Hey everyone, I am new to the forums! I have been looking at a few different forums and this place seemed to be the most knowledgeable and helpful to everyone from what I have seen! So I guess I'll jump right in and give a little background of myself. I am 31 years 6'2" currently 275lbs and have approximately 25-30% bf (it has increased alot over the past 3 years). I have been training for 14 years and used gear starting 5 years ago. My goals are to drop the BF % and increase my lean muscle mass. I am starting the process now and hoping to drop to roughly 215lbs by summer. Current supplement regiment is 1000mg fish oil 3x daily, vit D3 500IU, multivitamin (garden of life with probiotics and digestive enzymes), turmeric, and rhodolia rosea. Also every morning I mix black seed oil, manuka honey, cinnamon, cayanne pepper, ginger, and lemon juice to get my body ready for the day. I also mix 1tsp Himalayan salt with 16oz water as soon as I wake up to drink to get the adrenal glands fired up.
My diet is free range eggs, wild caught fish, leafy greens and healthy fats (coconut oil, olive oil, avocados). Meals are spaced out at 3 hours
Experience with gear
1st cycle (this is where all of my troubles began, this was not done correctly)- 10 weeks Test E 500mg weekly (250 x2 per week), adex .5mg EOD (did not taper off adex and had a bad rebound)
PCT- Clomid 100/100/50/50
In-between both cycles ran small doses of ADEX to keep E2 in check, I remember being an emotional wreck lol
2nd cycle (about one year later and I was not recovering from first cycle)- 10 weeks Test 250 x2 weely, Masteron 200mg x2 weekly, NPP 50mg EOD, adex as needed (my hair started thinning from the mast)
PCT- Nolva 40/40/20/20 Clomid 100/100/50/50 Aromasin 12.5mg EOD
Still did not recover, ran aromasin in-between
3rd cycle- 10 weeks Test E 250 once per week, Tren Ace 100mg EOD, Anavar 100mg daily (6weeks), HCG 250iu x2 weekly Adex.5 EOD
PCT- PCT- Nolva 40/40/20/20 Clomid 100/100/50/50 Aromasin 12.5mg EOD
Still not recovered
4th Cycle- Anadrol 50mg ED (4weeks), Test E 250 once per week, Tren Ace 100mg EOD, HCG 250iu x2 weekly
Still not recovered, tried Power PCT
Day 1-16 : 2500iu HCG every other day.
Day 1-30 : Nolva 20mg/day; Clomid 100mg/day (50mg was taken twice per day)
Day 31-45 : Nolva 20mg/day
Used aromasin the whole time 12.5mg e3d
Bloodwork After showed E2 very high, not much response from LH/FSH also
Doctor would not put me on TRT due to my age and said it is a risk for prostate cancer. I then deicded to put myself on TRT and was on for 6 months Test E 250 1/2cc weekly. I used aromasin to control E but did not find it very helpful, switched to Adex. I found controlling my levels to be very tough. Decided to come off and run HCG 250iu E3D which I felt a litlle better on. Came off that and now have been on a test booster for the past 3 weeks hoping maybe something will help.
So with all of that out there I am here because I need help. I understand I should of never gone back on, I was yound and un-educated. I continued using because I was loosing muscle mass and thought if everything was shutdown again maybe the PCT would work with changes and I was obviously wrong. I did get bloodwork in-between everything and E2 was either high or low, FT low, TT mid range, prolactin mid range, LH/fsh low, thyroid levels were in mid range. I read the post https://forums.t-nation.com/t/hpta-restart-for-trt-w-application-to-gear-pct/211723?u=ksman and want to try a restart once more. Looking for thoughts, feelings, and the brutal truth.
I want to feel semi normal again. I have no aggression, no primal sex drive at all. I can have sex with so-so erections but I am generally disinterested in sex. My testes feel very light and empty and have for a long time. When I do have erections it almost feels like my penis is hollow, when I am erect there is still no real urge. My girl and I are having issues because of my lack of drive and she does not want to put up with it anymore. I take cialis to get the job done but there is no primal desire for sex. Even when I was on T and an AI I could not get myself to actually have a decent drive. I have forgotten what being horny feels like and I want it back any way possible. Also, part of the restart is I want to try to be off everything and we would like another child. I gain excess weight extremely easy, emotional eating, and facial hair grows in very very slow.
I will be getting bloodwork this week before starting what KSman has posted and then follow his recommendations. The bloodwork I am requesting will be
Again, I am looking for honest feedback and help me move forward if possible. If anything I just want a damn sex drive. I know this is long but I tried to put everything I could think of. Thank you everyone!