, and eat half of what you normally would eat. It has to start somewhere. Many people are surrounded by it at work. So what, that’s part of living in a culture saturated with calorie dense food. Bring your lunches to work, eat leftovers, make wiser food choices, and avoid the break room. The first week or two will be the hardest adjustment, and then it really does get easier and you’ll feel much better.

[quote]Iron Condor wrote:
Pomeranians and poodles shouldn’t even be considered as dogs. They are just bigger, fancier looking rats.[/quote]

You guys are funny but it’s not cool including Poodles into that mix. Poodles are worthy of our respect. All Poodles from the full size down to the minis are willing to put their lives on the line too protect their owners. Since they are not built for fighting like Rotts or Pits, they often do lose their lives for their owners. When has a Pom ever died protecting a little boy in the front yard? Happens all the time with poodles.

[quote]NotD wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]NotD wrote:
I’m definitely in it for the long haul, [/quote]

First off. Don’t say shit like this. Don’t waste your time with thinking long term while you have the following problem:

This is the biggest problem here I can see. (Like was mentioned, getting in physical shape is a GREAT start and a good thing to do. It will also be infinitely simpler than solving the above.) Note the difference between simple and easy. It won’t be easy, neither will finding addressing the above issue, but will be simple as hell. There are such a plethora of ways to lift and eat and have it work, you literally can’t fail if you actually try. Trying is hard, but simple as fuck. You know what I’m saying?

As to fix the above, read and re-read this post until it sinks in:

[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:
I’ve spent the last 6 or so months learning how to cook and it’s honestly been one of the best investments in myself I’ve ever made.

[/quote]

Now it isn’t about the cooking. Note the bold part.

You need to drop the hobbies that are basically mental masturbation (video games) until you have direction. Once you have direction, feel free to take breaks crushing the Xbox.

How do you find direction? Lord fucking knows man, but hobbies where you are LEARNING something while you do it, as skill of some kind, will be a good start. I don’t care if it is playing guitar, knitting or physics. Shit you can learn about how the chemicals in your brain react to different drugs (I can pull the name of the book my wife has from undergrad that was a tough fucking read because I had to look up so much shit just to get through it if you’d like.) Doesn’t matter what you’re learning, just be learning. Xbox isn’t learning.

For instance, my two hobbies right now are shooting (and hand loading ammo) and guitar. I’ve been reading up on how pickups work when I’m not playing, and how to make precision rifle rounds when I’m not shooting. I’ve learned more fucking physics than I ever thought I’d ever know from this shit. Electrical “theory” (I have no idea what the actual word is) as well. Point is, I’m not sitting on my ass wasting my life watching shit TV. And this is coming from someone with direction, weekly, monthly, year long, five year and life goals. On top of my goals I also have dreams, that may or may not happen but I’d like to fit them in.

Eventually, you’ll find something you like. If I were you I’d look up something like “how do you code a video game” on youtube and watch videos on how to make the games you play. Then google shit that comes up you don’t understand, and keep digging from there until you find something you like. If you play COD or whatever, google warfare strategy or books on combat and PTSD, etc. Fuck man, if you have netflix watch some documentaries on whatever subject the games you play are on.

Just do something, instead of nothing, with your time.

As long as it’s little 'd" depression and not big “D” depression don’t sweat it. If it’s big D, get on your parents heath plan and go talk to a professional.

More likely it was “work”. Most normal people don’t “like” work. The key is not seeing work as work. Because not being fat is going to take work is why I bring this up.

[quote]being addicted
[/quote]

You use interesting language in this thread. If, deep down, this is a cry for help, but you aren’t ready unless someone digs and digs and proves they care… You won’t find that on the internet. Can’t promise you’ll find it with a Shrink either, but there are people out there that care. I promise. But at the end of the day, you’ll have to meet everyone half way, and do all the work.

I’m drunk and making a lot of assumptions, and i’m not a professional here. So take what I’m saying with a grain of salt. Last time I gave a flying fuck about a dude in one of these threads I was meet with a harsh rebuke of what I was saying to the tune of “this kid is going to have to figure all this out on his own”. So I’m weary of bothering again at this point. [/quote]

I just logged back on, and to be drunk that was some pretty damn good advice. I don’t think it’s the clinical depression you’re talking about. and if it was, it’s gone now because I am fine when I’m with other people and even by myself as long as my mind is occupied. I guess the “depression” hits when I think about how I’ve not accomplished much in life and not having that direction. I feel like I’m trying to push myself into something I’m not because what I might like is scary, you know? You and another poster hit the nail on the head, I’ve always been interested in military type stuff, military games, some of the people I used to like to read about were people like Teddy Roosevelt and Clint Eastwood even though I know he wasn’t actually a political or military figure, old Soviet Union military history (I don’t know why, it’s a weird thing I like, studying the Soviet Union) and stuff like that.

Eating right is so hard for me man, I know it might sound like a bitch ass excuse but I am addicted to cheap greasy food. My mom stopped cooking when I was like 12 or something and all we did and still do eat is fast food for the most part. And I’m surrounded by it at work, so my body is constantly filled with junk.

Thanks for that reply man, it made me think.

And to the other dude that thought I was that Dave guy, I can assure you I’m not. The only “bodybuilding” site I have ever looked at is bodybuilding.com and that’s only the misc section.[/quote]

Hey, get the hell out of here with this post. The conversation is now purse dogs and chinese food!

So I’ve really taken to dropping a teaspoon of coconut oil into my coffee with some milk and sugar. It’s like a cup of happiness!
Anybody else do that?

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
So I’ve really taken to dropping a teaspoon of coconut oil into my coffee with some milk and sugar. It’s like a cup of happiness!
Anybody else do that?[/quote]
I like coconut oil with with green or oolong tea, no milk, sometimes sugar. I did the butter and coffee thing, but never coconut oil.

I have coffee, milk, sugar, and coconut oil though. Maybe I’ll give that a shot.

[quote]LoRez wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
So I’ve really taken to dropping a teaspoon of coconut oil into my coffee with some milk and sugar. It’s like a cup of happiness!
Anybody else do that?[/quote]
I like coconut oil with with green or oolong tea, no milk, sometimes sugar. I did the butter and coffee thing, but never coconut oil.

I have coffee, milk, sugar, and coconut oil though. Maybe I’ll give that a shot.[/quote]
Cool! I have some green tea I’ll drop a dollop into.

[quote]LoRez wrote:
My girlfriend and her family are from Zhejiang. She mostly grew up here, but her grandma did all the cooking at home, so she was raised on homecooked Chinese food and learned to cook several dishes herself.

I get some great Chinese food at home, but it’s not very similar to the standard restaurant fare. “American Chinese” is kind of its own cuisine, and I’d guess there’s probably a “UK Chinese” cuisine too. That’s probably why I’ve never heard of “Chinese curry”.[/quote]

There’s no real “standard” Chinese cuisine. You may be getting different popular dishes from various parts of China in your menus. My wife is also from Zhejiang(Nanchang). What she cooks may be quite different from what they cook in Shaoxing. My ancestors(shit this sounds like a kungfu movie) were from Fujian and Chaozhou. Our dishes are different. I usually eat Cantonese food when I eat out. It’s hotpot season now. Regarding Chinese curry, it’s probably a new invention like Wasabi Prawns. I remember trying to suck the juice out of a wasabi filled prawn head in a restaurant in Guangzhou. The pain was exquisite.